Father Daughter Duo
by tiffini42112
Summary: Bay and her Father Sean have never had the greatest relationship, and when the dead started walking it only got worse. After a year of traveling they finally find a safe place... or so they thought. (This story includes most of the characters, Daryl/OC. I am also writing this as if the governor doesn't exist, that may change in the future.)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one-The Beginning**

The duct tape made a ripping sound as I pulled the x-acto knife down it. I peeled the tape off of the cutting board and was about to lay it onto another piece, sticky sides together when I heard my mother scream in the living room. I jumped and the tape that was going to me a bill fold for my dad was now just a sticky mess around my hand. I was cutting the tape off of my hand as I walked down the hallway through the kitchen and into the living room. "Mom?" I called but I didn't see her. I heard her yell my name, her voice laced with pain. I followed it to her bed room she was sitting on her bed holding a blood soaked towel to her arm. "Oh my god mom what happened?"

"I heard a noise at the door so I answered it. One of those diseased people bit me." The hand that was holding the towel was shaking.

"The news said to stay indoors. Why would you open the door?" I was freaking out on her, I didn't mean to, but I had never been good in emergency situations. "Where's dad? Shouldn't he be in from work by now?" The news blasted on the TV in the living room telling people that the outbreak has gotten worse and that people are to report to Atlanta. "Mom where is dad?" I practically yelled at her.

"Bay, calm down. Breath. We will wait a little bit longer and if your dad isn't home by then we will head to Atlanta. Go pack some clothes and stuff I'll be okay." Mom always had a way of calming me with her words. It was kind of ridiculous that I still lived with my parents at nineteen, but it was cheaper to stay there then it was to live in a dorm room all by myself.

I went to my room and started throwing clothes into a backpack. I was grabbing my tooth brush out of the zebra print cup in my bathroom when I heard the gun shot. I shoved the tooth brush into the bag, zipped it and through it over my shoulder. I ran to my parent's room to see my mom lying on the bed. There was blood everywhere. It was splattered on the wall above the headboard, and it was seeping from the hole in her head, soaking the sheets. "No!" I ran to her side and shook her. "Mom! Mom? No no no no." I buried my head in her stomach and cried. It was all I could do. I couldn't make myself move from her side. I shouldn't have left her after she got bit. I should have just waited with her for dad to come home, but I was just doing what she told me to. I managed to lift up my head and noticed a piece of paper that she usually wrote her shopping lists on laying beside her and I picked it up.

_Bay, I love you and I love your dad. Please forgive me, but I can't become one of those things. If your dad doesn't come back take all of his guns and ammo and go to Atlanta. I know you don't know what bullet goes with what gun, but you are a smart girl you will figure it out. Stay safe. I love y'all. See you on the other side some day._

_-mom_

I clutched the note to my chest and stood up pacing the room. Leave it to mom to write a note before something like this. She always thought ahead, so I didn't understand why she opened the door for a walker. She had always kept me level headed when something bad happened. I needed her and god took her away from me. I kicked the wall in anger.

"Oh my god." I sat up and spun to face the door. My dad was standing in the doorway still in his orange work Nomex, with a bloody tire iron in his hand.

"She got bit." Was the only thing I could get out of my mouth. I had never seen my dad cry until then. He slowly walked over to my mother's body, brushed her bloody hair out of her face. A fresh batch of tears fell down my cheeks as I watch my father, the strongest man I knew physically and emotionally, cry over my mother's dead body. I didn't know how long we had been in the room, but tears were still falling down my face when dad finally sat up and wiped the tears from his face. The sadness on his face was replaced my anger. He stood from his place on his knees by the bed and went into the closet. He came out with the big bag that contained his hunting knives. He walked over to the bed, plucked the pistol from my mother's cold hand and shoved it into mine. I stared at it in horror before I went into the living room. He was at the gun cabinet shoving every gun he had into the bag. He then emptied the cabinet of its ammo discarding it into the bag as well. I stared at the gun in my hand again. Why had he given this thing to me? He knew I didn't know how to use it.

"What are you doing just standing there? Let's go." I ran over to were he was standing at the door of our trailer house. "Don't be afraid to use that thing on those people. If you don't kill them they will kill you." I nodded terrified of what I was going to find on the other side of the door. He slung it open and ran towards his red '91 Chevy work truck and hopped in the driver's seat. I was right behind him and went to open the passenger door but I spun around feeling a hand on my shoulder. I gasped when I realized who it was. The Gray haired woman, that was snarling and biting at my face as I held her off of me with me forearm, was my one sweet as could be grandmother that lived nest to us. I screamed as I struggled to hold her back. "Come on!" I heard my dad yell at me and I gave her a hard shove and she fell to the ground. I jumped into the opened passenger door and slipped on my seat belt as my dad sped off toward Atlanta.

I looked over at my dad who was looking intently out of the windshield as he drove. I wiped at the dried tears on my face as I spoke. "Dad, grandma…"

"I know there's nothing we can do about it now. Let's just see if we can get to Atlanta."

**A/N:** What do you guys think? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the walking dead.**

**Chapter 2-The Journey **

I had always been attached to my dad. Even though I never went hunting with him or even participated in target practice. I was always around him, always there to hand him tools when he needed them or hold the flashlight as he worked on the old truck, Old Red, that he tried his best to keep in good condition even though we never seemed to have enough money to buy the parts that he needed. I was always quiet and always did what he said. He was a hard, stern, and short tempered man, but he had his small ways of showing how much he cared. When my mother died and the world pretty much came to an end he only got more short tempered and more demanding of me.

So when we figured out that the place in Atlanta that was supposed to be safe was a danger zone we set out together in search of living people. We found people in an old nursing home most of them were Mexican and were always speaking Spanish. We stayed there for quite a while. I started to come out of my shy shell and was getting to know the people and dad had to, even though he had always been a bit racist. Guillermo, the leader of the group, and I had became friends and he had even started teaching me how to speak Spanish when ever we had the time. My dad kept telling me that I needed to be learning how to defend myself and not useless stuff like different languages, but he would never teach me how to use the gun that he insisted that I keep on me at all times.

"Usted es un hombre guapo" Guillermo told me to say it so I tried to mimic his perfect accent. I guess I got it right because he flashed his perfect teeth at me in a big smile. "Why thank you your not so bad looking yourself." I blushed and looked at myself. I was nothing special. My hair even though it was straight was messy, since I didn't have access to the only face soap I could use I had a few zits, and even though I had lost a little weight since the beginning of this mess I was still over weight. I looked up at him and he put his hand on my face only to drop it quickly when he herd my dad clear his throat from the door way of the room. He grabbed me by the arm and gently pulled me from the room.

"You can't trust guys around you like that baby girl. You're nineteen you should know that men in this world are going to try to take advantage of you. I don't think he is that kind of guy, but please don't be alone with him from now on ok?"

"Ok." He was about to walk away. "Hey Dad?" he turned around and looked at me with the usual expression he wore on his face now days. "Will you please teach me how to use this thing?" I held up the gun and he nodded. We were walking down the hallway when we heard everyone screaming. The nursing home had somehow been over run. We lost everyone and I would have been lost as well if it wasn't for my dad. When my back was against the wall, literally, and a walker was at my front my dad swooped in, shot the walker with his shot gun and shoved to me the back door of the building. We ran and jumped into Old Red and left the city for good. We were driving out of the city and through a little town that I wasn't familiar with. Neither of us had spoken since we left the massacre of the old group. "Hey dad," he hummed at me letting me know he was listening. "Thanks for saving me back there."

"You are my little girl. I will always save you." I was quiet again for a while.

"Hey dad," he hummed again. "I love you."

"I love you to Bay." He explained everything about the guns as we drove. He taught me what bullet went with what gun and how to load and clean all of them. He told me not to try cleaning the gun unless he was there to help me, because it was a bit complicated.

It took us a month of traveling to find the next group, but we didn't stay there for long. The people of that group were crazy religious people. I can't even begin to tell you what religion it was, because all the women were Prego, had long hair that they wore braided down their backs, and they all wore the same long skirted, home sewn dresses. The men were sexist and demanded that no woman be allowed to have a weapon of any type. My dad didn't like it when I had to give him back the gun, but he went with it because these were living people after all, that was if you could call hunkering down in a big church waiting for the next woman to go into labor and going insane from screaming little kids living.

It was our second week there and I was sleeping on a twin sized cot in a spare room of the church. I felt the covers raised and someone got into my bed. A hand covered my mouth stifling my scream. "Shush. I like you Bay and I think you like me to." The man who whispered to me flipped me over onto my back. The face of Matt, one of the younger men in the group who was with a woman who was seven months preggers with his baby, was above my face. I struggled to get away from him, but he got on top of me and held me down his hand still on my mouth. I was hitting him with my free hand and he uncovered my mouth only to replace it with his mouth forcing his tongue onto mine. He tased disgusting. The disgusting taste was replaced by the coppery one of blood when I bit down on his tongue hard. He screamed and slapped me and I took the opportunity to scream my head off in hopes that my dad would hear me.

The next thing I knew Matt was being thrown off of me and dad grabbed my hand and pulled me up out of the bed. He led me into the hall way and shoved the gun into my hand. "We are getting out of here. These people are bat shit crazy. I ain't having some kid trying nock up my Bailey bug." He hadn't called me that in a long time. We snuck out of the church through the back door. Once again hopped into Old Red and were on the road again.

Weeks later we were scavenging through a store miles away from Atlanta when we heard men come into the building. Dad pulled me down behind the cash register. I looked at him waiting to know what we were supposed to do. He looked at me with the same light blue eyes that were on my face and held his finger over his mouth. "That was fun. What are we going to so with her when we are done?" I heard one of the men ask.

"What we did with all the rest, kill her." Another man with a deceivingly nice voice answered. I looked at dad with wide eyes. He held his hand out palm down and made a motion like he was bouncing a ball, 'stay calm'. I took a quiet and slow deep breath before I nodded. He looked at the gun in my hands, which I had gotten good at shooting over the days of traveling and scavenging, and raised his eyebrows. 'Are you good on ammo?' I nodded my head again. He looked around the cash register quickly taking a peek at the men then continued our silent conversation. I was supposed to kill the man with the beard and he was going to kill the fat one. He held up three fingers and began counting down as soon as the last finger went down we popped up from behind the register and shot them both. Dad landed a shot straight to the fat mans forehead and my bullet hit the bearded man in the chest. We hightailed it back to the truck dodging bullets from other men we didn't know were outside. It was a miracle that we got out of there unharmed. After that we stuck to scavenging random houses in rural areas. This was fine with me, because dad being the kind to think ahead, gathered things like seeds, tools, and what ever guns and ammo he might find. I, on the other hand, gathered things like clothing blankets and cooking supplies. I even managed to find some knitting Needles and a good supply of thread. I liked to crochet, knit and almost every thing crafty like that. Before the world went to heck I had started up my own little business selling stuff made out of duct tape. Like flower pens, purses, clutches and wallets. Everyone always thought these were useless skills that were only good for lazy antisocial people, well they were wrong. i was antisocial and lazy but those days were behind us and no one could call me lazy anymore.

Any ways I had been staying in one of the houses waiting for dad to get back from hunting us something to eat with a compound bow he had found in one of the sporting goods stores that we had raided when he came back with two squirrels. I wrinkled my nose and he told me to be thankful for what food I got. "I am very thankful, I just like rabbit better." He laughed.

"That's my girl." He smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder approvingly. "Your mother only ate deer. She said that eveything else I killed was nasty." I looked at the floor missing my mom and neither of us said anything after that. Dad just skinned and cleaned the squirrel then I cooked it on the gas stove that was in the house. We had just finished eating the bland meat when dad broke the silence. "I saw a prison when I was hunting earlier. There were tons of walkers roaming the yards of the place. Was kind of sad, then again they were all I prisoners uniforms so most of them probably deserved to die." I thought about what he was saying wondering how the prisoners would have gotten infected if they were all kept in cells.

The houses we had been staying at were fine, but we were running out of places to scavenge and gas for the truck was getting scarce. We were constantly having to run from the dead as well as the living. "Hey dad." He looked up from the knife he was sharpening. "What if we could kill all of the zombies in the prison and live there from now on?"

"Are you serious?" he had his eyebrows raised at me and a joking look on his face.

"Yeah from the way you talk just camping in the yard would be better protection than random houses. If those fences can hold in that many walkers it could hold out people as well right?" he seamed to think about it for a while.

"We will check it out in the morning. Right now you just go get some sleep I'll stay and watch out for another one of those herds." I did as he said and went into the bedroom and went to sleep.

Dad woke me up around two in the morning, judging from the battery powered clock on the night stand, for me to take watch. The night went by fast in the anticipation of seeing the prison that dad was talking about. He came out of the house at sunrise. We put all the stuff in the truck and he got in. "Dad what are you doing? I thought we were goin to the prison."

"We are. I think I know how to get there without cutting through the woods. If I do find it we can hide the truck there and we wont have to leave it at this house and hike to it every time we need to go somewhere." I didn't say anything back. I just put my gun on the dash and got in the truck.

We drove for a good while and I was starting to wonder if dad just completely changed his mind about the prison. I was about to ask him about it when the prison came into sight. I stared open mouthed at it and I heard dad chuckle from the driver's seat. "You still want to live here?" I couldn't speak.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: TWD is not mine! nuf said.**

**Chapter 3-Hard work**

We were sitting in the truck looking at the prison. "Dad this place is perfect!" I said excitedly turning in my seat to look at him and he looked at me like I was crazy. "What?" I asked looking playfully offended.

"This isn't a joke Bay." He said giving me a hard scolding look.

"I know I wasn't joking dad." He sighed at me like I was the most ridicules person in the world.

"Look at the amount of walkers in that prison yard. Do you really think just the two of us can take on that? Even if you were the best shot in the county, which your not, we wouldn't have enough ammo to take them on."

"So we will find a different way." I suggested with a shrug and he rolled his eyes. "This is the safest place we have found so far. Are we just going to let the walkers have it?" I might have always been a bit quiet back in the old world. Everyone always told me to shut up that I was talking too much when I hadn't said a word, but I always spoke when I had something to say or when I really believed in something. This prison was something I believed in. My gut was telling me that we should at least try to clear it out.

My dad let out another aggravated huff of air. He rolled his eyes when I pulled my pleading puppy dog eyes, something I hadn't done since I was like five. "Err fine we will give it a try." He pushed the squeaky door open and I followed suit. "Here use this." He handed me a knife from the gun and ammo bag then pulled his knife out of the sheath on his hip. "We will see if we can take them out through the fence." He then grabbed some bolt cutters that I didn't even know we had and some rope. I was wondering what he needed these things for but I quickly found out when we got to the fence of the prison. He cut a hole in the fence that was big enough for us to fit through then laced and tied it shut with the rope. There didn't seem to be any walkers between the two tall fences and I was thankful for that.

The walkers on the other side of the fence in the prison yard quickly caught our sent and were scratching at the barrier eager to get to food. Dad started stabbing the walkers in the head with his knife and I followed his lead as always. I looked at each walker as I stabbed them in the head, eyes and even their nose sometimes. I eventually made a game out of it. Going off of race. If they looked Mexican, it was a blade through their right eye, African Americans got stabbed through their forehead, and white people got a blade through the left eyes. Regardless of race if there was something wrong with their nose that's were the blade went through at. I even made sure that I switched hands often to keep from wearing one out to fast, but eventually I lost all feeling in my arms and had to quit. "Dad I can't to this anymore. My arms feel like jelly." I wiggled my shoulders making my arms flop at my sides for emphasis. He smirked at me before we stood back to examine what we had accomplished. We had put a big dent in the number of walkers having killed at least half of them.

Problem was that we were both covered in blood that had splattered from the walkers heads as we took them down. Funny, I hadn't noticed it when we were killing them, I guess I was to busy concentrating on the game I made of it. "You look disgusting." I said to dad with my hands on my hips he laughed at me and said I did to. "Is there anywhere around here that we could wash off? I'm not eating or sleeping with this much blood on me." He nodded and made a follow me motion. I followed him to a small pond and I eagerly jumped in happy to get the walker gunk off of my body and my clothes. I didn't have any soap so I just did my best with out it. Dad and I switched places, he took a dip in the pond and I took watch for walkers.

We walked back to the truck not caring that we were fully clothed and soaking wet. Dad started a fire on the passengers side of the truck then went into the woods to hunt us something to eat since it wasn't long until sun down. I grabbed a towel and stepped around to the driver's side of the truck to changes into something a little cleaner. I admired my thinner body, this was the only thing good the infestation of walking dead people had brought. I had always wanted to loose weight, but we always had sweet things around the house and I just couldn't resist them. I still had a little pooch, but having weighed 195 lb at one point I figured this would never go away. I didn't want to be too skinny anyways I always thought it was so unattractive when you could see a girls hip bones sticking out.

I had just put on clean under things when a hand went around my mouth and I felt the cold metal of a knife blade at my throat. My back was pressed tightly to a muscular chest. "Say a word and you're a goner." A rough, unfamiliar voice whispered in my ear and I nodded my head in understanding. I could feel myself trembling in fear.

The nasty smelling hand that was on my mouth slid down to my chest and into my bra. I gritted my teeth and hot tears ran down my face. I wanted so bad to scream out for my dad, but I knew if I did that this man would have no problem killing me. That's just how most men were now days. The man proceeded to touch me in places that shouldn't be touched without permission. His calloused hand stung like hot embers as it ran over my skin. He moved me to the side of the truck and pushed me up against it. My hands were free, resting on the side of the truck bed. I could see the ammo bag and while the guy was distracted with my body I slowly slipped my hand into the bag and grabbed the first thing I felt. A knife. I crossed my legs at the ankles pissing off the man because I cut off his access to my body. As soon as he straighten up his body I quickly spun my body around uncrossing my ankles as I did and slammed the knife into his side and pulled it out. He yelled out as he fell to the ground in pain and I took that opportunity to run. I felt like one of those bimbos out of the scary movies that ran around in the woods all stupid and half naked.

But I wasn't stupid, and I couldn't help the fact that I was half naked. I ran to the prison and undid the rope on hole. I slipped in and quickly retied it before I ran to the closest watch tower. I flung the door open and stabbed a walker that was inside before I ran up the stairs and to the top. The moon was bright and I could see the man still on the ground writhing in pain near the truck. I saw my dad as he came out of the woods with a rabbit and a squirrel. I called out to my dad and I could see his head as it turned in my direction. "Watch out! Injured bad man on the other side of the truck!" I didn't know if he caught everything I said, but I saw him walk around to the other side of the truck and have a struggle with the man. My dad ended up tying the man's hands together then his feet. When I saw that dad had the man immobilized I left the safety of the tower and went to the truck. I finished dressing in a hurry then walked to where dad sat by the fire and sat down next to him.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Dad asked and I told him everything. "Well you did good, but from now I think you need to be on complete guard and don't get undressed unless I'm here to keep an eye out for you." I nodded at him but all I could think about was the anger I had at this man for touching me like that and I'm sure my face reflected my anger and sadness. "And you're telling the truth? He didn't…?"

"No. He just…touched." I said the last word with a shudder and he nodded looking almost as pissed as I felt. "I'll be right back." He didn't ask were I was going. I went to where the man was propped up with his back against a tree not far from the truck. This was the first good look I got at him. He was an older man with what looked like blond hair and blue eyes, how typical. He wore a leather vest over a dirty long sleeved shirt and holey jeans, but what caught my attention most was the metal thing that replaced his right hand that looked like it should have a hook attached to it.

"Whatcha lookin at sugar tits?" I jumped at the sound of his rough and unique voice.

"Apparently I'm looking at a crippled piece of shit." Now don't get me wrong, I was never one to curse, but with this man I made an exception. "And don't call me sugar tits."

"Or what you'll stab me again. Go ahead I don't care." I felt like doing just that, I wanted so bad just to get my knife, slam it into his leg and twist until he couldn't scream anymore. Instead I settled for back handing him several times. "That all ya got?" he asked not impressed.

"Nope, I could kill you if I wanted to, but I don't believe in killing the living. I will tell you this though; if you touch me again I will have no problem changing that belief." He laughed at me until I spit in his face.

"Yaw nasty little bitch!" he struggled with the ropes as I walked away. I went back to the fire and sat back down next to dad.

"You do what you needed to do?" I looked at him with a bit of shame in my eyes.

"No, yes, I don't know." Dad half laughed at me. "I want to kill him dad. I want him dead for what he tried to do to me…" I sat there with my knees pulled to my chest as dad focused on the meat over the fire. "Is…is that bad?" He shook his head and swallowed hard before he looked at me.

"No sweetie its not. Its normal to feel anger at someone for doing something like that to you. But you have to remember, do unto others…"

"As you would have them do unto you." I said with a nod, but I never really understood that phrase. It could be looked at two ways. One, I should treat him with kindness and respect, because that's how I would like to be treated. Or two, he treated me like crap so that meant he wanted me to treat him like crap back. Now that I think about it if he wanted me to do two, shouldn't I do one just to piss him off? Jeeze this stuff was annoying to think about. I decided that I would do the first choice because it seemed to be the more moral of the two. "What are we going to do with him?" I asked as we sat eating by the fire.

"Don't know, what do you think we should do with him?"

"I don't know, that why I asked you." He laughed at me for that comment.

"We will figure it out in the morning. For now he can stay where he is. You go sleep when you're done eating and I'll take watch." I put my plate on the ground then climbed into the back seat of the truck and went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"What's your name?" Dad asked the man bluntly where he was still tied to the tree. I could plainly see now that I was right about his eyes being blue. I know its weird, but eyes are the first thing I notice about people. Eyes are a door someone soul and this man? His eyes were a hard, searing, frightening, icy blue. I was scared to know what might happed when dad finally untied the man. Especially considering that the blade that replaced his hand was still attached to the metal contraption.

"Merle. Merle Dixon." The man replied bluntly glaring at my dad. "Yours?" I was wondering if that was really the mans name and if dad was going to tell him his real name when dad answered the man, Merle's, question he also answered mine.

"Sean." Dad didn't lie, but I still wasn't sure if Merle was this mans true name.

"What about sugar tits over there?" Dad didn't hesitate to slam his fist into the mans face.

"Call my daughter that again and you will wish you were dead." Merle wiped blood off of his lip and glared at dad. "Her name is Bay." A part of me wished that he would have lied and told him a fake name for me. Just looking at this man made my skin crawl. "No funny business. Stay there. We will be back later." The man scoffed and spit a spray of blood onto the ground. I felt his eyes on my backside as we walked back to the prison. Luckily once we got inside the fence Merle was out of sight and out of mind.

I started up the walker killing game from the previous day. Unfortunately it wasn't as easy as the previous day, because the numb jelly feeling my arms had was replaced by a stinging pain every time I lifted my arms. Dad noticed my slowed pace. "You sore?" I dropped my arms to my side taking a break to answer him. "Only one way to fix that. You gotta work the soreness out." I knew this was a lie, but I wasn't going to argue with my father. I just kept my stabbing at an even pace. The longer we carried on killing the walkers the more sore my hands got. I knew I was getting blisters, but I couldn't bring myself to look. I just kept killing the ugly dead people trying to concentrate on the game and the goal.

Finally I dropped my arms to my sides and let the knife fall from my sore hands. I looked out over the walker free yard and up to the sky. Judging my the position of the sun I'd say it was about four in the afternoon. We had spent practically all day killing the ugly creatures and we were finally done. I gave dad a weak smile at our success. He noticed the knife on the ground at my feet and frowned. He took my hands in his rough ones and flipped them over examining my palms. I had a long thin blister across the top of my palms reaching from pinky to pointer finger and another oval blister under each thumb. "Bay you should have said something. You could have stopped and I wouldn't have blamed you." He touched one of the blisters testing how much liquid was in the raised bubbles. I winced from the pain and he squinted at me. "Come on I think I still have a first aid kit in Old Red." We ducked through the hole in the fence, laced it back up and headed toward the truck.

Dad rinsed my hands with alcohol before he drained the blisters and used some of the yarn to tie a gauze pad to each of my palms. I examined his work touching the sore spots through the pads. "Are we going to move into the yard tonight?" I asked looking up from my hands and at Dad. He nodded and started gathering up our things. I hopped down off of the truck seat and started gathering up my things shoving them into the bag. Once we had everything that we needed moved inside the first prison fence we went back for Merle.

He was asleep so dad nudged him with his foot. Funny, I would have done more than nudge him. He woke with a startle looking around for immediate danger only to find my father towering over him. Then man slumped back down against the tree. Dad bent down and took the knife off of the metal contraption and was met by a parade of complaints from Merle. Dad just shrugged them off and shoved the knife into my hands. He then untied the horrid man from the tree. I walked behind dad as he walked Merle to the prison fence. I untied the lacing and opened the hole in the fence. Dad didn't say a word as she shoved him in then followed never taking his hands off of the rope that bound Merles hands behind his back. I followed dad in and re-laced he hole. We walked along the path between the two fences until we came to a gate. I slid it open ignoring the pain in my hands. We went through a couple more gates until we were in the yard.

Dad secured Merle's hands to a overturned bus and left him there while we went and got the rest of our stuff from where we left it by the hole in the fence. We walked back to the yard with our stuff on our backs and in our hands. Silence hung awkwardly in the air around us. I didn't know what to think about dad keeping the guy with us. He was just another mouth to feed and not worthy of the food we would provide him with. We sat our stuff down in the middle of the yard and I started setting up to build a fire.

"I going to go hunting. You take watch on the guard tower near the hole in the fence and yell if something happens." I didn't want to take watch on the guard tower, because that would mean being alone, but I once again wasn't going to argue with my dad. So I did what he said and followed him to said guard tower and went up the stairs to the top. I watched dad with a pair of binoculars until he disappeared into the tree line. I then turned them onto the man, _Merle_. He could probably see me watching him, but I didn't care. He was a bad man and bad men needed to be watched 24/7 in this new crappy world. 'He really doesn't look that bad for an older man.' Ugh, did I seriously just think that? Even if he was the most handsome man on the earth he was still an ass and the sight of him made me want to puke.

After that thought I dropped the binoculars to hang around my neck and took up walking the perimeter of the tower. I found it odd that we hadn't seen one walker outside the fences of the prison since we had been here. Everything seemed safe and uneventful around the tower so I sat down where I could easily see Merle where he sat and Dad where he would come out of the woods.

I was mainly staring at Merle though. I couldn't make my eyes leave him. It was like I could feel him looking at me so I had to look back. I found myself wondering my he did it. Why did he try to…to rape me? Did he get a thrill out of watching women cry because of pain he inflicted on them? Soon I found myself wondering just who he was. Was he a prisoner who actually managed to get out of this place? If he wasn't who was he before this all happened. Was he a nice guy and this world changed him for the worse? I heard a sharp whistle and I looked away from the man to see dad standing at the base of the tower.

"You can come down now. Got us some rabbit." He had a smirk on his face when he said it and I couldn't help but smile back at him. The thought if eating rabbit for dinner made my mouth water. I walked down the tower and out of the door closing it behind me out of habit. I started a fire when we got back to camp, if you can call a fire and some sleeping bags camp. The meat was cooking on the pit when Merle spoke.

"Are you people going to share that with me or just make me starve?" I thought about just leafing him starve, but the annoying little person in my head called conscience wouldn't let me do that. I ignored the question until dad and I were done eating. Dad smiled widely at me when I refilled my plate a third time. The smile instantly faded though when I stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked almost kind of mad. I rolled my eyes without meaning to and he raised his bows at me.

"Sorry Dad I didn't mean to be disrespectful, but I'm not going to let him starve. I'm not going to have his blood on my hands. No matter how much I wish he were." He nodded and started eating again. I tuned and started walking towards Merle who I clearly see in the moonlight. He was slumped down half laying half sitting against the bus. He sat up and lifted his head to look at me. He was strangely quiet and I didn't like it. "I uh," I scratched the back of my neck with the hand that wasn't holding the plate, "I brought you some rabbit."

"How am I supposed to eat it? Are you gonna feed it to me sugar ti, uh, Bay?" I thought it was funny that he actually refrained from calling me sugar tits again. I thought about his question. How was he supposed to eat it? His only hand was tied to the bus and I sure as hell wasn't getting my hands anywhere near his mouth. "Well?"

I held up one of my fingers signaling that I would be back in a second. I went to my dad and asked him what he thought. He shrugged. "Untie him and let him eat. Keep your gun on him the whole time and stay on your guard in case he tries something. I'll keep an eye from a distance." I didn't like his simple and dangerous plan nor could I believe that he was actually trusting me to guard him, but it was really all we could do if we chose to let him eat. So I walked over to Merle who wasn't surprised when I untied the knot that held his hand to the bus. He rubbed his wrist on his pants before he slowly picked up the plate off of the ground where I had set it. I sat down straight across from him and propped my elbow up on my knee pointing the gun straight at his heart. He snorted. "What are you gonna shoot me?" he smirked at me.

"Only if you do something stupid." We were both intensely quiet while he ate. I watched his long nimble fingers as he dropped piece after piece of the stringy meat into his mouth. He acted like I didn't even have the gun pointed on him. He finally looked up at me as he chewed the last piece of food.

"Do you have a staring problem or somethin?" he asked still chewing and I pulled a face then shook my head not willing to speak to him at the time. "Well then why do you keep staring at me?" I shrugged and kept the gun on him. "Wanna sneak away from your daddy and bump uglys?" Ugh that's a really disgusting way of asking if I wanted to have sex.

"Not even if you were the last man alive. I would let the human population die completely before I would touch you." He smirked at me. Seriously did he like being insulted? I got up and grabbed the string off of the ground where it had fallen and srapped it around his wrist once before I wrapped it around a random part of the bus. I was about to tie the string into a tight know when he suddenly jerked his and back. Nest thing I knew Merle's back was pressing me face first against the under part of the bus out of sight of my dad. I felt Merle quickly slide his blade out of my back pocked and reattach it. He held me to the bus with his good hand. I felt the chill of the tip of the blade against the back of my neck.

"Make one sound and your dead got me?" I nodded and he pried the gun from my sore hand causing me to let out a hiss of pain. "What the fuck did I just say?" he hissed in my ear.

"It's not my fault you hurt me." I whispered back without thinking and he quietly snorted.

"Shut up bitch." He took a deep breath. "Listen to me your fathers been drinking that whiskey for quite some time now and eventually he is gonna pass out. When he does you and me are out of here." What! I'm not going anywhere with this man. What is he talking about? Dad doesn't drink.

"Dad doesn't drink." I whispered disbelievingly and he snorted again. That was really annoying and unattractive.

"Are you blind girly?" Girly? What did he think he was, a pirate? Then again he was missing an arm and was stealing me. All that's missing was the ship and ocean. " He pulled me from the truck and kept the blade at the back of my neck. He walked me to the edge of the truck and made me lean over to look at my dad. Sure enough I could make out a bottle of jack in his hands as he drank it straight from the bottle. I couldn't believe my eyes dad didn't drink and why on earth would he start now? Epically when we had a prisoner to look after. I heard a quiet laugh come from Merles lips behind me.

I suddenly felt more lonely than I ever thought I could feel. My dad was a stupid drunk and he had let a evil man get his hands on me. He was supposed to be keeping an eye on us, but there he was plain as day staring into the fire as he drank. I watched as he stumbled away from the fire to pee. "Should be just any time now." Merle whispered on my ear and I cringed from his hot breath on my neck.

"Why do you have to take me with you? Who can't you just leave?" I asked in a pleading whisper hoping he would leave me here. "We wont come looking for you."

"Aww sweet Bay. Maybe I want a girl by my side. I get lonely out there all by myself." He answered in a mock caring voice.

"Then find a willing girl. I'm sure there's still a slut or two out there somewhere." He sighed and kissed my neck I cringed and pressed my face into my shoulder. "Please don't make me go with you." I pleaded emotionlessly. I refused to cry because of this man for a second time. He continued kissing my neck as we watched my father get more and more drunk. Eventually he did exactly what Merle said he would and passed out on his sleeping bag. Merle took this as his opportunity to get what he wanted in the first place. He held me against the old bus, cut off my clothes then ran his hand over my body causing the familiar burning sensation of the unwanted touch. Then he slammed me to the ground, grabbed my left wrist and pit at against the ground holing it there with the tip of his knife pressed into my palm. No amount of struggling helped it just made the tip of the knife dig deeper into my hand. Once he got my other hand pinned down he parted my kicking legs with his knees. His next action caused me to release a pain filled scream that probably attracted walkers from miles around.

He left me laying on the ground behind the bus. I felt broken, betrayed, most of all if felt dirty inside and out, physically and mentally. I hated myself I hated Merle and I hated my dad for getting drunk and letting this happen to me. I just laid there until the tears stopped falling and dried into crusty streaks on my face.

Eventually I did pull myself up off of the ground. the sun was just starting to come up. I went to my bag fished around until I found the one bottle of shampoo we had, some remotely clean clothes and a towel. I left dad passed out where he was and walked to the little lake. For some reason I wasn't worried that Merle would come back. I just jumped into the lake and washed my hair before I started scrubbing at my skin with sand that I picked up off of the bottom of the lake. Surely the rough sandpaper texture would scrub the dirtiness away, but no amount of scrubbing with sand or shampoo made me feel any cleaner. Eventually just walked out until the water line was over my head and let myself sink as low in the water as I felt in life.

I made myself open my eyes under the water which was surprisingly clear. I looked at my hands under the water which were free of the gauze pads and yarn. I admired the blue tent the water gave my skin and made the hole from Merle's knife in the center of my hand look black. I didn't care when I started feeling my lungs burn from the lack of oxygen. I stayed under liking the pain it caused me. The pain increased by the second but I still didn't come up for a breath. My vision started to tunnel, the length of the tunnel increased as the pain in my chest increased and soon there was no end to the tunnel just a darkness that went on forever until I went completely unconscious.

I gagged and spit out water. "Oh thank god." I heard the muffled voice before I saw the owner. "Have you been bit?" the man with brown hair and blue glaring eyes towering over me asked and I shook my head.

"I don't think so." My voice came out all raspy and it hurt. I pulled myself to a sitting position and he backed off me a little. That's when I noticed a man standing behind him with his crossbow at the ready. I also realized at that point that I was sitting in front of these men in my birthday suit. I looked around hectically for my clothes and located them behind the tree where I set them. I hid behind the tree and dressed in a rush not caring that I was dizzy and still wet. When I was done I stepped around the tree to see the men had waited on me. Of coarse they had, they probably wanted to take a go at me as well. "Who are you and what do you want with me?" I asked in a defeated non caring tone. "and can I have my knife and gun back?"

"We don't want anything from you I was just helping you." The man, that clearly pulled me from the water because he was wet from his knees down, said neglecting my second question.

"Then can I have my gun back and be on my way?" he shook his head.

"How do you know you wont track us down and kill us if we give them back." He asked and I slumped my shoulders.

"Because if I kill anyone it will be myself. I would have succeeded the first time if you hadn't "helped" me." I air quoted the word sarcastically. I was about to turn around and just walk of not caring that I was unarmed when the second man spoke.

"Fine here." He walked over to me and handed me my knife and gun. I shoved the gun into my waist band and secured the knife to my belt.

"Are you alone?" the first man asked and I nodded, because in my head I was. If my dad was to busy getting shit faced to take care of me then yeah. I was alone. "You can join us if you want to." I thought about it for a second eyeing the men. The man that "Helped" me looked to be an okay guy, but his friend, not so much. Why the hell not? They did "Help" me after all.

"Sure, why not? I don't have anything else to do." I said looking at the men the walking back towards the prison. "Just let me get my stuff." I had all intentions of just leaving dad at the prison yard and going with these people, which I realize now was a cold hearted thing to do, but at the time I was pissed at him and wasn't thinking clearly.

"And where exactly is your stuff at?" the first man asked as he followed me and I told him it was in the prison yard. "Are you serious? You have been staying in a prison?" I explained that I wasn't staying in the prison itself just he fenced in field. "Oh so what's your name?" he asked.

"Bay Clark. What's yours?" he told me his name was Rick Grimes. "And your friend here?" I asked raising my eyebrows at the other man.

"Daryl Dixon." I froze. I literally stopped walking not moving a muscle. Merle's last name was Dixon I slowly spun around to look at him. Daryl was younger but there was defiantly a resemblance. "What?" I didn't answer his question. Instead I bolted like a streak of lightening towards the prison and away from him. I managed to unlace the fence quickly not bothering with retying it and bolted up the nearest guard tower hiding inside. He heard the winded voices of the men drift up to me. "Where the hell'd she go?" Daryl asked loudly. Soon I heard the door to the tower open and I quietly slid under the desk hoping to not be seen.

It didn't work because the face of Rick popped into my view. "Get away from me!" I yelled at him causing my throat to burn and pointed my gun in his direction. He held up his hands and backed away and Daryl soon came into view as well.

"We just want to help you." Rick said in a calming voice.

"Yeah right. What man much less a _Dixon_ wants to help a girl like me?" I spit the name out like it was venom.

"Do you know Daryl?" Rick asked with a funny look on his face and I shook my head no.

"Merle?" this question came from Daryl himself and I nodded yes. He got a happy look on his face. "You have seen my brother? When? Where?" I sunk deeper behind the desk. How could he be happy about this?

"He's your brother?" was all I could croak out. I was loosing my voice quickly. He nodded then demanded to know where I had seen him. I couldn't answer his questions. It hurt to much to talk and even if it didn't I was crying too hard.

"Daryl is not like his brother okay? You need to come out from under there." He held his hand out to me and for some reason unknown to me I took it. He pulled me from under the desk and gave me a little shove to the door. We left the tower and they followed me to the yard and not far from where dad slept. I hadn't intended for them to meet my dad. "I thought you were alone." He looked a me suspiciously.

"I…Lied…sew me." I croaked out and motioned for them to stay put. I walked to dads side and picked up the bottle of Jack. There was a decent sized rock not far from his head. I eyes the bottle and the rock for a few seconds before I threw the bottle on the rock sending whiskey and glass shards onto his head. He woke up stinging together curse words that I didn't even know he knew.

"Damn it Bay what the fuck is wrong with you!?" he asked getting up not even noticing the people behind him.

"What's wrong with me!? I didn't even know you drink and you want to know what's wrong with me?" he looked down at the ground. And my yelling was just a raspy whisper that was killing my throat. "Look at me damn it!" I hissed and he looked at me. "You left me alone with that son of a bitch. Do you see him anywhere? Huh?" I shoved him. "Do you want to heat what he did to me while you were passed out drunk? Huh?" I shoved him again. "Do you want to hear about how he took you little girls V-Card and ripped it to shreds along with other pieces of my body that I didn't even know existed. Huh dad? Does that make you feel better?" the fact that I was loosing my voice made everything sound worse than it would have I if was yelling at the top of my lungs. I had never gotten this mad at my dad before, but he had never gave me reason to before. "I would be dead right now if it wasn't for this man." I pointed at Rick who was still standing behind my dad. "Oh and that man is the brother of the man that de-flowered your little girl. Happy now?" I was being completely hurtful to my dad, but I couldn't help it. I felt like he needed to hurt just as much as I did. "You know what? Fuck all of you!"

I walked off to some distant corner of the field and just sat there. Not feeling not thinking just being, I wasn't even aware that I was still breathing I wasn't aware of anything going on around me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I opened my eyes only to find that they were sealed shut with dried tears. I rubbed them to try and clear them out. "Here, take this." An unknown voice said and someone caught my wrist and shoved a wet rag into my hand. I took it and wiped my eyes with it loosening the crust keeping them shut. After a little wiping I could finally open my eyes. A pretty brunet lady with a swollen belly was smiling down at me. "Names Lori."

I squinted up at her. "Hi. Um who are you and what are you doing here?" She never stopped smiling at me.

"I'm part of Rick's group. Your father gave us permission to move into the yard with you guys." I rolled my eyes at her. 'Great more mouths to feed and more people to fear.' "Are you okay?" She asked and about that time a young boy ran up to her wearing a sheriff's hat.

"Dad wants to know if she wants to talk to Hershel." The boy said not even looking at me. These people were aggravating me.

"Uh, I'm fine, and who on earth is Hershel?" I asked looking between the kid and Lori. She looked down at me with another kind smile. Ugh her kindness is making me want to puke.

"Hershel is the doctor of the group. He could probably help you with your hands." I took a look at my hands. The blisters were dirty and the painful hole in the palm of my left hand was really deep.

"I guess I could use some help with my hands." I said glancing back and forth between her and the kid. She told the kid, Carl, to help me up and he grabbed me by the wrists and helped me to my feet. Every inch of my body complained as I stood up and I let out some grunts of pain.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked with a worried face and I told him I was, even though everything in me said the opposite. The three of us walked over to the fire where a whole group of people sat. There had to be at least six or seven people sitting around the fire. They walked me over to an older man that reminded me of my grandfather who I'm sure is as walker now. I shook the mans hand using just my finger tips and he introduced himself with a smile. 'Why do these people keep smiling? What in hell is there to be happy about?' I thought to myself with a frown on my face. I told him my name then thrust my hands at him.

"Jeeze did you run your hand through a cheese grater?" I just shrugged my shoulders. I was getting tired of answering questions. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" I didn't know if he was just asking about my hands or about my encounter with the older Dixon.

"Well the blisters are from stabbing walkers through the fence." I explained avoiding the hole in the center of my hand that was about as big as a cigarette burn would be.

"And this here?" he pointed to the sore and I just looked down at the ground not wanting to answer his question. "Well?"

"What the hell does it matter how it got there? Can you fix my hands or not?" I said impatiently just wanting to escape him and the eyes I could feel on my back from where I sat in front of Hershel who was sitting next to my dad.

"Look Bay, I'm sor…"

"Save it Dad. I get it. Your sorry," I said it mockingly "but that doesn't fix anything now does it?" I had no idea where my words where coming from. I had never spoken to dad so disrespectfully, but I guess him drinking at the most inappropriate time possible made me loose all respect for him. We sat there silently while Hershel cleaned and bandaged my hands. When he was done he got up, grasped my elbows and helped me stand up. Every muscle in my body protested as he did and I let out a hushed grunt of pain. He asked if I was okay. I was getting really tied of people asking me that. I wanted so much to lash out at him for asking me, but he had bandaged my hands despite how rude u was to him. I shrugged my sore shoulders. "I'm just a little…sore, allover." I didn't mention that the place that was most sore was in an unmentionable part of my body. He nodded his head. "Um, thanks." I said and he nodded before I started to walk off.

"Bay," I turned to look at my dad. "We have some rabbit cooked that Daryl killed." I looked at the man. He was sitting on an overturned bucket wearing a cut off shirt with a black vest and had his crossbow sling over his shoulder like it was a fashion accessory. He looked up at me having heard his name. I could barley see the blue of his eyes through the glare he was sending me.

I wrinkled my nose and looked back at my dad. "I'll pass." He looked shocked for some reason.

"You have to eat something." He protested and I looked around the fire. I spotted at can of something, picked it up, shook it at him then walked away. I could fell his eyes on my back as I left. I didn't really know where I was going I just knew I needed to get away from everyone and their stupid questions. I didn't eat whatever was in the can. I ended up setting it on the ground by the fence some where as I walked it not worrying about the occasional walker that slammed into it. I froze when the bus came into my path. I couldn't make myself go anywhere near it I couldn't go back to the scene of the… crime?… accident?…mistake? Whatever you want tot call it. Not to mention the fact that Daryl was walking back and forth of the top/side of it, taking watch I guess. He stopped walking when he saw me and we both just stood there looking at each other. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could feel them on me.

I turned around and walked away leaving Daryl and the stupid bus behind me. I walked the fence line and watched as people started bedding down for the night. I stopped and watched from across the dark yard as Daryl hopped down off of the bus and took a spot in the group. I didn't want to sleep among people I didn't know so I walked over to the fire and let people watch as I grabbed my sleeping bag. I felt someone grab my wrist from the ground and I looked down to see Dad. "Bay please don't sleep by yourself." I rolled my eyes and jerked my wrist out of his grasp. 'Now he cares about my safety?' I thought as I walked to a distant corner of the yard, laid down my sleeping bag and slid into it. It took me a while but I was eventually overcome with a nightmare filled sleep.

I woke up to the sun shining in my face and I groaned as I sat up looking over the yard. Most everyone was awake and going about their business. A young blond haired girl walked over to me. "Hi I'm Beth." She said holding out her hand to shake mine but she dropped in when she remembers about my bandages and smiled sheepishly. I told her hello back and slid out of my sleeping bag then rolled it up. "I was wondering if you had any clothes that needed to be washed." She said walking beside me toward the fire.

"Uh yeah I probably do, why?"

"Well I figured that I would wash them for you since…you know." She motioned to my hands and I got her point.

"Thanks I would appreciate that." I scanned that area for Daryl before I continued closer to the fire.

"Daryl's not a bad guy you know." Guess it wasn't a secret that I didn't like him. I ignored her and kept on walking. I sat down by the fire and plucked some of the meat off of the grill. It was still warm and for once I didn't care who had killed it. I was too hungry to care. Beth sat down beside me and started taking my dirty clothes out of my bag while I ate. I looked around for my dad and I didn't see him. 'There he goes again leaving me with people neither of us knows.' I thought before I turned to Beth.

"Where is my dad?" I asked and she looked down at the clothes she was washing with a tub of water and a wash board.

"He, Daryl, Rick and T-Dog went inside the prison to cleat out a cell block." She never looked up as she spoke. When she finally did look up she must have seen the look on my face. "They will be safe. Rick, Daryl and T-Dog know what they're doing." I snorted involuntarily when she said Daryl's name. "Look I've heard about Daryl's brother and Daryl is nothing like him. He may look and act a little scary, but he has a good heart." She went on pleading Daryl's case until I told her that I got the point. I actually could care less about what everyone else said about the man. I didn't want to he on this earth anymore much less surrounded by a bunch of overly nice women.

I wasn't worried about dad going into the prison, because I knew dad could handle himself. So excused myself and went to the watch tower that was in the yard. I heard noise as I walked up the stairs but I just thought that it was a walker that hadn't been killed yet. What I saw when I opened the office door made my eyes burn. A couple was half naked doing the dirty. Flashes of Merle on top of me holding me down filled my mind and I let out a disgusted, angry, aggravated yell as I slammed the door shut behind me and ran down the stairs. Beth came over to me and I got asked once again if I was okay, but I ignored her and made my way to the guard tower between the fences. I locked the door behind me when I went into the office of the tower. I slid down the wall and cried, again. I didn't know one person was capable of this amount of tears. I also didn't know one horrible person was capable of causing this amount of hurt, anger and disgust. I despised myself, my father, Merle and even Daryl for having such a horrible bother.

The rage in me grew with every tear that slid down my cheeks. Soon I was no longer sitting. I was screaming at, throwing and kicking everything in sight, even the metal walls of the guard tower. Thank god my father made me wear steel toed boots or my feet would have been as wrecked as my hands where. The rage filled fit eventually faded and my muscles screamed as I slid back down the wall, rested my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. I didn't care that my wavy shoulder length brown hair was all over the place probably in a million knots or that my eyes were probably super puffy from all the crying. I just sat there wallowing in self pity and anger.

I had been sitting there for hours when someone came and knocked on the door after trying the door knob. I looked up to see the couple that had been getting busy in the other guard tower. I rolled my eyes and put my aching head back into my hands. "Look we are really sorry you saw us." The guy said and I heard the girl make a sound or agreement. I told them to go away. "We are not going anywhere. You might was well let us in." I sat there not moving with my face in my hands. "Come on Bay. You obviously need to talk to some one and we aren't going anywhere." He got quiet for a minute while his girlfriend said something. "Okay I can be pretty annoying guess you will just have to deal with me until you decide to let us or at least Maggie in." 'Who the heck is Maggie?' I thought to myself. 'Oh duh, she's Maggie stupid.' soon I started hearing an out of beat annoying tapping on the door. The longer the tapping went on the more aggravated I got at the stupid Chinese boy.

"Fine!" If talking was what it would take to get these people off my back then what the hell? I got up and unlocked the door before taking my place back on the floor. I watched as the two slowly stepped into the room. "What do you want chink?" I asked with my arms propped up on my elbows.

"His name is Glenn and he's Korean." Maggie answered for him.

"Whatever. What do you people want from me?" I know I was being mean, but I was in a bad mood and obviously these people knew that. Yet they still bothered me.

"We just wanted to make sure you were…"

I yanked my knife out of my pocket and held it by the tip of the blade prepared to throw it. I didn't really know how to throw a knife like that, but they didn't know that. "If you say the word okay I swear." I finished the sentence with a glare at both of them.

"Oh…Kay." Glenn said with a funny look on his face and I glared at him. "Well we want to know what's wrong. Your dad said you won't talk to him and he won't tell us what is wrong. He just says you're not being yourself." What did this guy think he was a therapist? I let out a deep breath. But remained quiet. "Come on you have to say something."

"I've been relatively mute most of my life I don't think the end of the world is going to change me."

"Yeah your dad said you were shy, but it seems like you need to talk. It's not good to keep crap bottled up." Maggie chipped in. She was right. At home I at least had my journal to write in; here I have nothing, no one. I took another deep breath and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Fine I'll talk, but Mr. Annoying has to leave." I said pointing to Glenn who gave me a look for calling him annoying. "Don't look at me like that you brought that name on yourself." He smiled at that and kissed Maggie on the cheek before leaving the tower. Once he left Maggie turned to me.

"So, want to tell me why you look like you feel like shit?" she had to have he thickest country accent ever.

"Because I do feel like shit."

"Why?"

"You ask that question like it's so simple to answer."

"Well, if there are a lot of problems then start with the smallest one or just start from the beginning. Get everything organized in your head."

"Uh okay, let's see from the beginning." I thought about it. "Problem one. My mother, the only woman in the world that really understood me is now a rotting corpse in our old house." She nodded her head.

"My step mom and step brother got bit and we locked them in our barn. They stayed in there as walkers until a guy shot them. That almost made it seem like they died twice." Ugh why would they not have shot them as soon as they got bit? I kept my opinion to myself and just nodded my head. "What's number two?"

"My father started drinking and I didn't know about it until it was too late."

"What do you mean too late?"

"Well Merle only has one hand the other is a weird contraption that has a knife attached to it like a freakin pirate. Per dads instruction I untied Merle's good hand so he could eat." She nodded for me to go on. "Dad chose to drink while Merle was untied eating." Maggie gave me a look that seemed to say "Sooo?" "Merle managed to hold me captive until dad passed out."

"Then what happened?" Did she really not see where this was going?

"He rrr…ra." Raped didn't fit. What he did felt a lot more vulgar and disgusting if that was even possible. "Lets just say he ran my V-card through a paper shredder, burned it then stomped on it with spiked shoes." I peeled the bandage off of my hand and pointed to the hole. "This? This is where he used the tip of his bladed hand to hold me down. He had no problem digging it in if I so much as moved a finger." She grimaced at the sore and my description. "And my father was too drunk to even know what was going on. He said he would keep and eyes on the guy, but he was too busy getting wasted to even care what happened to me." Maggie's eyes were watery.

"Bay I'm so sor…"

"Don't!" I practically yelled holding up my hand stopping her sentence and she looked at me with confused shock. "Don't say you're sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. You are not to blame. I am. Me, my dad and Merle."

"Why do you blame yourself? You couldn't have done anything to change what happened." She was wrong.

"I could have stood up to my dad. I knew it was a stupid idea to untie Merle, but I had never disagreed with my dad. Sure I talked him into clearing out this place, but there was no danger in that. That wasn't as dangerous of a decision as the one to untie merle or let him starve, so I listened to my dad." I let out a disgusted laugh. "Look where that got me."

"You can't do that. You can't blame yourself. You didn't know he was going to do that." She's right, but I still couldn't help but hate myself. "I'm not going to tell you that you can't blame your dad, because from the way I understand it, he chose a really stupid time to be drinking. From what I have heard about Merle he should have died on the roof top where they left him in Atlanta." We sat there in silence for a long time. Talking did help a little, but it didn't fix anything. I still hated my dad and I still didn't like the fact that the brother of my rapist was in the group that was now staying with us.

"Problem number three." Maggie looked up at me. "The brother of the man that raped me is staying in this camp."

"Daryl's really not a bad guy. He can be a foul mouthed, racist, asshole sometimes, but he isn't all bad."

"So I have heard, but every time I look at him all I see is Merle and flashbacks of…you know." I said the last part with a shuttered cringe. She shrugged her shoulders not knowing what to say about that.

"Well are you hungry? It's getting to be lunch time and I'm starving. Even though rabbit and squirrel doesn't exactly taste like chicken." That got a laugh out of me. She was right it taste nothing like chicken and if you haven't been eating since you were a kid you would probably never like it. She turned around with a half smirk on her face. "What?"

"I love rabbit. Epically cooked in a slow cooker with carrots, potatoes and celery with a litter Tony's Chachere's sprinkled in it." She looked at me weird. "What? My dad cooked it when I was a kid." She shook her head at me. As we walked to the camp she told me that the men had almost cleared out a cell block and we would most likely be staying in there tomorrow night. I didn't feel as happy about that as she did. Once we got to the camp she pointed at Hershel. "You might want to let Dad clean and re-bandage your hands." 'So Hershel is her dad.' I thought to myself. 'I really need to learn who's who.'

I walked over to Hershel who instantly held out his hands for mine. He raised his eyebrows at my un-bandaged hand and I shrugged. "Merle." He looked at me weird. "The weird hole in the center of my palm that you asked about. Merle did it." The man looked relieved for some reason then went on with cleaning and bandaging my hands. I thanked him as we walked ever and sat down by the fire and he said that he understood that people have bad days sometimes. Ha! That is a major understatement. Just as I got my plate of food Maggie plopped down beside me and Glenn was at her side. Now that I wasn't completely disgusted I realized that they made a pretty cute couple. I gave Glenn an apologetic smile and he smiled in return. Just as my mood as rising Daryl came from around the bus and sat down across the fire from us. He seemed to be purposely avoiding my eyes.

I was getting up to leave when Maggie tugged on my pants leg from where she sat on the ground. "You can't avoid him forever you know." She was right, but I wasn't ready.

"I know. I just…" I glanced between her and Daryl. "I just need some time I guess. I'll take fence watch for the rest of the day." I got up and walked the fence while I ate my food. I always just turned around when I came to the bus. If there were walkers on the fence there then they would have to stay there, because I still couldn't make myself get any closer than twenty feet from it. I was content to my repetitive action of walking the fence and killing any walkers that were a threat.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **I apologize ahead of time if there are more grammer errors and typos than normal.

**Chapter 6**

When the sun started going down and everyone else had settled down for the night I wondered away from the fence and grabbed my sleeping bag. I contemplated where to sleep. If I wanted to be warm my choices were to sleep in the space between Hershel and Rick, between Maggie and Beth or between a black man, I'm guessing was T-Dog, and Daryl. Yeah this is going to be interesting. I defiantly wasn't going to sleep anywhere near Daryl and I wasn't very comfortable with the idea of sleeping between the other two men even if one of them technically save my life and the other was old. So I put my sleeping bag down in the decent size space between Maggie and Beth with my head away from the fire. I drifted off once again into a nightmare filled sleep.

I sat straight up in my sleeping bag my eyes were wide and my chest heaved with every rapid breath I took. I relaxed and tried to slow my breathing as I looked around. It was still dark, but I could tell the sun would come up soon and so would everyone else. I doubted that I could go back to sleep and even if I could I didn't want to. So I quietly rolled up my sleeping bag. When I stood up I noticed that there was a string of squirrels laying by the fire and Daryl was missing. I looked around to find him perched on the bus. What was his fascination with that thing? Why didn't he keep watch in a tower like a normal person?

Regardless I slipped my shoes back on and secured my knife back onto my belt. I picked up my circling of the fence from the previous day. If there was anything else I could be doing, I couldn't think of it at the time. Hell, I could barely think at all with the brother of such a repulsive man in the same camp as me. I stopped when I came to the bus that Daryl still stood on top of. The sun was up just enough that I could see his eyes which were locked on mine. He made a motion with his head that I didn't quite understand. He was either meaning for me to continue walking or for me to join him on the bus. I wasn't going to do either. I just stood there with my eyes locked on his. I was having trouble tearing them away. He made the motion again and it was enough for me to drop my eyes to the ground. I spun slowly on my heals and started walking in the opposite direction.

I was half way to being back to he bus when my dad stepped in front of me causing me to stumble to a stop. "We need to talk."

"Uh I think I have done all the talking I needed to do." I tried to step around him but he continued to block my path.

"Bay, come on. You can't keep shutting me out like this." I tried to slide between him and the fence, but he slammed his hand against it almost close lining me.

"Why? You had no problem shutting me out and drinking yourself into oblivion." I spat back at him and I noticed then that his eyes were watery. I didn't know if it made me feel triumphant because he was hurting as much as me or if I felt bad because I was purposely verbally abusing the only family I had left. The feeling of guilt slammed into me when a tear rolled down his cheek. He hadn't cried since mom died. "Just tell my why you did it dad. Why did you chose that night of all nights to start drinking?" I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for an answer.

"I didn't choose that night to start drinking I had been drinking for about two weeks before that." What! Was that supposed to make me feel better? I raised my eyebrows at him and pursed my lips. "I know, that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth."

"Dad I have never seen you drink that much before. So even if you have been drinking for weeks you could have not drank that night for not just my safety but yours to. Your lucky he didn't kill you after he was done with me." He cringed at the last three words.

"I know. I was stupid and I don't know why I did it." He was looking at the ground and I had never seen my dad so defeated before. "I miss your mother." So that's why he started drinking? "You look so much like her. You got her big doe eyes and her perfect long bridged nose. The only thing you got from me was your eye color and attitude." I smirked a little at the attitude comment.

"Yeah, I miss her to." I looked at the ground and kicked the dirt around a bit. "But dad?" I looked back up at him when he hummed letting me know he was listening. "No more drinking. Okay?" he nodded before I stepped around him to continue walking the perimeter.

I hade taken two steps past him when dad spoke again. "Cast your burden upon the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." Mom must have taught him that, because dad never went to church and he fell asleep the few times he did. I turned and gave him a slow nod. "And Lori cooked some Squirrel if your hungry." As he said it my stomach growled audibly. We both smiled and I headed to the fire as dad went to join Rick, T-dog and Daryl near the gate that led into the prison.

Lori handed me as plate when I sat down on an ice chest. "I'm guessing that everyone else had already ate." Lori nodded her head focusing on take the remainder of meat off of the home made grill and putting it on a plate for herself. "Eating for two?" I asked and he smiled before she shrugged and nodded at me. "Okay help me out here." She gave me a curious look. "I know Carl is your son and Rick has to be his father because they look a lot alike. And I know Maggie is Hershel's Daughter and Glenn is her Boyfriend. So who are everyone else and how are they related? I don't like to be out of the loop. Epically if we are staying in this group permanently." She nodded in understanding.

"Rick is my husband, Carl is our son and this is his baby." I never asked about that and until then I didn't doubt that it was his, but the way she said it and the look on her face when she caressed her stomach made me think otherwise. "Maggie and Beth are Hershel's Daughters. Maggie might as well be Glenn's wife." She laughed when she said it. "T-Dog is just T-Dog and well you know about Daryl." She finished the sentence with a dismissive wave.

We continued our small talk until we were both done eating. I scraped the bones off of the plates into a scrap bowl as I handed them to her to be washed and rinsed. I slowly but surely dried them and put them into the picnic basket they came out of. I asked Lori what else needed to be done and she replied that there was nothing else that needed to be done until the men got the prison cleaned out. So we all just sat around the dieing fire doing random mundane tasks. I started working on knitting a blanket.

I was working on my tenth row when then men came out of the prison looking dirty and tired. The groups attention was on them as they came over to the fire and sat down. We were all giving them looks that seemed to sat "well?". Rick ran his hand through his hair, dad wiped his hands on his shirt and Daryl just stood by biting at his nails. I tried to ignore the fact that that was really disgusting and unhealthy considering they had just been killing walkers and he probably had their blood under his nails , but I couldn't help but make a disgusted face. He noticed my face, made one back and dropped his hand to his side. I looked at Rick when he started talking.

"We have one cell block cleaned out its safer in there then it is out here so we can all start moving in now." Everyone smiled when he said that as they all realized that they would have beds to sleep in. I was happy as well, but being in that place meant being in closer confides to these people which was not a comforting thought to me. "We are going to look for the cafeteria in the morning." Even I had to smile at that, because if this was still a working prison when all of this walking dead stuff happened then there had to still be food left in there.

When Rick finished talking everyone eagerly started gathering their things and once we all had our belongings in our arms and on our backs the three men led us into the cell block. It wasn't exactly a homey place, but with a little cleaning up it could be livable. I guess it was technically livable at the moment, but I wasn't really comfortable with sharing my cell with a dead geek.

I watched as everyone started picking out their cells and Daryl stated the he wasn't going to sleep in a cage and that he would be sleeping on the perch. After everyone had pick cells and was getting their things together I went around trying to find a cell that was relevantly clean. They were all gross and all had blood splattered on the walls. I was about to give up when I came across one on the catwalk that the door was still shut on. It was unlocked so I slid the door open and walked in cautiously. It was empty and the cleanest of all the cells I had seen. The only blood in the cell was a dried smear that led out of the cell and over the ledge. The only down side to it was that it was two cells down from where Daryl had made his bed on the perch.

I tapped my food nervously as I looked around the room debating if it was worth it. "Wow." I turned around to see my dad standing behind me. "I think you found the jewel of cells." I nodded my head. "You didn't want to bunk with me?" he asked.

"No. I uh. I think I'll bunk here." He nodded. "By myself." The look on his face made me add that last part and he turned and left in understanding. I didn't know if I decided to stay in the cell to keep distance between my dad or if I just didn't want to give up the clean cell. Either way I threw my bag onto the top bunk and sat down on the bottom one. The bed was surprisingly not that bad. I had just laid down and gotten comfortable when I heard someone out side my cell.

"Knock knock." Glenn stuck his head into my cell. "Hershel wants to look at your hands." I nodded and pulled my still sore body up off of the bed with a groan. "You're probably going to want to hurt me for asking you this again, but are you sure you are okay?" We walked out of the cell and past Daryl's empty bed.

"Physically, yeah my muscles are just a little sore. Mentally, who knows now days." He nodded his head in understanding as we walked down the stairs and over to where Hershel was sitting at a table with his medical bag. I sat down in the other chair and laid my hands on the table for him. He did his thing and told me that the blisters where healing quickly and that I no longer needed to have a bandage on both of my hands. Just one over the hole in the center of my hand that wasn't healing quickly at all and thanks to its location it didn't bother me too much. I walked away with a small piece of clean fabric tied onto the palm of my hand.

We spent the rest of the day dragging walkers out of the building and into a pile on the concrete to be burnt. My muscles were screaming when we finished and the sun would be going down in a couple of hours so Dad and Daryl went hunting. The rest of us went back into the prison. The group sat around a table in the main room chatting about random things, but I chose to retire to my cell and relax on my bed. I ended up falling asleep.

I shot straight up in the bed and a sharp pain shot through my head causing a high pitched yelp to escape my lips. I pulled my stiff body off of the bed and to the dirty mirror over a small sink. I grabbed a dirty shirt out of my bag and wiped it clean. Bright red blood was leaking from the new half inch cut in the middle of my forehead near my hairline and down the bridge of my nose. It dripped off the tip of my nose and into the sink. I was to distracted by the reflection in the mirror to do anything about the blood.

There were dark circles around my eyes. I hadn't noticed it before but dad was right. The shape of my eyes matched the doe eyed shape my mothers had been. The dark circles around them made the light blue color of them, that I inherited from my dad, look brighter than usual. My lips where dry and cracked and my caramel brown hair, that I once prided myself on keeping in perfect wavy curls was a tangled mess hanging around my face and shoulders. My face was also a lot slimmer than it used to be.

I finally snapped out of my daze when a gruff voice filled my cell. "Suppers ready." I snapped my head around to look at Daryl. "Your bleedin." He took a step into my cell and I took a step back keeping my eyes on him. "Here." He held out a red shop rag but I didn't move to take it. He started walking closer to me like I was a scared puppy or something. And in all reality I did fell like one I wanted to bolt from this room and away from him, but he was blocking my way. "Your bleeding really bad." He shook the shop rag at me and I still didn't take it. He kept walking toward me until my back was against the wall. I felt the blood as it dripped off of my nose and onto my chest, but I never looked at it I couldn't take my eyes off of the man walking toward me. When he was standing a foot away from me he grabbed my good hand and shoved the rag into it. He stood there waiting for me to clean up the blood but I couldn't make myself move. "Jeeze." He said in an aggravated huff and I thought he was going to hurt me. Instead he grabbed my wrist and made me press the rag to my head. He turned to walk out of the cell then turned back around to look at me. Hi face was blank like usual. "like I said, suppers ready." Then he was gone.

I stood there for a while just holding the rag to my head. What the hell just happened? My head hurt to bad to figure it out so I moved to the mirror and looked at the cut. It was deep and still bleeding so I applied a generous amount of pressure. With my other hand I grabbed the dirty shirt off of the floor and cleaned the blood off of my nose and chest. I slowly made my way down the stairs and past Daryl where he sat on them. My dad rushed over to me when he saw me holding the rag to my head.

"Are you okay? What happened?" there was that stupid question again.

"Dad I'm fine and I swear if someone asks me that question one more time I'll scream and attract every walker in this building." I addressed everyone with that statement then turned back to my dad who had a worried look on his face. "I hit my head on the bunk bed when I woke up." Dads worried look didn't go away but I ignored it and stepped around him to walk over to Hershel. Hershel look up from his food at me. "Would you mind taking a look at it when your done? I can't get it to stop bleeding." I asked motioning to my head and he sat his plate down. He went to his cell and came out with his bag. I hadn't realized until then that the sun was almost down. He pulled a chair up for me to sit in before he sat down in his. I eased myself into the chair and Hershel scooted closer to me. He asked Maggie to hold a flashlight while he worked and she did.

I felt blood trickle down my face when he removed the rag. "Oh that's pretty deep. Your going to need stitches." I just nodded at him. He started digging in his bag and pulled out a needle and thread. I had never needed stitches before and I was nervous. "This is probably going to hurt more than necessary. I don't have anything to numb you with first." 'Great' I thought sarcastically to myself. I think dad could tell I was nervous because after the first stitch he was at my side holding my hand. I squeezed it tight every time the needle went into my skin. It hurt my hands where the blisters were, but I didn't mind because it took my mind off the pain that was shooting through my head. If I was hurting dads hand, he never said so.

When Hershel was finished the bleeding had stopped and I had four stitches in my head. I thanked him before I moved to sit at the table with Lori, Glenn and Carl. Lori pushed me a plate of food and I ate it slowly. People started leaving one my one until I was alone in the room with my half eaten plate of food and an oil lantern on the table. The longer I sat there the more I just wanted to get out of the building. I hurriedly ate my food put the scraps in the bucket and my plate in the pan of water. I grabbed a flashlight that someone had left on the table and tucked the rag into my back pocket before I blew out the lantern and went out side.

The fresh, cool night air felt good against my skin. I wondered around for a while before falling into the habit of walking the perimeter. I once again stopped when I came to the bus. A movement on top caught my eye and I watched as Daryl walked the length of the bus. He stopped walking when he saw me. He made the same motion with his head as he did before and I shook my head. He did it again and I shook my head again. I had turned around and started walking off when I head footsteps behind me. I spun around to see Daryl heading my way. I had to hold back the urge to run instead I turned around and continued walking. Daryl started walking beside me, but I ignored him.

We were half way around the perimeter when he cleared his throat "You don't like me do you?"

"Jee have I made it that obvious?" I said sarcastically with out thinking and he snorted at me. We were quiet until we came to the bus. I turned around and he kept walking. His voice pulled me to a stop and I turned to look at him.

"So you don't just avoid the bus because I'm usually on top of it." No why would he have thought that. I glanced between him and the bus.

"No." I answered bluntly and he just kept looking at me with that blank naturally glaring face of his. "Look, everyone says your not a bad guy, but can you blame me for not believing them when I met your brother first." He still just stared at me so I turned around and started walking to the prison.

"So why do you avoid the bus?" he asked and I spun on my heals and walked as close to him as I could without getting to close to the bus.

"Why do you care?" I spat at him with a glare and my arms across my chest.

"I don't." he said in a gruff emotionless voice.

"Then my the hell didn't you just leave me to bleed to death in my cell?" I asked as I pulled the rag out of my pocked and threw it at him. He caught it and shrugged his shoulders at me. "Whatever." I turned to leave but I was once again stopped by his voice.

"You didn't answer my question." I turned back around tiredly.

I let out a huff of breath and put a hand on my hip. "You didn't answer mine either." He smirked at me.

"I asked you first." Ugh he wasn't going to give up was he?

"Fine you want to know why I avoid that bus like it's the plague?" he just kept looking at me with that blank look on his face. "Because that's where it happened. That where your disgusting bastard of a brother held me hostage until my father passed out. Its where he held me down and took everything that my innocent body had to offer." His face was no longer blank. If anything it was filled with anger and the more I spoke the angrier I got. "That bus and that man haunt me in my sleep. The son of a bitch is still hurting me." I pointed to my forehead. I didn't realize it but I had been walking closer to him as I spoke and he had backed away from me. I was now standing a foot away from the bus.

I glanced between Daryl and the bus with anger and fear pulsing through me. Next thing I knew I was kicking and hitting the bus with every once of fight I had left in me. Hot tears streamed down my face as I continued to fight the bus. Before I knew it I was being pulled backwards away from the bus by a strong set of arms that were wrapped around my shoulders. I relaxed with out thinking and stopped fighting. I let the tears fall freely as the strong arms released me. I fell to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest. I closed my eyes and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

I pulled myself into a sitting position and looked around. I was sitting in the exact spot that it all happened. Daryl stood not to far away leading against the tire of the bus. I stood up and attempted to brush the dust off of my shorts and legs then wiped the tears off of my face. I brushed my hair out of my face as Daryl walked over to me. "Your head is bleeding again." He held the rag out to me and I took it. I winced with the rag got tangled in the stitches and I fumbled around with the rag for a while before I gave up and dropped one of my hands to my side in defeat. Daryl chuckled before he stepped forward, turned me so that the moon light was shining in my face and easily untangled the Rag from the stitches. He arranged the rag on the stitches so that it wouldn't get tangled. He grabbed my hand and placed two of my fingers on top of the stitches.

"Uh, thanks." I said nervously before I motioned to the rag. "You never answered my question." I said looking at his blue eyes.

He back away from me and kicked at the dirt. "I don't know. I guess I just have a habit of cleaning up my brothers messes." So that's all I was to him? His brothers mess?

I snorted and he looked up at me. "So you don't care because you want to you care because you feel obligated to?" he shrugged his shoulders. "Well don't feel obligated to clean up his mess this time. I can handle myself thanks." I glared at him before I walked around the bus through the field and into the building. I climbed up onto the top bunk of the cell and laid down. For some reason my mind kept replaying both times Daryl pressed the shop rag to my head. I hated the fact that the more I thought about him the more attractive. I listened as I heard Daryl come in the building. His boots made tapping sounds as he came up the stairs. I heard the rustling of his blankets and he settled himself down for the night. I fell asleep listening to the sound of his light snoring that drifted into my cell.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I once again shot straight up in bed. This time I didn't hit my head. I easily got my breathing under control before I slid down off of the bed. I closed my eyes and flexed my neck causing a light groan to escape my lips as the muscles stretched. The aching in my body had eased some but I was still stiff. "You always wake up like that?" I jumped that the sound of Daryl's voice and turned to see him walk into my cell eating something that looked like a granola bar. I ignored him and put the stopper in the sink then emptied my full canteen into it. I was hoping he would just go away but he didn't. So I dipped the shop rag into the water, and sloshed it around. I rung it out before I looked in the mirror and started wiping dirt, blood and grime off of my face. I wiped around the stitched gently. I ran the rag over my nose revealing the little freckles that peppered it then finished wiping off my cheeks and neck. I started wiping off my chest when I remembered Daryl was still in my cell. I dropped the rag into the small sink causing water to splash over the edge onto the floor.

I turned my head to face him. "Can I get a little privacy please?" I asked with aggravation tainting my voice. I raised my eyebrows at him when he continued to just stand there. "What. Do you want?" I asked returning the glair his blue eyes cast at me. He blinked a few times snapping out of whatever daze he was in.

"Uh, your old man asked me to tell you that he is going hunting." He said before he turned and started walking out of the cell. "He said he wants you to come." Dad wanted me to go hunting with him? He had never asked me to tag along before so this confused me. I was about to tell Daryl to tell dad I wasn't going to go, but he was already gone. So I finished cleaning myself up and ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it up into a pony tail. I strapped my knife back to my belt and tucked my gun into the waistband of my jeans. I went down stairs to find that not many people were awake. Rick and Hershel sat at the table quietly drinking cups of something hot.

I was about to ask them where Dad went when they both pointed to the door leading outside. I smiled at them in thanks and headed in said direction. The dim morning sun was easy on my eyes and I quickly found dad and Daryl standing near the main gate. Daryl didn't say he was coming with us and I groaned inwardly at the thought wondering around in the woods with just him and my father. My dad greeted me with a smile when I neared him and Daryl. "Hey Bay. I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" I drawled suspiciously with my arms across my chest. Dad smiled form ear to ear and pulled an unstrung bow from behind his back. I looked like it was made from…oak maybe, I couldn't be sure. I kept my arms across my chest looking between the two men standing in front of me. "You're giving me a bow?" I tried to keep the disappointment out of my voice. When he said he had me a surprise I was hoping for something good like shampoo or a fully charged mp3 player. Not something that I didn't even know how to use.

"Yeah. I think it's time you learned how to use something other than a gun and a knife." Dad responded and I didn't say anything or move to take the bow. "Guns make to much noise and you can't always be close enough to them to kill them with your knife." He extended the bow out for me to take it.

I took a deep breath and scratched the back of my neck as I let it out. "Alright fine. I'll give it a try." I said taking it out of his hand. It was a little heavier than it looked but not heavy enough to be uncomfortable to carry. "Where did you get this anyways?" I asked flipping it in my hands testing its weight.

"The same place I got my bow from."

"I don't remember you getting this."

"I snuck it into the truck. I was saving it for your birthday but I have no idea what month it is or even what day of the week it is. So I figured today was as good a day as any." My birthday? It surprised me that dad would even be thinking of things like that when we had to fight the dead every day.

"Um thanks, but I don't even know how to use this thing." I said as I looked at the object in my hand.

"I know that's why Daryl is going to show you how to use it." I jerk my head up at my dad.

"What? Why can't you show me how to use it?" I asked not hiding my distaste of the idea.

"Daryl said he is a good teacher and come on," he gave me a small smile, "you know I don't have the patients to teach you anything." He was right. The last time he tried to teach me something was a disaster. It was when I was sixteen. After hours of mom begging him to, he attempted to show me how to change a tire. After hitting him in the knee with the four way tire iron, twice, loosing two of the lug nuts and some how managing to cut my finger, he gave up and mom let him. He had cursed every time I did something wrong.

"Yeah I know, but isn't there anyone else around here that knows how to use a bow?" I pleaded with him and he gave me a look of disapproval. I noticed that Daryl had left giving us room to talk.

"Bay give him a chance." I looked at my dad who was picking his bow up off of the ground along with a plastic shopping bag of stuff and a quiver. "He's not responsible for his brother's actions." I didn't respond and we stood there having what felt like a stare down for a minute or so. "So will you let him teach you? Please."

I let my head fall back and an aggravated growl escape my throat. "Fine." I looked back at my dad who was smiling "But only because you said please." I said with a glare and pointed my finger at him which only made him laugh. He called Daryl over and told him that I had agreed to the shooting lessons. Dad handed the plastic bag to Daryl and the quiver to me before he went out of the gait and into the woods. I turned to Daryl who looked at me with a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Oh shut up." I said slinging the quiver over my back as he scoffed at me before his lips quirked up into smirk. He walked through the still open gait and jerked his head for me to follow. "We're going out there?" I asked with my eyebrows raised in surprise.

"What? You scared?" he asked teasingly. I chirped out a quick "nope" and followed him out. I actually was a bit scared. The thought of being alone with him in woods that might be filled with walking dead people made me quite literally shake in my boots. I was half expecting him to lead me into the woods, but instead we stopped when we got to the tree line. I watched as he took a piece of paper out of the plastic bag and secured it to a wide tree with a tack. The paper had a bright orange target on it with a black bull's eye.

He walked back over to stand next to me as he pulled some stuff out of the bag and handed it to me. He let the bag fall to the ground and I held up something that looked like a leather bracelet. Attached to it were three strips of leather with what resembled finger tips from leather gloves attached to the ends. "What is this?" I asked still examining the thing.

He let out a breath as he took it from me. "It's a shooting glove. Do you know which eye is your dominate one?" I told him I did and which eyes it was. He gave me the glove back. "Put this on your right hand so that it is covering your middle three fingers tips." I did and he handed me another piece of leather. This one was a simple square piece with a buckle attached to the top bottom and middle. He answered my question before I could even ask it. "It's and arm guard. Keeps you from scraping the hide off of your arm if you forget to bend your arm when you shoot." He explained and I put it on my left arm. I was struggling to do the buckles one handed so he helped me. He was buckling the one closest to my elbow when I looked aver his shoulder to see a walker stumble out of the woods a few feet behind him. Daryl noticed when I wasn't looking at him and quickly followed my gaze. Before I even knew what happened he had stabbed it through the eye with his knife. "Jeeze, you could have said somethin." He said walking back wiping the blade of his knife against his pants before his slipped it back into the sheath on his hip.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't exactly give me time to." I threw back at him sarcastically. He rolled his eyes before he finished the last buckle. He held his hand out for the bow and I handed it to him.

"I'm assuming you don't know how to string it?" he asked thinking it was a dumb question. This, I actually did know how to do. I remembered seeing my grand father do it one time.

"Actually I do." I answered with a bit of a smart aleck attitude. I took the bow out of his hand, looped my leg between the limb of the bow and the sting and pulled the other limb down then slipped the string into the notch. I unhooked it from my leg and looked at the bow proudly then at Daryl who didn't look impressed.

"Okay smart ass." He took the bow out of my hand. "That's all fine and dandy, but you do that too many times and you'll fuck up your bow." My smile faded. "This," he held up a string with little leather squares on each end of it, "is called a stringer." He showed me how to use it, which was a lot easier than having to stick the bow between my legs. He made me string, unstring, and string the bow again before he was satisfied that I knew what I was doing. "Okay, you ready to learn how to shoot? Or do you already know how to do that as well?" he said with a little sarcasm and I smirked at him.

I pulled an arrow out of the quiver on my back. "How about I do what I think is right and you correct me if I'm wrong." I suggested and his lips pulled up into the smirk I was becoming familiar with. I faced the target and put the arrow on the arrow rest as I nocked it.

"Wrong." He said from behind me.

I let out an aggravated breath and dropped my head. "What did I do wrong?" I asked and he stepped up beside me and un-nocked the arrow.

"The cock feather has to be facing up" I choked on a laugh and covered my mouth with my gloved hand.

I snickered a little when he looked at me like I was a little kid laughing at someone for saying the word duty. "I'm sorry. Did you just say _cock_ feather?" I asked with a red face embarrassed at myself.

"Yeah. Get your head out of the gutter girl." He flicked the plastic feather that was a different color than the other two. "It's what that's called." I suppressed my smile as he nocked the arrow the right way. "Let's see your stance." He said and I stood with my feet shoulder width apart then pulled the bow back. "Wrong." Why does that not surprise me? I let out yet another aggravated breath and eased the string back then looked at him waiting for him to correct me. "Do that again." I pulled the string back again and he stepped closer to me making me uncomfortable. He grabbed my elbow and lifted it up. "You want your elbow to be parallel with the arrow." He grabbed my wrist and adjusted my hand so that my thumb was touching my mouth. "Use your mouth as an anchor." I could feel his breath on my bare shoulder as he looked over it at my hands on the bow. It sent a tingle down my spine and it surprised me that I couldn't figure out if it was a repulsive sensation or an inviting one. Either way I found myself wishing that I wasn't wearing a spaghetti strap tank top.

He slid his and over mine where it rested on the grip of the bow. "Don't have a death grip on the bow." I loosened my hand under his and the bow wavered a bit. "But don't be too loose either." I tightened my grip again. "Relax." "Kind of hard to relax with you standing so damn close" I thought to myself. I tried my best to relax despite his closeness and he stepped back when he thought my grip was right. "Okay now aim; take a deep breath then release." I looked down the shaft of the arrow and placed the point of the arrow on the bull's eyes of the target. I took deep breath then released both it and the string. The arrow hit the tree with a thud and I relaxed from my stance. The arrow missed the bulls eyes but hit in the middle ring of the target. "Not bad. Do it again."

I got back in stance and repeated all the steps in my head. Elbow parallel, anchored to mouth, relaxed grip, aim, deep breath, release. I let the arrow fly and it grazed the outside of the bull's eye. I smiled and jumped up and down in victory before remembered that Daryl was still watching me. I stopped jumping and settled for a triumphant grin in his direction. "Your dad wasn't kidding when he said you would probably be a natural." Was that supposed to be a compliment? I just shrugged my shoulders and turned back to the target. I took my stance and repeated the steps, this time the arrow hit the bull's eyes dead on. I turned around when I heard Daryl clapping and flashed him a proud grin. I walked over to the tree and tried to pull the three arrows out, but they wouldn't budge. Daryl chucked at my attempts as he walked over, easily plucked them from the tree then handed them to me. "I'm going back inside. You can stay and practice if you want." He turned to walk back to the prison.

"You're going to leave me out here by myself?" he turned back and nodded like it was no big deal. "Um I'll go back inside with you. Besides, I can't get the arrows out of the tree." I said in explanation and he continued walking to the prison as I picked up the stringer and pulled the tack out of the tree. I stuck the things back into the bag and ran to catch up with him. We walked in comfortable silence until we reached the prison gait. He opened it, allowing me to walk in first, and then shut it behind us. "So my dad really said that I would be a natural?" I asked and he said that my father said that we had a long line of competition archers in our family. "Wow, I never knew that. I mean I watched my dad shoot every once in a while and I remember seeing bows at my grandfathers house, but I never knew that."

He just grunted in response as we entered the prison. Everyone was sitting around the table eating rabbit that my father had killed. I hadn't even seen him come in from the woods. "How'd archery lessons go?" Dad asked with a smile on his face.

"She's a natural just like you said." Daryl answered for me as he took his cross bow off and started putting meat on a plate. To my surprise he handed the plate to me then fixed another for himself. I didn't say anything, because if he was going to be nice enough to dish it up I was going to be nice enough to eat it. I sat down next to dad and started eating the bland meat. Did these people not know how to use salt and pepper? I didn't realize how hungry I was until I started eating and I quickly finished my plate. I sipped on the glass of water that sat beside my dad's plate and listened to everyone else talk.

Rick was talking about who should go with him to look for the cafeteria. It was finally decided that Maggie, Glenn, T-Dog, Daryl and Dad would be going. When everyone was finished eating the assigned group gathered their weapons and headed out. I kept my eyes on Dads back until it faded into the darkness of the hall and watched as Carl shut and locked the door behind them. I spent my time helping Lori and Beth fold the group's clothes. While doing so I found myself praying for not only the safety of Dad, but Daryl as well.

**A/N:** I'm sorry if the whole "Daryl gives a girl archery lessons" thing is over rated, but i had fun writing it because i actually do know how to shoot a compound and recurve bow. I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything but yeah. (I kinda thought that it would be different having her dad put her in the situation) I also appoligize if Daryl is being out of character, but in season three he seemes to have lightened up a bit and gotten use to being around people. Norman Reedus has said that he thinks that if Daryl ever does have a romantic relationship he would play it was awkward as possable, so i have no idea what Daryl would do in this situation. I just wrote it the best it could. Thanks for reading and please drop me a review.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

When the group returned they didn't come back alone. They were followed by five men, all former prisoners. I watched the men in the holding area from the main room. There was a really big black guy with a beard and kind eyes who had torn the sleeves off of his faded blue jumpsuit, another slightly smaller but still built black guy with a bald head who wore a hard look on his face, a short black guy who tried to mask the fear in his eyes with anger, a short white guy with shoulder length red hair and a handle bar mustache the last guy was a medium height, medium build white guy with a pony tale. I looked at the ponytail guy. He had on a white wife beater and had tied the upper half of his jumpsuit at his waist. I took in the way he stood looking between Rick and Daryl with his hand on the handle of a gun he had stuck in the folds of his uniform at his waist. Ponytail guy turned his head to look in the main room and his eyes locked on mine giving me a hard stare. I felt like I couldn't breathe. What I saw in his eyes wasn't anger, fear, or anything even close to kindness. It was something I had never seen in anyone's eyes before. A kind of crazy that couldn't be explained. He narrowed his eyes at me and tilted his head to the side. He broke the intense stare to look me up and down.

I took a step back and another sideways tucking myself behind my dad. Daryl whistled getting ponytail guy's attention and I leaned around my dad to see Rick, T-Dog and Daryl led them out of the holding area and out side. I stepped back around to look up at my dad with fear filled eyes. He rapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his hard side. I stiffened and dropped my eyes to the floor involuntarily at the contact and he noticed. "I'm not going to let them hurt you." If the thought my reaction was out of fear of the new men he was wrong. I did it because I had never been the hugging kind of person, side hugs included. The fact that I hadn't completely forgiven my father for his mistake and that he was now pledging to not let anyone hurt me added to my discomfort. But he was my father, I loved him and he was trying his best to make up for what he did. So as much as I wanted to pull away, I didn't.

I looked back up at my father's tanned, beard clad face then into his beady blue eyes. "You Promise?"

I immediately regretted asking, because he pulled me into a full on hug and kissed my forehead. "I Promise." He released me and I wiped at my forehead as I took a step back. "You're not supposed to wipe it off." He used to say the same thing when I would wipe his kisses off when I was little.

I gave him the same reply that I did back then. "Just rubbing it in dad." I walked over to stand next to Maggie and Glenn. The room was completely quiet and for some reason I couldn't stand it. So after a few minutes I broke it. "So do we know about these guys?" I asked looking around at the silent people.

Maggie was the one to answer me. "They have been locked up in the cafeteria for ten months. Big Tiny's the really big man, Oscar's the one with the bald head, Andrew is the short scrawny one, Axel's the red head and Tomas is the guy with the ponytail. He seems to think he is their leader." The room fell silent again as we all waited to see what was going to happen. The longer we waited the more nervous I got and I could tell other people, especially Lori and Carl, were as well.

They finally came back into the building. The prisoners looked more pissed now than they did when they went outside. Daryl kept his bow aimed on the men as Rick unlocked the gate, entered the main room and locked the gate behind him. He stopped in front of where our group was standing. "We are going to help them clear out a cell block. In return we get half of the food left in the cafeteria." Lori pulled him off to the side to speak to him privately.

I glanced up at the windows in the room and noticed that the light that was coming in was getting dim. It was then that I realized that these men where not going to have their own cell block tonight. Rick came back to the group and told us all that they would leave first thing in the morning and that the prisoners would be locked in their cells until then.

Rick went into the holding area and not long after the building was filled with angry voices. The prisoners where putting up a fight about having to sleep in cells. All the men in the cell where hollering at each other save two, Big Tiny and Oscar. They were just standing back watching the other men argue.

In the end the five men won. They where given sleeping bags and left outside. Rick and Daryl locked all the entrances to the building. We ate a meal of canned food from the prisons stock then we all headed to bed. I walked up the stares and Daryl was already lying down on his makeshift bed. "Night." He called as I walked past him and I said the same back with an awkward wave over my shoulder before I disappeared into my cell. I switched into some clean clothes before I went to bed. A pair of pink Nike athletic shorts and a black tank top. I climbed up the ladder, snuggled into the warm blankets and drifted off to sleep.

I opened my eyes and rubbed them sleepily. I climbed down off of the bed and was about to put a shirt on over my tank top when I heard someone clear their throat. I jumped, spun around and became face to face with none other than Merle. He had a grin on his face that reminded me of the Cheshire cat. He covered my mouth and slammed me against the wall causing pain to shoot through my back. I let out a yelp of pain against his hand. "Shut up bitch." He hissed before he removed his hand and replaced it with his nasty lips. I tried to shove him off of me but he wouldn't budge. I bit his lip causing him to back off. I bolted for the door but I wasn't fast enough. He caught me by my hair and pulled me backwards. He slammed me back against the wall and cut my clothes off with his bladed hand. He pushed me onto the bed, parted my clenched knees and covered my mouth before he slammed into me.

I sprang strait up in bed covered in a layer of sweat. My lungs started to burn before I was finally able to cough and inhale a deep raspy breath. I focused on steadying my breathing as I wiped at the tears on my face. I had been having nightmares, but that was the most vivid and the most different. My other dreams had been repeats of what happened at the bus. With my breathing completely under control I realized that it was still night time. I lay back down but I couldn't go back to sleep so I got down off of the bed and fumbled around until I found my small flashlight. I turned it on and stuck it under the strap of my bra to hold it in place then grabbed my knitting and got to work. I had finished several rows before I saw the outline of a man step into my doorway. "Daryl?" I whispered and he took a step into the room. "Is the light bothering you?" when he didn't answer I grabbed the light off of my shoulder and shined it on him. I gasped and dropped the flashlight; it fell onto the bed and illuminated Tomas as he advanced on me. I tried to scream when he snatched one of my dirty socks off of the floor and shoved it into my mouth muffling the sound as he held it in with his hand. I gagged as I pushed and scratched at him doing everything in my power to get him off of me.

He punched me in the face to stop my struggling then pushed me down making me lie on my back. With his free hand, he managed to push up my shirt and bra and started groping the medium chest that was underneath. He threw one of his legs over mine straddling me at my knees. Bad idea. I thrust my knee up as hard as I could making contact with his groin. He retracted his grip on me and I took that opportunity to use the adrenaline pulsing through my body to shove him onto the floor and spit the sock at him. I bolted across the perch waking Daryl, but I didn't stop running until I got to my dads cell. He woke up when I noisily crashed onto the floor next to his bed. "Bay what's wrong?" he asked crouching down in front of me and fixing my clothes. I couldn't answer. The adrenaline affect had worn off and all I could do was sit there shaking like a leaf as silent tears slid down my cheeks. "Bay look at me what happened?"

I ignored his question to look over his shoulder at Daryl who appeared in the main room. "You might want to get Rick." He said and my dad, still crouched, turned to look at him. Daryl had Tomas's hand tied behind his back and a knife pointed at the back of his throat.

"No need, I'm already here." I heard Rick's tired and annoyed voice as it drifted into the cell.

Dad ignored the moon illuminated men and turned back to me. "Bay I am so sorry. I promised you I wouldn't let them hurt you." He paused and lightly touched my sore cheek and eye. "I keep failing you."

Those words brought out mine. "It's not your fault Dad." I said wincing when pressed to hard on my cheek.

"Yes it is. I should have made you sleep in here so I could protect you." I looked at my hands where they rested on my knees. I wanted to tell him that I still wouldn't have slept in the same cell as him or anyone else for that matter, but I chose to keep that to myself to keep from making this conversation take a turn for the worst.

"Dad, I'm fine it's just a bruise." He didn't look convinced and neither was I, but I couldn't let my dad blame himself for this one. So I said the only thing that I could think of at the time. "What doesn't kill me can only make me stronger right?" he still didn't look convinced by my lame statement, but he stood up anyways and held out his hand for mine. I took it and he gently pulled me up. We walked out into the main area as Rick pulled a set of spare prison keys out of Tomas's pocket.

"So this is how you got in here huh?" Rick said pacing in front of Tomas. "Daryl, put his stupid ass in a cell and lock him there." Rick said tiredly then turned to my dad and tossed him the keys. "Those are yours now. Y'all have a good night." He turned and lazily walked to his cell and I heard him mumble "What's left of it." Under his breath before he disappeared into his cell which I noticed wasn't the same one his wife was sleeping in.

Daryl returned from the end of the cell block that no one sleeps on and headed up the stairs. "Night Dad." I said and patted him on the shoulder before I headed for the stairs.

"You're not bunking in here tonight?" he asked and I remembered his previous statement.

"Please don't take this personally because it's totally not, but I can't." He took it personally I could tell. "It's really nothing against you. I just…need some space." He gave me a quiet "Kay." And I turned to go up the stairs but stopped and turned back. "Hey dad?" he turned to face me. "I love you."

A smile pulled at the corners of his lips, "I love you to Bay Bug." I finally headed up the stairs and across the perch.

"Night." Daryl Said and I didn't answer. I was slightly mad at him, why hadn't he heard Tomas? The guy had to walk right by Daryl to get to me. I continued to my cell but stopped in the doorway when I saw the flashlight and balled up sock on the floor. Just like the bus I couldn't make myself enter the cell. "Problem?" Daryl asked from behind me, but I once again didn't answer him. Soon I felt his hands on my back and I couldn't stop him when he gave me a gentle push into the cell.

For some reason, instead of cringing away or crying, I got angry. I spun around and punched Daryl in the chest probably hurting my hand more than his solid chest, and it did hurt my fist. He didn't respond to the punch. "What the hell did you do that for?" I asked loudly and he shushed me. "Don't shush me answer me." I said bringing down my voice despite the anger that bubbled within me.

"It's just a cell." I just looked at him with my fists clenched at my sides. "And a bus is just bus." I remained quiet as I thought about it and the more I did the more I realized he was right. The objects and places don't hold the bad memories, I do. But that still didn't make me any less furious. We stood there in silence for what felt like forever, but in reality it was probably only two or so minutes. The anger that was boiling fiercely had settled to a simmer. The longer we stood there the more I thought about how Daryl was right outside my cell and Tomas managed to get to me so I blurted out the question that was plaguing my brain.

"Why didn't you stop him?" I said quickly and he looked confused.

"Who? Tomas?" he asked in that low gruff voice of his.

"No, the man on the moon." I said sarcastically. "Yes Tomas." he didn't answer so I continued talking. "He had to walk a foot away from your head to get to me and you didn't even wake up." He bit at his nails then spat on the floor.

"I ain't exactly a light sleeper." Was his only explanation.

"Great. Thanks. That makes me feel so much better." I spat at him and irately started gathering my things. I moved to push him out of my way as I headed out of the cell, but he moved giving me free passage. I walked out onto the perch and dumped my things in the corner farthest away from where Daryl's bed was. I walked back in the cell where Daryl still stood leaning up against the side of the bunks. I ignored him and grabbed the thin mattress on the bottom bunk. I gave it a hard pull and it hit the back of his knees making him stumble.

"What the hell you think your doin girl?" he asked a bit startled.

"Moving my bed to the perch. You have a problem with that?" I didn't care that I would be sleeping in the same space as Daryl. It would be far enough away from him for me to be comfortable. I just couldn't make myself sleep in that stupid cell or any of the others because they all looked the same. All small, gray, dirty and depressing.

"Yeah I do." He said grabbing the mattress stopping me from pulling it any father out of the cell than I already had.

"Deal with it." I spat back and pulled the mattress out of his grip and onto the perch. I was slightly surprised when he didn't make another move to stop me. I pulled the mattress to my designation in the corner and dropped it there. I turned to head back to my cell to grab my blanket and pillow and was met by Daryl with the second mattress from the cell. I watched him with my hands on my hips as he dropped it on top of the first one.

"Be more comfortable." He explained pointing at the mattress and I gave him a suspicious look.

"Thought you had a problem with me sleeping out here."

"Don't seem to be no stopping you. Might as well help." I let him leave it at that and went to get my blanket and pillow. I tossed the pillow on to the bed then spread the blanket out. Daryl had already crawled into bed but I could feel him watching me. I laid down and pulled the blanket over me. "Night." I heard him say when I got settled and comfortable with my back facing him.

"Whatever." I heard a quiet chuckle then the rustling if his blankets and he turned away from me. Despite not wanting to, for fear of more bad dreams, it was still good and dark out side and I quickly fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** hey guys so sorry for the long wait, but I was having a bit of writers block and plus there has been alot of family drama going on here lately. So I dont know how great this chapter is going to be. Please tell me what you think and Drop me a review.

**Chapter 9**

It felt like I had only been asleep for five minutes before I woke up in my usual style. I calmed myself and looked over to see Daryl putting on a sleeveless shirt. He cut his eyes over at me while buttoning it up. I wiped at the beads of sweat that had gathered on my head during my terror filled sleep and stood from my bed. I heard Daryl fiddling around with something while I made up my bed and once I was done I turned to see that he was sitting on his mattresses gluing new feathers to his arrows. He was paying no attention at all to me, which was a good thing. I had been getting way to much male attention here lately and having his eyes on me as well wouldn't help me any.

Thinking of this made me realize that my outfit was showing a bit too much skin. So I dug through the small piles of my clothes that Beth had washed for me and went to my cell to change. I replaced my pink shorts with a pair of faded dark wash jean capris, switched my black tank top with a white one and put a green and yellow plaid button up shirt over it. I left the shirt unbuttoned and slipped on my boots, put my knife on my belt, tucked my gun into my waist band at my back. I walked out of the cell expecting Daryl to be gone, but he was still gluing feathers onto arrows.

"Why haven't you gone after your brother?" I asked as I stood buttoning up my shirt in the doorway of my cell. He slowly turned to look at me then went back to fiddling with his arrows. I hadn't meant to ask the question, but I had been wondering for some time.

"I did. His trail went cold." He answered still looking at his work so I couldn't see his face. "Why do you care anyways?" I wasn't expecting him to ask me this question.

"I don't, but I couldn't help asking." I said with a shrug then escaped down the stairs to where my dad, Rick, T-Dog, Maggie and Glenn stood around the table talking. T-Dog, Maggie and Glenn all gaped at my face. "You're going to catch flies with your mouths hanging open like that." I said in joking manner that surprised all the people in the room, myself included. The smile I had on my face faded when I looked at my dad.

"How can you joke about this bay?" he asked with a stern fatherly tone.

"Because if I didn't I would die, literally" I answered with all seriousness. He was still frowning at me, but I ignored him and turned to Rick and T-Dog. "So what's the plan for today?" I asked mainly to change the subject. Hershel walked out of a nearby cell and over to me. He didn't say anything as he grabbed my chin and turned my face, examining it. "So is it as bad as it looks doc.?" I asked and he shook his head.

He pressed around on my eye socket making me wince. "Nothing feels broken; it's just bruised pretty bad. What happened?" he asked with narrowed eyes and I cut mine over at my dad and Rick. They both looked at me blankly.

"Tomas uh…well, he paid me a little visit last night." I said cautiously. "Let's just say he didn't get what he wanted." I added to clear it up a bit. Then threw in a question to lighten the mood. "What's worse a fist to the eyes or a knee to the nuts?" I added a little nervous laugh at the end. Hershel's lips pulled into a hint of a smirk.

"Probably the knee." He answered with a little laugh.

"Good, because this hurts like hell." I said with a laugh then turned back to Rick, Dad and the others. "Where is Tomas anyway?" I asked and they said he was still in the cell and would be until they had the other cell block cleaned out. "So what happens then? We are just going to set him free again? After what he did to me?" I asked getting more and more outraged as I spoke. Dad put his hand on my shoulder giving me a silent signal to calm down. Rick said that once the prisoners were in their own cell block that they would make sure that they never came near our side. I doubted that, but I wasn't going to stand there and argue with them. "Okay." I said before Daryl joined the group. Rick, Maggie, Glenn and Daryl all went outside to get the prisoners. Leaving myself and Dad alone in the room. "Why aren't you going with them?" I asked him and he replied that Rick had enough people going with him. I shrugged and sat down in an abandoned chair up against the wall. I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I waited for the group to be brought into the prison.

Once they were all inside, Rick retrieved Tomas. Rick didn't have Tomas restrained in anyway. He was just allowing him to stroll on through the cell block like it was nothing. As the two men walked by Tomas's eyes met with mine making my skin crawl. He licked his lips and winked at me before he looked away and walked into the holding area with the rest of the men. Rick and the others gave the prisoners a lesson in killing walkers. I left after I heard Tomas declare that no one had to tell them how to kill a man. I escaped to the perch and picked up my knitting in an attempt to calm the nerves that I had been fight to control all morning. I didn't know how I was supposed to live in this world. I was loosing hope before we found this place and what little I had left was shattered the day I met Merle.

It seemed like I had been targeted by dirty bad men since the world came to an end. First there was the guy from the crazy group that we met, then Merle and now Tomas. Knowing he would be living a cell block away from us was just too much to handle. I absent mindedly looked around the perch as I knitted, but stopped when my eyes landed on the arrows sticking out of my quiver where it was leaned against the wall. I set my knitting aside and crawled the short distance to it. I pulled one out then plopped back down leaning my back against the wall. I laid the tip in the palm of my hand examining the shiny metal point. I held it up and tapped the tip with the pad of my finger testing its sharpness. This action caused me to wince and suck on my finger where a drop of blood accumulated.

I took my finger out of my mouth to discover that my finger had stopped bleeding, and then started spinning the arrow in my fingers contemplating. "It would be so easy" I thought to myself, "to press the blade to my wrist and make a deep slit. No one would be able to save me this time." Once the vein was severed I would bleed out and leave this miserable world. "But Dad…" I loved him a lot, but he was a strong man and I was only holding him back. I pressed the sharp point to the blue line running down my wrist and pressed down. The red liquid of sweet release leaked down my arm and onto my capris. I started to panic. "Dad will be okay without me…right?" My hand started to shake and I lifted the pressure of the blade off of my wrist. I slammed the arrow and both my hands on the floor at my sides in anger and let my head fall forward as I squeezed my eyes shut. I could tell that the cut hadn't been deep enough to get the job done. "Damn it, I'm too much of a coward to even kill myself." I thought out loud.

I took a deep breath before I lifted my head up and looked at the jagged one inch cut on my wrist. It's hard to describe what I felt as I took in the feel of the warm blood sliding down my skin and dripping onto a puddle on my capris. I felt pissed at myself that I couldn't complete my original task, but I also felt a little bit of release and a strange comfort in the pain that was radiating from the gash. The bleeding eventually started slowing and the trail that was running along the side of my wrist had started to dry. I knew I couldn't let anyone see what I had just done or I would be bombarded with more questions and "are you okay's. So I got up, grabbed my canteen and the tank top from the night before, then pored some of the water onto the shirt and wiped the blood off of my arm and gently off of the new self inflicted wound.

Once it was clean I tore a piece off of the sheet that was on my bed and tied it around my wrist. It was to suspicious and wearing longs sleeves in this weather would be even more suspicious. So I dug through my bag until my hand landed on a cuff bracelet that I had found lying on the coffee table of an abandoned house we stayed the night at. It was actually really cool looking. It was black leather with a lighter band of light brown leather. In the center was a silver cross and on each side of that was flat silver studs. It wasn't my style and clashed with all of my clothes. It would have gone perfectly with the vest that Daryl was always wearing around. Looking back now I don't even remember why I picked it up, but now I was thankful for its secret keeping ability.

I then remembered the blood stain on my jeans. That was even more suspicious then the bracelet so I grabbed another pair of blue jean shorts and went to my cell to change. As soon as I stepped out of the cell I saw Dads head bobbing up and down as he walked up the stairs. "Hey kiddo, what you doing up here all by yourself?" he asked as he walked over and sat down on the floor across from me. I shrugged my shoulders and didn't reply. "Are you okay?" he asked with concern filling his voice. I pursed my lips and furrowed my brows and he realized what he had asked. "Sorry." I shook my head and looked down to my side. "Why don't you come down stairs and help Beth and Lori with the laundry?" he suggested more than asked. So to keep suspicion down I let him grab my hands and help me up. We had gotten to the bottom of the stairs before he noticed the bracelet. "Where'd you get that?" he asked holding up my wrist examining it.

I pulled my wrist out of his hand and walked over to where Lori and Beth sat with wash boards and buckets of water. "It's just something I found at one of the houses we stopped at." I answered casually. Then sat down on the stool that was next to one of the buckets of water then picked up the wet soapy clothes that was in a bucket and started rinsing them. I watched as my dad sat talking with Hershel and Carl. The mood around the prison seemed to be on the lighter side considering that we were going to have ex cons living in the same area as us. The men sat talking while Lori and Beth was chit chatting. I sat passively by not really paying automation to what they were talking about. As I sat watching the men I noticed that Carl would glance over at Beth every once in a while with this little smirk on his face. He did it again and this time Beth saw him and gave him a small smile in return. I quietly laughed out loud at the two. "What's so funny?" Lori asked with a small smirk on her face when she noticed my laugh.

"Oh, uh…" I glanced at Beth who was looking down at her washing, but it didn't keep me from seeing the blush that was on her cheeks. "Nothing." Lori smirked at me before we both looked back down at our work. It was quiet before I broke the silence. "So when are you due Lori?" I asked just to break the awkwardness but it ended up making it worse.

"Any time now." She answered with hidden fright tainting her voice. My attempt at socializing only made things worse.

"Oh" was the only response I could muster and I looked back down at my work letting the other two women eventually pick up their conversation and I stayed out of it.

Hours later after we washed, rinsed, rang out, then hung the close over the rails of the upper floors to dry Rick and the others came back without the prisoners. This didn't make me any less ill at ease. "They are in their own cell block and I can assure you we wont be having any problems with those three anymore." Rick announced at Dad asked the question that came to my mind before I could ask it.

"Three? I thought there were five of them. What happened?" he asked sounding uneasy.

"They were stupid and didn't listen to directions so they got bit. Its just Axel, Oscar and Tomas left." He said matter-of-factly then he and Lori went into the holding area to talk in private.

"So is it safe to go outside now? I'm sick of being cooped up in this building." I stated and Maggie answered that it should be but I would have to talk to Rick about it. As soon as Rick got back I asked him. He said that it was safe, but if I was going beyond the fences that he would prefer that I have someone with me. I agreed to that, because after everything that had happened to me it was only reasonable. I went up to my cell and grabbed my bag. I stuffed clean under things and my one bottle of shampoo into it then threw it over my shoulder. My hand absently touched my knife and gun before I headed down stairs.

"I'm going to take a bath." I announced once I was on ground level and looked around at the people in the room. I really didn't want anyone to come with me, but there was still danger out there and anything could happen and on top of that was Rick's instructions to have someone go with us. I looked around for my dad but he wasn't there. "Where's my dad?" I asked and Maggie replied that he and Daryl had gone hunting. Great now who was I going to take with me? "Okay, well who is going to come with me? I'm not allowed to leave the prison grounds alone." I asked and no one spoke up. "Fine I'll go by myself. What else could possibly happen to me?" I said before I headed for the doors with my bag over my shoulder.

"Oh for Pete's sake." I heard someone say behind me and I turned around to see Rick walk after me. "If you insist on going right now then I'll go with you." I raised my eyebrows at him in astonishment.

"Fine. You have already seen me in my birthday suit anyways." I said and I could have sworn that I saw Lori give him a look of astonishment before we walked out of the door. We walked in comfortable silence until we got to the gaits that let cars in and out of the prison.

"So what's your favorite type of music?" he asked completely throwing me off.

"What?" I asked with a confused voice.

"What's your favorite type of music?" he asked again like it was the most simple question.

"Country. Why?" I responded still confused as to why he was asking me that.

"Just trying to get to know you." He answered with a blank voice.

"Hmm, okay." I said pensively. "Well if you want to get to know me then I don't think you should be asking about what kind of music I like. Especially considering that I don't even listen to music anymore." He didn't say anything in response so I continued talking. "Why do you want to get to know me anyway?" I asked and I took him a while to answer the question.

"Well, as the self appointed leader of this group I like to know who I'm leading. The group I'm in isn't just my group, we are like a family." He was quiet for a while as we walked to the spot where he saved me. "And I'd like to welcome you into it." He said sincerely.

I thought about it for a while then decided that it wouldn't hurt anything if I told him a little bit about myself. "Okay, you have me sold. What do you want to know?" I asked and he seemed a bit surprised that I agreed to talk to him. We arrived at our destination and he turned his back to me. I started undressing then grabbed my shampoo out of my bag then jumped into the water not wanting to tiptoe my way in. I involuntary let out a squeal when the cold water engulfed my body.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked with a concerned voice and I turned around in the water to see that he had turned to face me.

"Yeah." I answered shakily adjusting to the cold water. Once he had gotten an answer he turned back around giving me privacy. Then he started asking questions and my body started adjusting to the water temperature

"So how old are you?" he asked and I told him that I was either twenty of twenty one. I didn't know what month it was but my birthday was in February. "did you have a job?" I answered with a no. "College?" another no. "Okay, so what did you do then?" he asked sounding a little exhausted at the fact that he really hadn't learned anything about me. I ducked my head under the water and ran my fingers through my hair rinsing out the shampoo. The cool water felt good on my bruised face so I took my time with the task at hand. I eventually came up for air and when I did I was face to face with Rick. I screamed out of reflex of being so unexpectedly close to some one.

"What are you doing?" I yelled as I swam backwards away from him splashing him in the face as I did. Once I was as far away from him that I dared to get I noticed that he was still fully clothed and wore a look of worry on his face.

"You scared the shit out of me." He exclaimed then started swimming away from me talking as he did. "I thought you were trying to kill your self again." His back was to me, but I could hear the shakiness of fear and maybe even sadness in his voice. This for some reason shocked me and I didn't know what to say. He turned to face me when he realized I wasn't going to say anything back. "Look I didn't mean to scare you, but you are depressed and you have tried to kill yourself before." He said and I still didn't know what to say to him.

So I started swimming to the water line and he turned his back so that I could get out of the water. I dried off and started putting on my clothes. I had gotten my underwear on a matching pink and green bikini panties and push up bra set, when I found words. "Just so you know, I wasn't trying to kill myself." He turned around then quickly turned back. "I don't care if you look at me. Like I said you have already seen me naked." I said but he kept his back to me. I don't know why I trusted him so much, but I did. "I guess I should thank you." I said with a sigh and pulled my tank top over my head then pulled on my pants. "Okay you can look now." I said while sliding my belt through the loops and making sure the knife that was still at my hip before I buckled it.

"What's with the bracelet?" he asked randomly as I grabbed my button up shirt off of the ground.

His question made me nervous and I think he could tell. "Um…it's just something I found at one of the houses my dad and I stopped at." I explained as he eyed me suspiciously.

"It looks familiar for some reason. Have you worn it before?" he asked and I shook me head not trusting my words. He walked over and grabbed my wrist and when he did his thumb put pressure on the cut and I winced. He suspicious look turned into a suspicious glare. Leaned slightly away from him and tried to stop him when he undid the snaps and revealing the white cloth that was underneath. "Bay what is this?" he asked with what I could only figure was disappointment in his eyes.

"I uh…" I couldn't finish the sentence because he interrupted me.

"What are you thinking?" he asked raising his voice. "Do you really want to do this to your father? Do you know what you not only dieing but choosing to leave him would do to him? Do you think that he would be able to just move on like you are nothing to him?" he asked and I stumbled away from him before becoming completely frozen. Actually what he said is exactly what I had thought. Dad had gotten over mom and he could get over me. It took a minute for me to find my words but eventually I did.

"He would be better off without me." I said standing up for myself for once in my life. "All I do is hold him back." Rick looked at me like I was crazy.

"No he wouldn't. He loves you and you are the only family he has left in the shitty world." He paused to take a breath. "He wouldn't be able to live without you. Don't you get that?"

"How do you know? You barely even know him." I accused putting my hands on my hips and he once again looked at me like I was stupid.

"No I don't know him, but I can see how much he loves you and I know what I would do if something were to happen to Carl." He said and I took in his words letting them sink in. He was right. Dad hadn't gotten over mom. He had started drinking because we lost her. Rick was probably right about what dad would do if he lost me to. I had never felt more stupid than I did at that moment and I felt my eyes start to water. "Do you finally understand?" he asked and I could only nod as I blinked back tears. "Are you going to continue to try and kill yourself?" he asked with sincerity filling his voice.

I shook my head causing my wet waves to slap me in the face. "No." I said and he gave me a small smile. He surprised me by pulling me into his arms and hugging me. My first reaction was to push him away, but I didn't. I couldn't explain it but his hug felt nice. I don't know if it was because he had managed to gain my trust or if it was because I knew he wouldn't try anything because he was a good man who was married. Without thinking about it I wrapped my arms around his waist hugging him back. We stayed like that for three or so seconds before he slowly released me putting his hand on my shoulders. "Can I have my bracelet back? I really don't want dad asking questions about my wrist?" I asked and he handed it back to me. I put it back over the blood stained cloth then closed the snaps. He stood in place as I gathered my things then we slowly started walking back to the prison.

We had been walking in silence for a while and were nearing the edge of the woods when a question flooded quickly from my mouth before I could stop it. "Why do men target me?"

"Huh?" Rick stopped walking and looked at me in confusion.

I stopped to stand right in front of him. "Why do rapist men target me?" I repeated the question deciding that Rick would be the best man to ask. He gave it some thought before he answered.

"Don't take this like I'm hitting on you, because I'm not, but you are very attractive." He answered keeping his eyes on mine and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks.

"You're lying." I accused meekly and looked at the ground.

"I wouldn't lie about something like that." He said defending himself and I looked up at him.

"What the hell is so _attractive_ about me?" I asked in disgust. "My hair is an unruly mess half of the time, I'm flabby from where I used to be fat, my eyes are to big for my face and now I have a very big bruise on my face." I gestured to my face. "Yeah real attractive." I said mockingly then turned to walk away from him. He caught my hand in his and pulled me back to face him. I let out an aggravated breath and looked at him with glaring eyes. His hand remained in mine and I pulled it away. "Don't pity me Rick, I don't need it." I said in an exasperated breath and turned to walk away but was once again stopped with his hand on mine and I turned back to him.

"I do not pity you." He said it quietly with my hand still in his and this time I didn't try to pull it away. "And your hair and eyes are some of the most attractive things about you." He said and I could tell he sincerely meant it. I self consciously glanced at a stray strand that was hanging in my face and Rick tucked it behind my ear. He moved his hand around letting it rest on my face and even though I knew it was wrong I reveled in the soft un-harsh touch. The next thing I knew his soft lips had pressed to mine engulfing me in a soft kiss. I had never had a man be so gentle and I couldn't stop myself from practically falling into his arms. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck was unaware that I was walking backwards until I had my back against a tree.

This unexpected force brought me back down to earth and I shoved Rick hard forcing him off of me. "Rick what are you doing?" I asked breathily still leaning against the tree as he stood a few feet away from me. I was suddenly outraged. "You have a wife, a son and a baby on the way. Are you a cheating husband? Is that your down fall?" I asked getting more and more angry with him and myself for letting him get so close to me.

"Bay I…" he stared to walk toward me but I interrupted him and started walking briskly towards the prison.

"No, I don't want to hear it." I spat at him as I continued to the prison. He jogged up behind me and I could feel his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it away and turned to face him. "Don't touch me, don't talk to me, and don't even look at me. End of discussion." I said and turned my back on him for a final time.

Rick followed quietly behind me as we made our way through the prison gaits and across the field. I had a reign on my fury by the time we reached the prison and I walked in to see everyone including my dad and Daryl sitting around one of the tables. When they saw that Rick and I had entered the building the crowd around the table parted so show I beat up Axel and Oscar sitting at the table. The tension in my stomach that had never really subsided got worse and I felt like I might be sick.

**A/N:** so... what'd you guys think? I would also just like to say thank you to all the people who are reading my story :-).


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"What took y'all so long?" Lori asked with wide eyes taking in the fact that he was wet from head to toe. "And why are you wet?" Here eyes darted over to me and I saw veiled mistrust in them before they darted back to Rick who started to explain what happened.

To his credit, he told her the truth, but left out what had happened between us and what lie beneath my cuff bracelet. I was thankful that he didn't take my rejecting him out on me by yelling to everyone what I had tried to do. I saw Daryl looking at my bracelet with squinted eyes but I brushed it off as him just admiring it.

Lori, despite the truth of his story, didn't seam to believe him and I couldn't blame her. I felt bad that I was only adding to what ever problems that they were having. Then I remembered that I hadn't done anything wrong. It was him who advanced on me, not the other way around. "So what are they doing here?" I asked taking everyone's attention off of Rick and me and to the two battered men sitting at the table. Rick walked away from where he stood next to Lori and around to the prisoners as Daryl started telling us what happened.

"They say that Tomas beat the shit out of them." Daryl said in a tone that suggested that he didn't believe them. I on the other hand did. Tomas was the violent type. "The showed up at our gait asking for help." He chewed at his nails before he continued to speak. "And that Tomas left the prison and left them for dead." He paused his speech and looked straight at Rick. "I don't believe them."

"Please you have to believe us." Axel pleaded with what sounded like a half country half gangster accent if that makes any since. "I'm not a bad person. I just like my pharmaceuticals is all." He said with pleading eyes. With him being from the same group as Tomas I should have felt that he and Oscar should be banished from the prison and made to go through everything that we had in the past months. But as I looked at Axels eyes I realized that this man was nothing like Tomas. He had kind naturally smiling eyes that projected everything that was going through his head. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve; he wore it in his eyes.

After coming to the conclusion that Axel wasn't a bad man I looked at Oscar. His face was hard as stone and he never said a word unless it was to tell the ever rambling Axel to shut up. His eyes were as hard as his face, but I couldn't find anything terrible in them either. But I couldn't forget that these men were in here for a reason. They were not to be trusted. The two had requested to stay here incase Tomas came back to finish them off, but Rick, thankfully, refused. After Hershel checked them for injuries they were sent on their way and the gait was locked behind them. A small part of me was relieved that Tomas was gone, but another part of me realized that be could easily get his hand on another set of keys, break in here and take what he wanted in the first place.

It was late when all the commotion with axel and Oscar was finally over. We all decided to go out into the yard to cook the rabbits and squirrel that Daryl and Dad had killed earlier that day. I had followed Beth to where they had been keeping some of the food from the prison stock and when she asked me what I needed I picked up a can of Creole seasoning and shook it making sure it wasn't clumped up. She looked at me funny. "What? You people need to learn to season your food. Plus it really improves the taste of the gamey meat." I said in explanation and she smirked at me.

When we all got to where the fire had been started I tossed the can to Lori who gave me a questioning look. "Rub it on the meat before you put it on the pit." I explained and she set it down on the ground. I sat at the fire watching her put more wood onto the fire. She picked up a piece of the meat out of the bowl it was in and was bout to poor the seasoning on it when I spoke up. "Don't put too much. That stuff is spicy." I said and she shot me a look. I didn't know if I was aggravating her or if she just didn't like me, but I wasn't going to let her over spice the food. The pored the seasoning on the CD sized piece of meat and I involuntarily made a sound of disapproval because she had done the opposite of what I had just said and put to much. She glanced up at me then back to the meat. "It's easier to control how much to put on it if put some of it in the palm of your hand then sprinkle it on the meat with your fingers." I explained.

She let out an aggravated breath. "Do you want to do this?" she asked raising her voice in irritation and everyone sitting around the fire turned their attention to us. "Seriously, if you think you can do a better job than I can then do it." He held the bowl of meat and seasoning over to me. I was stunned with the rest of the people, but it was quickly replaced with anger.

"Fine." I said glaring at her challengingly. "I will." I stood up and took the bowl from her and she moved to sit near Rick and Carl. Once she sat down she continued to glare at me, but Rick leaned over and said something to her that I couldn't make out and she stopped. I looked away to see people looking at me. My dad had a small smirk on his face and made a motion for me to continue cooking. So I did. I seasoned all the meat and put it on the pit then sat down giving it time to cook on that side before I needed to flip it over and let the other side cook.

When it was done I dished it up into plates and walked around handing them to everyone. Mote people's faces were indifferent, but Daryl who was sitting near my dad gave me a small smile and a thank you, as did my dad. Everyone started eating in silence and Lori tried to hide the fact that she liked my cooking. Maggie was the first person to tell me that it was really good and Beth said that it was way better than the unseasoned stuff that was usually cooked then gave Lori an apologetic look. Then soon after everyone else voiced their positive opinions and Daryl said that I should be the cook from now on.

I smiled at him and continued eating my food. Once everyone was done we all just sat around enjoying the cool breeze that was blowing. When the conversation about mundane things calmed and no one seamed to have anything else to talk about Hershel suggested that Beth sing something and she started singing a song I had never heard before. As she sang Maggie joined in and the two voiced combined to make the most pleasing sound I had heard in a long time. When the song ended everyone stayed quiet before Hershel spoke up and said that it was beautiful and Glenn rubbed Maggie's knee lovingly. I felt a tinge of jealousy run through me when I looked at the two. They were so happy together and I envied them. I felt a nudge at my side and I looked at my dad. "Sing something." He suggested and I looked at him like he was crazy.

"No." it didn't come out of my mouth as firm as I had meant for it to and he gave me another playful nudge.

"Come on, you used to sing all the time, when you thought no one could hear." I blushed and looked down at my feet. That was the point I had never wanted to let anyone hear me and I always did it in private. He had caught the attention of the group and everyone was looking at me. "You're good." He promised me, but I told him no again.

"Why not?" Maggie asked and I gave her a pleading look that she ignored. "I would like to hear you sing."

"Yeah, me to." Beth said and I sighed when I looked at her. I didn't say anything as I looked around the fire looking for someone that didn't want me to sing, but even Rick looked like he wanted me to.

"Well?" Rick said catching my attention and I looked at him. "Are you going to sing?" he asked and gave me a small smile.

I sighed and looked at my dad. "Fine." I said exaggeratedly and he smiled at me. They all gave me suggestions on what I should sing, but I didn't know half of the songs they suggested and the others where just not what I felt like singing. So I finally told them that I came up with something. My heart started racing as they all looked at me expectedly and my dad encouraged me to start. So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and started to sing.

"Everybody's waitin', everybody's watchin'. Even when you're sleepin' keep you ey eyes open." I opened my eyes to look and the group's reaction. None of them seamed to hate my voice so I continued. "The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children playing soldiers just pretending. Dreaming dreams with happy endings. In back yards winning battles with our wooden swords, but now we've stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands and keeps score. Keep your eyes open. Everybody's waiting for you to break down everybody's watching to see the fall out, even when you're sleepin' sleepin' keep your ey eyes open. Keep you ey eyes open." I looked at dad to see him smiling at me. I think he had head me sing this song before. "So here you are two steps ahead and staying on guard. Every lesson forms a new scar they never thought you'd make it this far. But turn around oh they've surrounded you it's a showdown and nobody comes to save you now, but you've got something they don't. Yeah you've got something they don't. You just gotta keep your eyes open" I continued the song until it was over and everyone just stared at me with open mouths and I started to think I sucked.

Just when I was about ready to burry my face in my hands in shame T-dog spoke up. It was the first time he had spoken to me and it surprised me a bit. "That was amazing." He offered and everyone followed his lead in giving me compliments. The compliments were nice, but all but the mean looks Lori kept sending me were not. So I thanked them for all the kind words but told them that I would be turning in for the night. I had gotten up and turned my back on the fire when Rick reminded me that no one was allowed to be anywhere alone. So I turned around and looked at the group waiting for one of them to get up and follow me. I was expecting my dad to come with me but Daryl stood up instead.

I was slightly disappointed that Dad hadn't been the first to get up, but I guessed Daryl would do. I turned and started walking through the high grass and I could hear Daryl doing the same behind me. Soon he was at my side. "You really are a good singer you know." He said and I shrugged it off as I opened the door. He caught it and held it open for me to go in first and I did. We made our way up to the perch by the dim moonlight. Once I was up the stairs I went to my cell and changed into my pink shorts and removed the button up shirt. The cool night air felt good on my skin as I walked back on to the perch. Daryl was already lying in bed, but I could tell by his breathing that he wasn't asleep.

The way Lori was treating me was getting on my nerves, but it only flamed my curiosity of what exactly was going on between the not so happily married couple. I was lying in my bed on my back with the blankets pulled up around my chin. No one else had come into the building and I was finding it hard to fall asleep. "You still awake?" I asked quietly and Daryl gave me grunt letting me know he was. "What's going on between Rick and Lori?" I asked turning on my side and propping my head up on my hand so I could look at him.

"Why is that any of your business?" he asked and I could see his eyes squinting at me. I remained quiet because I couldn't give him an answer to that without telling him what had happened in the woods earlier. "Why are you wearing my brother's bracelet?" he asked in a rush and my eyes widened as I asked him what he was talking about. "That's my brother bracelet." He said once again but I still didn't understand.

"This isn't your brothers. I found it at a house that my dad and I stopped at one night." I explained.

"It's his." He paused and ran his hand through his hair messing it up. "He made it himself." He explained and I looked at the bracelet in the moonlight. "If it's his, and I'm pretty sure it is, his initials will be stamped on the inside." I flipped over turning my back to Daryl and undid the snaps of the bracelet. There it was plain as day. Imprinted with black ink in the middle of the inside of the bracelet were the letters M.D. I turned over not caring that he would see the bloodstained cloth tied around my wrist and flung it at him. Our expressions remained blank as he picked it up and looked at it. "Told you." He said smugly and tossed it back at me.

I picked it up with the hand it was once on and something in Daryl's face changed when he saw what it had been hiding. I expected him to go off on me like Rick had, but he didn't. What ever emotion was on his face was quickly replaced by his usual blank look. I looked at the bracelet then tossed it back to Daryl. "I don't want it." He took it and tossed it aside.

"Why did you ask about Lori and Rick?" he asked and I let out a sigh. I was hoping he would let that go.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked and he told me he wasn't going to make any promises. I figured if I was going to trust anyone with this Daryl would be the best one. I couldn't tell dad, because that would just create tension between them and we didn't need that right now. I sighed and ran my fingers through my messy hair. "Rick kissed me." I confessed and Daryl just stared at me. "I asked because I needed to know if he had a history of cheating on her." I said and he remained quiet.

I thought he wasn't going to speak at all but he finally did. "As far as I know Rick has never cheated on her." He said in a low voice like he was afraid someone would hear. "She cheated on him with his best friend." He explained. "But in her defense she thought Rick was dead when she did it." He said and I looked at him.

"Oh." Was all I could manage to say and we were quiet for a while. It was peaceful, being able to just lie there on my bed in cool silence. After thinking about it for a while I decided to test Daryl and ask him the same thing I had asked Rick that led to him kissing me. I didn't want Daryl to kiss me I just needed to know that there was at least one man in this prison, other than my father, that I could trust.

I couldn't tell if he was still awake. "Hey Daryl?" I asked and he hummed groggily letting me know he was listening. "Why do men keep trying to get in my pants?" I expected him to turn onto his side and looked at me, but he didn't move. "I mean do I come off as some easy slut?" I asked and he still didn't answer. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. My best guess was that it was a good thing because he hadn't made any advances.

Hell he hadn't moved a muscle since I asked him and I couldn't even hear him breathing. He sounded pretty out of it when he hummed to me earlier so I came to the conclusion that he had just fallen asleep and hadn't even heard my question. So I turned away from him and was about to fall asleep when I heard his gruff voice float over to me. "You're pretty."

I snorted. "Yeah that's what Rick said." I said sarcastically. "He also tried to get in my pants." I added and I heard the rustling of him turning over so I did the same. We were laying on our mattresses, which were about eight or so feet apart, facing each other. I had my head propped up on my hand and he simply had his head lying on a pillow that his arm was tucked under. We were both up to our necks in blankets.

"I'm not trying to get in your pants." He said matter-of-factly. "You asked a question and I gave you an answer."

I snorted once again. "I am not pretty." I said with a disgusted look on my face.

"Yeah you are." He argued and something about the way he said it almost made me believe it.

"What's so pretty about me?" I asked and it took him a while to answer which gave me the impression that I had been right and he couldn't come up with an answer. I was about to turn back over when I answered me.

"Your eyes." He paused and I could have sworn that he sounded bashful underneath the hard gruffness of his voice. "Your hair's pretty to." He added quietly.

I couldn't bring myself to disagree with him, but I still wouldn't except that as a valid answer as to why every man I came near thought he could just take what he wanted from me. "I'm pretty. So what. Beth and Maggie are pretty but I didn't see Tomas or Rick go after them." I said realizing as I said it that it was true.

"Maggie has Glenn and never leaves his side. And Beth has her dad at her side." He sand that still didn't explain why Rick didn't go after Beth. She seamed to be meeker than me.

"So I have my dad just like Beth does." I said defending myself.

"Yeah, but you don't let strangers know that he is your dad. If they did they wouldn't mess with you, but they don't."

"Rick knows he's my dad." I countered.

"Rick isn't afraid of him." He paused as if to think about something. "Now that I think about it you don't even act like Sean is your dad when other people are around." He said and I now realized Rick hadn't been around the few time I had shown my dad affection. I didn't know what to think about how this conversation was turning out.

"Okay, so your saying that if I make myself look ugly," I paused and added "Even though I already am." Under my breath. "And spend more time with my dad and let people know that I have a man to protect me that people will leave me alone?" I asked.

"Yeah I guess that's what I'm saying." He said before he let out a big yawn and turned onto his back. About that time I heard the squeak of the doors opening and the murmuring of them talking. I assumed that meant that mine and Daryl's conversation would be over. And I realized that Daryl had passed the test.

"Thanks" I said loud enough for only him to hear.

"For what?" he asked tiredly making me realize that it was probably really late.

"Not trying to get in my pants like Rick did when I asked him that question."

"No problem." He said and he let out a sigh. "But you might want to work on not showing weakness like that. Other people ain't as nice as me." He said then followed it up with the rustling of his bed as he turned over and got comfortable. "Night." He said and I turned over making myself comfortable.

"Night." I said before I drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I once again woke up and sat straight up in bed. The only thing that made this time any different was that for once I wasn't covered in sweat. It was still early and Daryl was still asleep so I figured no one else was awake either. It would be pointless to be the first one up so I lay back down and enjoyed the alone time. So Lori cheated on Rick. Was it his intention to use me to get back at her? I hated the fact that he would use me like that. What made everything worse was the fact that I like his kiss. It was so unlike the other kisses that I had received from everyone else. His kiss was sweet, tender and kind where as all the other kisses had been harsh and forced making my chapped lips crack and bleed from the force. If I hadn't known that Rick had a family, I might have believed everything he said.

But he did have a family and he lied to me just to get back at his wife so that qualified him as a pig in my book. I heard some one stirring about down stairs and was about to get up when I heard Daryl grunt as he woke up. "Morning." I said when he turned over meeting my open eyes. And he grunted back sleepily. I got up and grabbed some clothes to change into then went to my cell. I put on a pair of tattered jeans and an old black Cross Canadian Ragweed t-shirt then put on my belt and tucked my gun into the back of my jeans. I grabbed my boots and sat down on my bed to put them on. I hadn't bothered to brush my hair knowing that it would only make it frizzy, so it hung in waves around my face.

I got up and was about to step down the first stair when Daryl's voice drifted to my ears. "Thought you were going to try to look ugly." He said. And I turned to give him a questioning look. "Your hair is pretty like that." He said looking down as he tied his shoes so I couldn't see his face. "Put it up or somethin." I was tempted to ignore him and go down stairs anyway, but I didn't. I went to my cell, ran a brush through my hair then pulled it up into a low bun. Daryl was gone when I left the cell and I found him sitting at a table with Dad and the rest of the group minus Lori.

I had made sure I kept my injured wrist behind my back and out of sight. "Um, Hershel, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked and he gave me a weird look before he got up and walked me to his cell. He asked me what he could help me with and I held my wrist out to him. He gave me another look before he gently untied the cloth. I hadn't taken it off since I first made the cut and I soon understood why it had been so tender when Rick had put pressure on it before. When the fabric was removed the cut looked ten times worse. Hershel let out an exaggerated sigh, but to my surprise he didn't ask me how I had gotten it. He simply cleaned it and put a sterile bandage on it that I would have a very hard time hiding from my father and everyone else. "Thank you." I said and he told me it was no problem, but to please not do that again. So I didn't have to tell him how it happened; he already knew. I was looking at him as we exited his cell and I ran right into Rick. "Sorry I wasn't watching where I was going." I explained and he said that it was alright.

The three of us walked back to the group where a pot of unflavored oatmeal sat in the middle of a table. I was about to grab a bowl when Rick stopped me and asked if he could speak with me for a moment. I wanted to tell him no, because if I went with him it would only make Lori hate me more, but if I didn't it would make the others suspicious. So I said I would and I nonchalantly kept my hand on my knife as we walked outside and to the metal benches that overlooked the basketball court. He sat down on them, but I remained standing off to the side with my hands on my hips. "I thought I told you to never speak to me again." I said coolly and his eyes darkened.

"You did." He agreed. "But I thought you should know some things." He was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees.

"Like what? The fact that Lori cheated on you with your best friend? I already know that." I said in the smartass tone I was getting good at using. What looked like sadness flashed through his eyes before it was replaced with a coldness that I hadn't seen in him before.

"Who told you?" he asked. I shrugged and kept my mouth closed. I wasn't going to bring Daryl into this mess. "I guess it really doesn't matter." He confessed and I suddenly realized something. The only man in this group that could qualify as Rick's best friend was Daryl. When Daryl wasn't hunting with my dad he was around Rick helping him lead or whatever. This confused me, because I could never picture snooty Lori sleeping with a rough redneck like Daryl.

"Okay not that it really matters to me, but Lori slept with Daryl?" I asked scratching my head in confusion.

"What?" he asked with an astonished look that led me to believe I guessed wrong. "No. Lori never slept with Daryl." He said with a sigh and ran his hand through his hair smoothing it back. "What all did who ever you talk to tell you?"

"Just that when all of this began and Lori thought you were dead she had sex with your best friend. And sorry if I was wrong, but it looks like Daryl is your best friend." I said getting distracted from the fact that I didn't want to talk to him in the first place. Talking like this felt normal and I sat down on the bottom bench so that I was sitting in front of him. He went on to tell me everything that had happened between him, Lori and Shane. "So where is Shane now?" I asked.

He swallowed hard and looked off into the distance. "I killed him." I jumped up off of the bench and stumbled away from him. "Please don't do that." He said looking at me with strained eyes. "Don't act like I'm a murder."

"Why shouldn't I? You just told me that you killed your best friend." I said with wide eyes and backed up to the pole that held the basket ball goal.

"He wasn't my best friend anymore. He was something else, something evil and manipulative. If I hadn't killed him I would be the one dead right now. He would have Lori and who knows where this group would be right now." He said and there was something in the pained look in his eyes that made me believe him. I made my self walk closer to him and I think that that surprised him because he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Okay so why did you want me to know all of this?" I asked still a bit frazzled about the whole thing.

"I really don't know now that I think about it. I guess I thought that it would explain why I kissed you yesterday, but I guess it really doesn't." I couldn't think I was just asking question as they came to me and not thinking about what the answers might be.

"So why did you kiss me yesterday?" he didn't seam surprised by my question.

"I don't know."

"Was it to get back at Lori maybe?" I asked and he shook his head. "There has to be a reason, but I don't care what it is." He gave me a look that seamed to ask why. "You have a family, Rick, and y'all have stuck together this long. I'm not going to let you just throw it all away like that. Especially on me. I'm not worth it. Lori loves you, I can tell by the horrible looks she has been shooting me since you came back from the woods with me." I paused my ranting to take a breath. "She is having your baby. Rather you believe it is yours or not is irrelevant. She said it's your's so it is your responsibility to make up with her and put your family back together."

"I don't think she wants me back." He looked at his shoes. "Not after what I did."

"Have you tried talking to her?" I asked even thought the question sounded stupid to me and he shook his head slowly. "Try. The worst she can tell you is no, but at least then you will both know that you tried to make it right." He said he would and we started walking back to the prison. "Jeeze, when did I become a freaking shrink?" I said under my breath before I opened the door and Rick chucked behind me as I opened it.

Lori glared at me. Oops, guess making her husband laugh wasn't exactly a good move. I ignored her and went to the pot of oatmeal that was still lukewarm and spooned me some into a blue plastic bowl then sat down beside my dad. He eyed my wrist as I ate, but didn't say anything. If he wasn't going to ask I wasn't going to tell. "Do you want to go hunting with me today?" Dad asked and I gave him a questioning look.

"Really? You want me to go hunting with you?" I asked in suspicion. "You never want me to go hunting with you."

"Well I'm not going to be around forever you know. Even if I die of old age you need to learn to fend for yourself." After giving what he said some thought as I ate I agreed to go with him. I put my bowl with the other dirty dishes and headed to the door, but dad stopped me. "Go get your bow."

"What?" I asked with a confused face. "I can hardly hit a tree much less a moving target." I said but he insisted that I bring it so I ran up stairs and grabbed my bow, quiver, and other accessories then headed back down the stairs and over to my dad who was standing by the door. He gave me time to get the bow strung and arm guard on before he left the buildings and headed into the woods.

We had been in the woods for a while and we hadn't seen a thing so I didn't surprise me when my dad stopped walking and propped himself up against a tree. I guess we were just going to wait quietly for the food to come to us. "What's with the bandage?" I jumped when he spoke breaking the silence of the woods.

"Um, I uh." I was stumbling for words because I really didn't want to tell him about it.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I wish you would." He paused and I didn't say anything. "You know you can trust me right?" I nodded my head. "Then why aren't you talking to me?" he looked sad. I hadn't meant to push him away, but I didn't feel like letting anyone in.

"Because I don't want you to get mad at me." It was the best explanation I could come up with.

"I won't get mad at you. No matter what is under that bandage or how it got there." He said and I could tell he meant every word. I could feel my eyes getting watery.

I kept my eyes on the ground in shame. "I was going to cut my wrists and let myself bleed out."

"Suicide? Really?" his tone wasn't angry but I could tell that it was bubbling right below the surface. "You would leave me, just like that?"

I looked up as a single tear fell down my cheek. "I'm sorry." He cut his eyes over at me and I could tell he was trying really really hard to cover up the anger he felt toward me at that moment. "I wasn't thinking clearly and I can promise you that it won't happen again." I stood up taller and held my chin up high. "I am going to fight and prove to people that I am not just some weak person that can be used for their own personal needs." When I finished talking all anger had faded from dads face. I can only describe the look that was now on his face as pride.

"Alrighty then. Just promise me that you will start talking to me about stuff like this." He asked and I agreed that I would, but I was going to leave the whole Rick thing in the past. "Okay, lets see if we can catch us some rabbit." He said with a wink and I smiled at him.

Dad killed two rabbits and a squirrel. I didn't kill anything seeing as dad can't teach me anything without getting aggravated at me and giving up. We stopped on the outside of the fence and clean the kill before we headed to the prison. "So what do you think of Daryl?" my dad asked as we walked through the field.

"What do you mean what do I think of Daryl?" I asked suspiciously.

"I mean what do you think of Daryl." He repeated the question

"Um well I guess he's an okay guy." I answered wondering what my father was getting at. "What do you think of him?"

We stopped walking when we got to the doors of the prison. "I agree with you. I like him more than I like Rick, he seems like a smartass." He paused before he asked me another question. "So you don't hate Daryl anymore?"

I leaned against the door thinking about it. He hadn't made any moves on me, he answered questions when I asked and genuinely seamed like a good man. "I don't hate him and I know I can't hold his jackass brothers actions against him." I said and dad seamed to be satisfied with that answer. So we opened to door and walked into the prison holding area. I stopped a few steps into the building. I was frozen in place by the sight in front of me. Sitting at the table closes to the door was none other than Merle Dixon himself. I started hoping I was just stuck in a bad dream but it never ended.

My dad had the opposite reaction. He grabbed the un-expecting Merle by his neck and shoved him against the nearest wall. He was repeatedly hitting Merle in the face and I didn't move to stop him. Why would I want to? Before I knew it Rick was in the room pulling my dad off of Merle and Daryl was holding Merle back. "What the fuck is he doing here?!" my dad yelled at Rick and tried to get at Merle. I was still just standing off to the side. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

When I said I was going to stand up and prove that I could be a stronger person. I didn't know that the first person I was going to have to prove it to would be Merle. Merle and my dad had both finally stopped struggling to get at each other. Daryl and Rick stood between the two with Daryl staring down Merle and Rick to my dad. With them both somewhat calm Merle started looking around at the people that had accumulated in the holding room. His eyes landed on me last seeing as I was still standing near the door and away from the others. "Hey sugar tits. How bout a hug for ole Merle." He winked at me and extended his arms out as if to embrace me. I felt my stomach start to churn and I feared I might puke, but I refused to let him see me be weak. I extended my middle finger in his direction, a gesture I had never used before. "Ooo looks like some one wants some more if this." He bit his lip and thrust his hips in my direction. I had to fight to keep down the bile that was rising in my throat.

"Leave her alone you son of a bitch!" my father yelled and made a run at Merle only to be caught by Rick. I looked away from them to see Daryl shove his brother away from me.

"Cool it Merle." Daryl said with a warning tone. "Leave her alone." Merle smirked at his brother.

"What? You got yourself a little girlfriend Darylina? Finally gettin you some nookie?" he asked and I saw Daryl's body tense.

"Maybe." His voice was low and gruff. I couldn't see his face, but judging by the look on Merles it was convincing.

"Hmm you wouldn't want to share her would you?" he asked hopefully and I saw Daryl's fists clench at his sides. "Oh well. She wasn't that good anyways." He said with a shrug and when he didn't say anything else Daryl walked to my side and put his arm around my waist pulling me into his warm, hard side. I didn't say anything I just kept my glaring eyes on Merle as he rolled his eyes and walked into the main room. As soon as he was out of sight I shoved Daryl off of me, slung the door open, went outside and slammed it shut behind me.

I didn't know where I was going until I got to the bus. I opened the back door of it and went inside. There were a few walkers that were still in the bus and they were slowly crawling towards me so I pulled my knife out of its sheath incase they made it to me.

What was Daryl thinking back there? I had just told my dad that Daryl was a good man. Now he is claiming to be my boyfriend. Did he think I would just run to him to get away from his brother? How did Merle even get into the prison? I had so many questions running through my head and no answers for any of them. I was sitting with my head in my hands and my feet were resting on a bar that was under the seat. I heard a nock on the side of the bus and I looked over to see Daryl standing in the back doorway. His face was blank do I placed my head back in my hands and looked back at the side of the bus which now worked as the floor.

"Can I come in?" He asked and I just shrugged in response not looking up at him. I heard his foot steps as he entered and leaned up against the ceiling of the bus across from me. "You mad at me?" I could feel his eyes on me as he spoke and I looked up at him.

I let out a sigh "Honestly? I have no idea." He didn't say anything. "Why did you say we were…you know?" I asked letting my confusion fill my voice.

"It was the only thing I could think of that would keep my brother away from you." He said with a sigh before biting at his nails. I made a face at him.

"My dad can protect me from Merle." I said defending myself.

"No offense, but Merle wouldn't let your father stop him." He said in his normal rough voice, but it felt like he was insulting my dad and saying that he wasn't strong enough to protect me.

"My father can't protect me, but you can?" I asked angrily and jumped down off of the seat to stab a near by walker in the eye.

"Nice." He said with a nod toward my kill and I couldn't tell if he was joking of not.

"Answer my question." I said exasperatedly as walked down the bus stabbing the pathetic weak walkers as I neared them.

"I figured Merle would leave you alone if he thought you were with me." He explained.

"Why?" I asked still confused. I didn't understand how Daryl could protect me and Dad couldn't.

"Because I'm his brother." Like that was a good enough reason. "Merle has never stolen from me before; I don't think it will be any different with a woman." I stabbed the last walker and turned to look at him. He looked at the floor as he bit at his nails.

"So you're not just doing this as some weird attempt to get into my pants like every other guy here has?" I asked and he looked at me still biting his nails.

"Pffft."

"I take that as a no?" he didn't answer. "Okay then I take your silence as a yes." He rolled his eyes at me. So I changed the subject. "What is your brother doing here anyways?" I asked and it got his attention.

"I was clearing out some of the other passages in the prison and I ran into him. He said he got in through a hole in the prison somewhere." He explained.

"So it's that easy huh? People and walkers can just waltz right in the prison like its nothing. That's real comforting." I said and he chuckled. It was quiet between us for a while as I was lost in thought. I hated Merle and knowing that Rick was probably going to let him stay in the prison was enough to make me want to puke. "You know I hate your brother right?" I asked and he just nodded at me. "I don't just dislike him I _hate_ him." I put as much venom into the word as I could.

"I get it." He said trying to get me to stop talking about his brother. "Should probably be getting back." He pushed himself off of the roof where he had been leaning the whole time and started walking back to the exit. I didn't move. He stopped when he got to the door and realized I wasn't following him. "_We_ should be getting back. Plus no one is allowed outside by themselves remember?"

I hopped down off of the seat and started walking towards him. "Oh right. Captain Rick's orders." I said sarcastically making Daryl smirk at me. I walked slowly, seeing as I was in no hurry to get back under the same roof a Merle, and Daryl matched my pace. He walked side by side and a foot away from each other. "So we are going to have to make this…Relationship, believable huh?"

"Yep." I let out a groan of frustration. "Problem?" he asked somewhat playfully unaware of my inner turmoil. I couldn't figure out what was going to be worse. Having to live under the same roof as Merle or having to pretend to be in a relationship of some kind with Daryl. Not that Daryl was a bad guy, but I was no where near happy about trying to fool people into thinking we were together.

"Yes. A big problem. I've never been in a…sexual relationship with anyone before. Hell I've never even been on a date."

"I don't believe that." He said with a smirk before he looked at me. As soon as he did his smile faded. "Oh, your serious." I gave him a duh look.

"I wasn't exactly a social butterfly before all this happened." I admitted looking at where I was walking.

"Now that I believe." I shot him a look. "Okay well just follow my lead then." I just looked at him then back ahead of me. We were getting close to the prison door and I hadn't noticed that Daryl had stopped walking until he put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. I stopped and turned to look at him. "You're not going to like this, but we are going to have to move our beds together." I felt my eyes involuntarily widen. "Calm down, I promise you I wont try anything. Merle isn't going to believe it if we don't at least sleep in the same bed."

I let out another groan. This was going to be harder than I thought. "Fine, but who all are we trying to convince here? Just Merle or the entire group?" I asked as it donned on me that I didn't really know most of the people in the group, especially T-Dog, and that one of them might let it slip that Daryl and I aren't really together. Daryl seemed to think about it for a minute.

"Probably the whole group. If they believe it then so will Merle." He said and I agreed with him. "Any more questions?" he asked and I shook my head. We continued walking the few feet to the door and entered to see the holding room empty. Daryl placed his hand reassuringly on the small of my back and led me into the main room where we were greeted with several sets of questioning eyes. Merle was no where to be found and Maggie was the first to speak up.

"When were you guys going to tell Glenn and I that we were no longer the cutest couple?" she asked with a playfully and I felt myself blush.

"Hey they aren't cuter than us." Glenn argued and Maggie elbowed him shutting him up. I watched as a smile spread over Lori's face as she eyed the way Daryl and I stood next to each other. I felt like asking her if she had anything to say, but I held back knowing that it would only make things with her worse. I was avoiding looking at my dad. I didn't know how he was taking this considering everything that had happenen since we got to the prison.

I made myself look at him. The look on his face was either hurt or disappointed neither of those was good. I took a deep nervous breath and my dad nodded his head in the direction of his cell. I left Daryl to follow him. I was expecting Dad to get mad at me and start yelling at me or something, but he didn't. "Why didn't you tell me that you were with Daryl?" he asked quietly so no one could hear us. I didn't have an answer for him. So I winged it.

"I was going to, I just didn't know how to." I whispered back pleadingly. I opened my mouth to say something but be interrupted me.

"So you are sleeping with him? This isn't just some stupid scheme to keep Merle away from you?" uhh…crap how do I answer that. I had a quick choice to make and I didn't know rather to go with the truth, or the lie. So I said which ever one chose to come out of my mouth.

"No. It's not a plot." I blurted. My dad let his head fall forward and let out a disappointed sigh. I didn't know why I lied. I could have told him the truth, but I guessed keeping my dad in the dark and letting Merle see that my dad was against me being with Daryl would only make things more believable.

"I guess I can't keep you away from him now." I couldn't believe my ears. Was my dad actually letting this happen? He wasn't even going to protest? He gave me a strained look. "Just tell me you're being safe."

"Oh gross dad please tell me you're not trying to have "the talk" with me." I air quoted the words in disgust.

"Well you mother isn't here to give it to you." He said like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Do you at least have condo-"

"Ugh dad just stop. Mom gave me that talk like six years ago." I said holding up my hand stopping him.

"You weren't sexually active six years ago." I rolled my eyes at him and he gave me a suspicious look. "Were you?"

"No." I said snappily. "And I'm sure things work the same now as they did then." This conversation was completely grossing me out so I turned to walk out of his cell.

"Bay?" I turned to see that dad had his stern face back on. "No more secrets. I mean it." This was killing me but it had to be done.

"Okay." It was the only response I could muster. I walked out of the cell and to where the women were sitting folding laundry. Did the house work ever stop with these people? Everyone else was gone so I sat down and absentmindedly started folding what I figured was a pile if Daryl's clothes' considering it was nothing but thin sleeveless shirts.

I was pulled from my thoughts by Lori's voice. "So, Bay, how Daryl in the sack?" I shocked by her question and the way she wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively. I had no idea how to answer it. I felt my cheeks flush and Maggie giggled.

"Lori, leave her alone." Maggie said coming to my rescue. "Not all women like to share the intimate details of their sex life." There was a hint of Play fullness in her voice.

Lori laughed. "Like you would know anything about keeping that stuff to your self." She said accusingly to Maggie who laughed in return.

"You're right I just can't keep the fact that Glenn is a beast in the bedroom all to myself." She said with a giggle. I looked to Beth who hadn't said a word. She was quietly folding clothes.

"I wish Rick would get wild sometimes. He's just so boring. He never tries anything different. Not that we've really done much of anything here lately." She said with an eye roll. This conversation was almost more uncomfortable than the one I had with my dad not more than five minutes earlier. I had started doing a good job of blocking them out until I was pulled out of my clothes folding daze. "Bay? Yoo hoo earth to Bay." I looked up to see Lori waving her hand at me as if to wake me up. "I was asking if Daryl was a good kisser." Gerrr she was not making this easy on me.

I looked at Maggie for help but she just laughed. "Hey even I'm curious about this one." She said raising her hands as if to surrender.

I let out an aggravated breath. "I'm not trying to be rude here, but it's really none of your business." I didn't wait to see their reactions. I just picked up the basket with Dads clothes in it and dumped it into the one with Daryl's clothes then headed to the perch to fold in privacy. I was at the top of the stairs and looking at the black angel wing vest that was in the basket when I ran smack into Merle. I dropped the basked and clothes went everywhere. Everything that had previously been folded were now all over the stairs and on the floor below. "Damn it!" I shouted in anger and chunked the basket to the floor blow.

"Aww what's the matter sugar tits? You havin a bad day?" he asked in mock sympathy and I glared at him before I turned and started walking back down the stairs to get the basket and the clothes that had fallen between the stairs. I was on ground level and gathering up the clothes I dropped when Merle surprised me by gathering up the clothes that were still on the stairs and dropping them into the basket below. When I was done gathering up the clothes I ignored the fact that Merle was still standing on the stairs and headed up them anyways. I didn't know where this new found bravery had come from but I wasn't going to let it go. Soon I was face to face with him and he still didn't move. "You gonna start doing my laundry now sugar?" he asked and just the thought of touching anything that had been touching him made me want to puke.

"You have two hands wash them your self." I said then looked at his stump with the same mock sympathy he used on me. "Oh, oops I'm sorry." I said in an overly sweet voice. "Now if you would mind moving out of my way? I have work to do." I said in my normal tired voice. He had a frown on his face, but he moved out of my way and let me continue up the stairs to the perch. Things had been moved around when I got there. There was now a double bed maid up and in the opposite corner was another thin mattress with a bag that I had never seen laying on it. "Shit." I said under my breath. Then walked over to the double bed and plopped down on it and started folding away.

It took what seamed like forever to get all the clothes folded. When I was done I brought the big stack of my dads to his cell and put them on his bed. The whole group excluding my dad and Daryl was sitting around in a circle in the main room. I didn't feel the need to join them considering Merle was sitting in the circle like it was no big deal. So I went back up to the perch and grabbed my knitting. It might have been stupid and old school, but at the moment it was the only thing I had to concentrate on. So I set to work on the blanket that was probably going to be a big mess of different patterns when I was finished with it. The sun was starting to set and I was starting to wonder if Dad had led Daryl off some where and killed him or something when I heard the door open below and they came in with several rabbits and squirrels to cook along with whatever food we had from the cafeteria.

I stayed on the perch until Daryl came up and noticed me sitting on the bed knitting. "Where did you learn to do that?" he asked and I stopped to look up at him to see that he was looking at my knitting.

"I taught myself." He looked like he didn't believe me. "I watched you tube videos to get the basics of it then kinda ventured out on my own for the rest of it." I explained further.

"Looks hard." He said looking at he long metal needles that were beside me on the bed.

"Na, not once you get the hang of it." Neither of us said anything after that and the silence was starting to get awkward so I broke it with the first question that came to mind. "Is that your brother's stuff?" it was a stupid question that I already knew the answer to. He grunted in response and sat down on the bed next to me and pulled off his sweaty shirt. I noticed the scars on his back and sides but I pretended like I didn't and kept on talking. "Did you know he was going to be sleeping up here?" I asked.

"No, but don't worry about it. He ain't gonna mess with you unless he wants a black eye from me." He grabbed his bag off of the floor at his feet and started looking for another shirt to put on. I looked at the purple raised marks on his back as he bent over looking in the bag. I wondered how they got there and was about to ask but a little voice popped into my head telling me not to. "Aren't you goin to ask?" he said once he sat up without a shirt in his hands.

"Ask what?" I asked as I leaned over to the head of the bed where I had stacked his shirts and grabbed a worn brown sleeveless button up. I sat back up and handed it to him.

"I saw you lookin at them." He said and I knew what he was talking about. "You can ask if you want to." His blue eyes met mine and I was tempted to ask, but I didn't. Even though he said I could there was something in his eyes asking me not to.

"It's none of my business." I said simply and he gave me a single nod. He looked relieved that I didn't ask. "But I do have a different question for you." He gave me a look that told me to ask. "Has my dad tried to kill you yet?" a nervous laugh escaped my lips and he smirked at me.

"No, but he did give me a good talkin to." He said with a strange look on his face.

"Ugh you to huh? Was the talk he gave you as disturbing and awkward as the one he tried to give me?"

"Yeah." He let out a puff of air. "He pretty much gave me the same talk any man would give the guy that was being sexually active with his daughter." He said in his normal low gruff voice and I shuttered. "What?"

"I hate the term sexually active. It makes it sound so…junior high." I said and he smirked again. "I'm twenty one not twelve." He was still sitting on the bed next to me and he was looked down at his boots which where stained with blood. "So you're sure he didn't threaten to kill you?" I couldn't keep myself from asking again.

"Yeah why?" he asked me with a funny look on his face and I smiled remembering a memory from the past.

"Because when I was fifteen I was at the mall with my friend and my parents. My friend and I were talking about a cute boy from school and my dad overheard. Later after we brought my friend home my dad told me that if I ever brought a boy home he would write his name on a shot gun shell and tell him it was reserved for him if her ever hurt me." Daryl raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Mmkay." He said with a funny look on his face. "He didn't threaten to shoot me, but I think I should hide all of the shotgun shells." He had a smile on his face when he finished talking and I laughed.

"Hey love birds!" I heard from the ground below but it didn't occur to me that they were talking to us. "Daryl! Bay!" Daryl and I looked at each other before we stood up and went to the railing of the perch. Rick was looking up at us. "We are going outside to cook. Y'all coming?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

I looked at Daryl for him to answer. "Na. Maybe later." He said nonchalantly and Rick laughed as he and Merle left the building. As soon as the door closed I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding in until then. I stepped back and rested my head on the railing. I felt Daryl's eyes on me so I stood up and looked at him.

"What are we supposed to actually do in here by ourselves?" he didn't say anything, he just smirked and I looked at him suspiciously. "You're not actually expecting me to sleep with you or anything are you?" I asked with wide eyes. He smiled and walked over to his bag and started digging around. I was starting worry that he might me looking for a condom or something. So I was relieved when he pulled out a deck of cards and tossed them to me. "Oh." I said in a relieved breath and sat down on the bed.

"Probably wouldn't hurt to take your hair down though." He said quietly before he sat down on the bed. Across from me and picked up the cards from where I had set them on the bed. "Know how to play speed?" he asked while shuffling the cards.

I pulled the ponytail holder that was holding my bud in place and let my hair fall. "Yeah, but I haven't played in forever, so I might be a little rusty." He shuffled the cards a few more timed before he started dealing them out into the appropriate stacks. He handed me my twenty cards, we each took out five then arranged them in our hand. We looked at each other then flipped the two center cars over. To make a long story short he ended up kicking me ass at speed. "That's no fair you totally cheated." I laughed and tossed a card at him and he looked offended.

"Me? Cheat? Never." He said and tossed the card back at me with a smirk on his face.

"So have we been locked up in here by ourselves long enough? I'm getting kinda hungry." I said and he let out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Yeah. Come ere." I had been sitting with my knees tucked under me so I put my hands on them and lead towards him. He put his hands in my hair and messed tussled it a bit making it messy. I got up and grabbed the battery powered camp lamp and went to my cell to look in the mirror.

I busted out laughing at how disheveled and fizzy my hair looked. "Okay, no." I spun around and walked out of the cell. "I am not going out there looking like this." He smirked at me. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun. "Will you settle for this?" I asked pointing to my hair.

"Should work." He stood up off of the bed and started walking towards the stairs so I rushed to catch up with him. We walked over to the door and I took a deep breath before he opened it and we stepped out into the cold night air. Daryl put his hand on the small of my back as we walked to where the group was sitting around the fire talking. I was starting to figure out that this small action was his way of letting everyone know that I was with him without making me feel terribly uncomfortable in the process.

"Hey the love birds have chosen to leave the nest." Rick teased and I shot him a look out of reflex. I was expecting Merle to say something but he kept his mouth shut and continued eating what little was on his plate. I looked around the fire trying to find a place to sit when Daryl handed me a plate with rabbit and sliced carrots on it. He sat down next to T-Dog and I sat between him and Hershel. I ate in silence and listened to the others talk. The whole time Merle didn't say a word and I found that to be suspicious. No one, not even Rick said a word when he got up and announced that he was going to bed.

When I finished eating I put my plate in the bucket with the other dirty plates and sat back down. Even though Merle was inside we still had to act like a couple. So Daryl wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. He hadn't done this since he first told his brother that we were together, but this time I didn't shove him away. The warmth that radiated off of him was welcoming compared to the chill of the night. It felt weird to be this close to him. Maggie wiggled her eyebrows at me the same way Lori had earlier in the day and I felt heat rise to my cheeks. A particular spot of dirt on my shoe suddenly became more interesting than the people sitting around the fire and I started picking at it. I'm sure that if I had really been sleeping with Daryl her actions would have had the same effect on me.

Soon we all headed inside. We headed up the stairs to the perch. When we got to the top we were greeted with the sight of a shirtless and snoring Merle. My stomach was already upset from the nervousness of having to sleep in the same bed with Daryl. So the sight of Merle shirtless brought up images from the past and sent my stomach over the edge. I put my hand over my mouth and ran down the stairs stumbling a few times because all I had to see by was the dim moonlight that was coming through the windows. I had barely gotten through the door before I lost it. I bent over placing my hands on my knees as my dinner came back up burning my nose and throat as it did. I Dry heaved a few more time before I heard familiar foot steps coming towards me.

I stood up wiping my mouth with one hand and I held the other out to the side with my palm facing him. I was trying to let him know I wanted him stay away and I guess he got the hit because the foot steps stopped. Neither of us said anything. I just stood there with my back to him wiping my running nose and trying to spit as much of the vomit taste out of my mouth as I could. Finally when I had composed myself I turned to face him. He was biting his nails but he dropped his hand when he saw that I had turned around. I couldn't think of anything to say so I walked past him and into the building. I grabbed a bottle of water off of the table in the holding area as I walked by it and walked up the stairs to the perch.

I walked quickly past Merle who was still sleeping and into my cell. I used the water to rinse my mouth out. I grabbed a dirty shirt off of the floor and pored some of the water on it then wiped off my face. When I was done I left the cell to find that Daryl was already in bed so I grabbed some comfortable clothes and went to the cell to change. I put on some orange and green plaid pajama pants and a tank top. I walked out of the cell and awkwardly climbed into the bed. I tried to lie as far away from him as possible but the mattress were so small that I couldn't help but be touching him. I had the blankets pulled up around my chin but I was still cold and I was having trouble getting into a comfortable position. I finally gave up and settled for lying on my back. I let out an aggravated sigh and dropped my hands at my sides on top of the blankets.

"Having problems?" Daryl asked quietly and I turned to look at him.

My face was inches from his so I looked back up at the ceiling so that I didn't breath in his face. "Just a little." I whispered back.

"Do you trust me?"

"Uh, I guess so." I answered not knowing what to expect from him at this point.

"Lay one your side." I rolled over and put my back to him. The next thing I knew he had looped his arm around my waist and pulled into him so that we were spooning. I didn't say anything for a while, but eventually got over the shock of the position.

"Daryl." He hummed. "I'm still not comfortable." I said meekly and he sighed.

He flipped over putting his back against mine. "Better?" I told him it was. "Night."

"Night." I said quietly back. It was hard to fall asleep, not because I was uncomfortable, but because I was scared that Merle was up to something. He was being to…well behaved. But soon the warmth that was coming from Daryl's back lulled me to sleep.

**A/N:** Please tell me if you love or hate where this is going. I welcome constructive crisicism. and just so you guys know this may not be going where you think it is.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Hey peeps. Got another long chapter for you and it switches pov a couple if times so i hope y'all dont mind that. I just couldent cover this chapter without doing it. Anywho i hope y'll enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think.

**Chapter 12**

"Hmm what do ya think we should do with her toe mas?" I heard the familiar gruff voice of Merle, but I could see was darkness.

"Well you've had your way with her," I felt a set of rough hands as they squeezed my shoulders. I gripped the arms of the chair and gritted my teeth. The plastic zip ties were digging into my wrists and I whimpered involuntarily from the pain. "Shh." I felt something being pulled off of my head. Pain shot through my eyes as they adjusted to the bright sun in my face. Merle was standing in front of me glaring at the man standing behind me. I winced when I felt lips press to my neck and they traveled up my neck to my ear. "Don't worry I won't hurt you." His breath was hot on my ear.

My whole body was shaking, but it wasn't out of fear. I was pissed that I had ended up in that situation. Tomas's hands slid up my shoulders to encircle my neck. "Yeah I seriously doubt tha-" his hands clamped down on my neck cutting off my ability to speak and breathe. I struggled with every ounce of fight I had left in me before my world went black.

I, once again, shot straight up in bed. My hand grabbed at my neck trying to rub away the remaining sensations of the hands that had only been in my sleep. Daryl mumbled in his sleep and turned over facing away from me. Merle was still sound asleep and snoring his head off. I wiped at the tears as I worked on catching my breath. I had been having yet another nightmare. The sun was barely starting to rise so I laid back down on my back beside Daryl. I tried to go back to sleep, but it just wasn't happening. I was about to get up when Daryl suddenly turned over and threw his arm limply over my stomach.

This made me uncomfortable. Daryl said he wasn't a light sleeper, but I still didn't want to risk waking him by trying to move his arm. Instead I turned onto my side facing away from him. His arm stayed on my side as I did. There was space between our bodies and I was actually comfortable until he surprised me by tightening his grip on me. The slight space was now gone and our bodies were flush against each other. I could feel every inch of him against me from his heard chest muscles all the way down to the hardness that was pressed against my rear.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling and it brought back lots of bad memories that I thought I had finally started getting over, but a woman never really gets over something like that does she? Even though I tried my hardest not to cry, a fresh batch of tears started sliding down my face and soaked into the mattress. As always, once I started crying there was no holding back. My body shook as I sobbed into my pillow and I'm guessing that it finally woke Daryl up. I felt his arm as he removed it then the shifting of the mattresses as he sat up. He let out a huff of air "shit." Was all he said and I pulled my face out of the pillow and stared at the gray wall across from me. For a while the only sounds to be heard where the incessant snoring coming from Merle and the faint sounds of me crying. I soon realized that I needed to get myself under control before Merle woke up and I once again looked weak. So I forced myself to keep my body from shaking and rolled over onto my back. I still couldn't keep the tears from sliding down my face as I looked at Daryl where he was sitting propped up on his arms with the covers over him from the waist down. He gave me a pained half smile. "Sorry." I said returning the smile.

"Na, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...um..." he looked down and started picking at his nails. I could tell he was struggling for the right words so I didn't let him finish.

"Don't be sorry." He looked up at me with a blank expression. "Its not like you can control what you do in your sleep." He didn't say anything, but he looked relieved and I realized that I had stopped crying. I glanced over at merle, who was still snoring away. I looked back at Daryl and realized he was staring at his brother as well. I sat up in the bed mimicking his position. "Has he always snored like that?" Daryl hummed out a yes. "Damn no wonder you're not a light sleeper, he sounds like a freakin chain saw."

He chuckled at that "Like you have room talk."

"I don't snore." I said acting offended.

"It ain't too loud, but ya defiantly snore." I smiled a bit wondering if I really did snore.

"Yeah whatever. Ill believe you when you have proof." He chuckled. I was feeling better after talking with him but an awkwardness fell over us again as we sat there in bed still half way under the covers. Sometimes it felt like I had been forced into an arranged marriage or something. The awkwardness of the situation made me think of the questions that Maggie and Lori had asked me the previous day. Merle was still sound asleep and Daryl had made no move to get out of bed so I tried to start up another conversation. "You know Lori asked me how good you were in bed." Crap why did that have to be what came out of my mouth?

He made a sound like he was choking before he croaked a surprised "What?"

"Yeah, and Maggie asked me how good of a kisser you are." Ugh would the word vomit not stop?

I looked over at him and there was no hiding the fact that his cheeks were bright red. "Uh...what did you tell them?" He drawled as if he was scared to know.

"I politely told them it was none of their business and walked off." I explained simply and he breathed out a sigh of relief. It was quiet between us for a minute. I was looking at my hands picking dirt out from under my nails when I spoke. "Are we going to have to kiss in front of them?" I looked at him as he thought about it.

"Sooner or later. I think the will get suspicious if we don't. Maggie and Glenn are practically all over each other all the time and I've even seen Rick and Lori kiss a few times."

I groaned and let my head fall back. "I think that's going to be even weirder than this." I motioned to the bed and our current position. "No offense." I added dropping my head back down to look at him.

I was met with his lips on mine, but they were gone just as fast as they got there. "Now it won't be weird." I just looked him still in shock. "What?" I still didn't say anything "was it bad?" His question snapped me out of it and I looked at my hands as thought about it.

"No." I drawled. "It wasn't bad just...fast." I couldn't make myself look at him. "I don't think that's the kind of kiss that will convince the others." Now it was his turn to be speechless. I could still hear Merle snoring so I knew he was still asleep and hadn't heard a word we had been saying. "I feel like we are two little kids trying to learn how to kiss." I said with a nervous laugh and made myself look at him.

He smirked at me "Yeah, me to." I was getting uncomfortable leaning back on my hands like we had been. So I sat up with my legs tucked under me facing Daryl making sure that my lap was still covered by the blanket. It was still chilly in the building and would be until the sun was fully up. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to block out the cold. "Do you trust me?" It was the second time he had asked me that and I was surer of my answer this time when I told him I did. "Come ere." I scooted closer to him and he motioned for me to come closer. So I scooted closer until I was face to face with him. I didn't know what to expect, but looking back now I should have. He tucked a wavy lock of hair behind my ear before he slowly started leaning into me. I fought the urge to lean back. It was almost torturous waiting for his lips to touch mine and I barley felt it when they did.

At first it was like he wasn't even there. At first it was awkward then it was just okay, then all too soon his lips left mine. Neither of us said anything we just looked at each other anticipating the others response. The kiss was nothing like the one I received from Rick or the other men. It wasn't practiced or perfect, but it also didn't feel like he was forcing himself on me. He still hadn't said anything so I figured I would step up to the plate or we would just keep sitting there like a couple of idiots. "well" I drawled, "that was better than the other one." I said trying to sound hopeful. He just shrugged one shoulder and I felt my stomach fall. It hadn't occurred to me until then that I might be a bad kisser. The thought left my lips before I could stop it. "Oh my gosh I'm a bad kisser." It came out in a rush and I flopped down backwards onto the bed letting my legs come out from under the blankets and land beside Daryl.

He glanced at his brother then back at me. "Yer not a bad kisser, I am." His voice was quiet and more rough than usual.

I couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled up. "Oh please. You're not seriously pulling the it's not you it's me card are you?" he just looked at me with his normal blank face and glairing eyes. "Your serious aren't you?" he was unresponsive but I knew it was a yes. "Fine I'm pulling the same card, because you are not a bad kisser." I could have sworn that he blushed. If he thought he was a bad kisser and I thought I was a bad kisser, maybe we just weren't' doing something right. I couldn't help but wish his face was more readable. I sat up to that I was sitting right in front of him with my legs tucked under me. "Third times a charm?" I suggested and he bit his lip as he thought about it.

He nodded once then said "Kay." So quietly that I almost didn't hear it. I stood up on my knees and leaned into him. He met me half way and this time there was no mistaking that his lips were on mine. Everything about the kiss was so much better than the previous ones and I soon found myself lost in it. I brought my arms up and crossed my wrists behind his neck. I took in the feel of the way his facial hair tickled my face and how warm and gentle his lips were on mine. I felt his hand as it slid around my waist and pulled me into him so that I was sitting on one of his legs. I let my hand slide up lacing my fingers in his hair. Arrantly he really liked it because he moaned into my mouth.

All of a sudden things changed. His body tensed and his hands moved from my sides to my stomach. He didn't even try to be gentle when he shoved me off of him. I landed on my butt on the bed with a bounce. I looked at him only to discover he wasn't even looking at me. If followed his gaze only for it to land on my father. Oh that explains it. I was at a loss of words as I looked at my father. He was so angry that his face was blood shot. What was he so mad about? He knew that I was "sleeping" with Daryl.

"Bailey Simone Clark." His tone was so harsh that it felt like I had been slapped. "What on earth do you think you are doing?"

"Sean, I…uh…" Daryl started but my dad cut him off.

"I aught to shoot you right now you son of a bitch." I wasn't good with confrontations so I was frozen in place. "You said you wouldn't lay a hand on her. I trusted you, but I won't do that again." What the hell was going on? I was so confused. My dad turned back to me "You and I need to have a little talk." he grabbed me by my injured wrist causing pain to shoot through my arm and down my fingers. He started dragging me down the stairs with me struggling to get my hand out of his grasp. For a second time that morning I started crying. This time out of fear and physical pain. I had never seen my dad like this before.

I begged and begged for him to let me go but he didn't. the people that weren't already in the main room started coming out of their cells to watch as my father dragged me out of the building and onto the cement. Then and only then did he let go of me. And even then he pushed me to sit down on the metal bleachers. I still didn't know what to say to him. "What did you think you were doing?!" he yelled at me and I just blinked at him afraid to talk as tears slipped down my cheeks. "You have already been raped by one guy, almost by another. Do you want it to happen again?" I just looked at him confused. What did he mean by Daryl said he wouldn't lay a hand on me? "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I, I um." I didn't know what to say and I was still shook up from being dragged outside. My father was still steaming as he paced in front of where I sat. "What did you mean by Daryl wasn't supposed to touch me?" Dad stopped pacing with his back to me then slowly turned to face me.

"Unlike a certain someone I know, he told me about this scam to keep Merle away from you." I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had told my dad that I wasn't lying to him. "He said he wouldn't mess with you, but judging by what I just saw he is a liar as well." He ran his hand through his hair. "What were you thinking kissing him like that?"

I thought about the answer for a minute before I answered. "I was thinking that we were only practicing to make our "relationship" more believable." I answered and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Are you seriously that naïve?" I just looked at him as the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach worsened. "That wasn't practicing. He probably suggested "practicing" kissing so that he could seduce you and get into your pants." Daryl had never been anything but gentleman when it came to me and dad saying what he just did pissed me off.

"I suggested it." I blurted out without thinking of how my dad might take it.

"Then you're even dumber than I thought." He said taking a step back and it felt like he stabbed me in my gut. "He is just using Merle as an excuse to get at you."

I stood up off of the bench and walked a few steps away from him. "You don't know what you're talking about." He scoffed at me. "I'm serious. I kissed him. He is a good guy here dad."

"You really don't see it do you?" he asked walking closer to me. "He is a grown man, and you're just a kid. There is only one thing he wants from you. He is just like his brother." That really got me pissed off.

"He is nothing like Merle!" I shouted at him. "You're the one that can't see it dad. He is nothing like him. He is protecting me from his brother and if you don't believe that then screw you." I turned to walk away and I felt dads hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and just kept walking. All of the others excluding Rick, Daryl and Glenn were coming outside as I was about to go in so I joined them instead of going inside. I didn't feel like being alone with my emotions.

"What was that about?" Maggie asked with Lori right beside her giving me a questioning look as well.

I just sighed. "Don't ask." I walked ahead of them and past Merle to fall instep beside T-dog. "Where's Daryl and the others?" he looked at me then his eyes became wide.

"Walkers!" he yelled and I turned around to see more than I could count walking around the corner of the building. Carl and I had the same idea we ran to the bleachers and climbed up shooting the walkers as they came to us. I looked around as I shot, but I couldn't find my dad in the craziness that was going on around me. I saw a glimpse of Beth and Hershel as they went into the building. "Lori here!" Maggie yelled then Carl jumped down off of the bleachers and ran after his mother into a door that quickly shut behind her. I kept shooting walkers not knowing what else to do.

"That gate is open!" T-dog yelled at us then ran off in the direction of the gate. My thoughts were everywhere and I couldn't make them stop long enough to make a decision one way of another. One thought was telling me to go after T-Dog, another telling me to run and find a place to hide another telling me to say in place and wait for my dad to find me. I ended up frozen in place shooting walkers as they came to me. All of a sudden I hear the deep screams of a man and I turn to see T-Dog stumbling hastily towards me with a bur bloody spot on his shirt. I instantly know he's been bitten by the look of total lose on his face.

He stumbles closer towards me and raises his gun. The barrel is staring me straight in the face and I prepare for the worst. I sink to my knees on the bench and cover my head with my arms. I hear the gun as it goes off and wait for the inevitable pain of death, but it doesn't. I quickly remove my arms off of my head as walker as it fell to the ground at my feet. My eyes find T-Dog giving him a thankful look. I hear another gun shot and watch in slow motion as a bullet flies through T-Dogs head. Blood splatters everywhere and he falls to the ground. "NO!" I scream following the direction the bullet came from to see Merle with his gun still raised, panting with a troubled look on his face. He shot another walker that I had been unaware of that was about to bite my ankle.

He ran up to me and grabbed my arm roughly pulling me from the bleachers. "Come one we gotta go. Now!" he started pulling me to a door on the building. I didn't even really have a choice. It was either go with him or stay out here, surrounded by walkers with limited ammo. So I let him pull me into the building. We ran down the hall way not really knowing where we were going. We skidded to a halt as a group of walkers rounded the corner ahead then turned to go back the way we came, but got cut off my more walkers that had come from a conjoining hall. The lights started flashing and a siren started blaring. "In here!" Merle yelled over the blaring and opened a door.

I quickly ran into the room behind him. We barley got it shut in time before the walkers started pounding away at it trying to get in. I put my hands over my ears looking around the room to find the source of the loud sound. "What is that?" I yelled and as soon as my eyes landed on the speaker on the wall Merle had sent a bullet flying through it. The sound lessened enough for me to remove my hands from my ears.

The outer wall of the room was lined with four Maytag washing machines the opposed one lined with the same amount of dryers. At each end where shelves filled with prison uniforms and sheets. "Did you see where my dad was?" I asked looking at Merle as he paced in front of the washing machines. Just talking to him made my stomach churn and being in such a small room with him made me want to run out of the room and into the walkers. He didn't say anything. He just bit his lip and shook his head. I found his silence disturbing, but it was probably better than anything he could say right now. I hopped up onto the Dryer letting my feet dangle off of the side. The longer I sat there the more nervous and scared I got. I was shaking like a leaf and I felt like I might puke at any second. I tried not to look at Merle where he was leaning against the washing machine. I put all my focus everywhere else trying to convince myself that he wasn't even in the room.

**Sean's Pov.-**

We were out gating fire wood one minute the next all hell was breaking loose. "Lori! Carl!" Rick was yelling as we ran through the fenced in path as fast as we could. Soon we were to the gait into the main area which we busted into killing the first walkers we saw before we realized Beth and Hershel were behind a screened in area. "What the hell happened?" Rick yelled at them and Beth answered telling us that the gaits were open. "Where's Lori, Carl everyone else?" he asked frantically.

"Maggie let Lori and Carl into C block." Hershel answered and Beth added that Tee had been bit and Merle shot him.

"Anyone else?" he asked and Beth answered that she couldn't tell. "Okay stay put." He ran off to kill walkers.

I ran up to the where Beth and Hershel were standing. "What about Bay did you see her?" both of their faces dropped and I feared the worst. "Tell me!" I yelled at them.

"Merle pulled her into one of the buildings. I couldn't tell if she was bit." Beth answered frantically and I ran off after Rick.

"Those chains didn't break on their own someone took an axe or cutters to 'em." We all looked at the two prisoners who were walking into the area. "You think it was them?" Glenn asked breathlessly before a loud buzzing alarm filled the air. "What is that?"

I heard Daryl growl from behind me. "You got to be kidding me." He had been quiet and up until then I forgot he was there. We all started shooting out the speakers that were on the sides of the buildings but it still wouldn't shut off.

"Damn it!" I hard Rick yell over the blaring as we all gave up on trying shooting the speakers. He ran over to the prisoner Oscar and pointed his gun in the mans face. The next thing I know we are all running to the building to find the backup generators. We head into the cell block first to see if any of our group is there. We couldn't be that lucky there was only walkers and no one else.

We ended up splitting up to look for everyone. Glenn, Axel and I went one way and Daryl, Rick and Oscar went another. We were searching the halls killing walkers when the sirens stopped blaring. We kept walking the halls killing the geeks where there was just a few turning another way when there were to many of them for use the handle. I was starting to thing we were getting ourselves lost and that we would never find our way out when we ran into Rick and the other two men.

"You guys didn't find anyone?" Rick asked and we all shook our heads. "Okay lets head back and see if any of them had the same idea."

We walked back to where it all started to see Beth and Hershel still standing behind the caged in area. "Did you find them?" Hershel asked when we all came running up to them.

"No, we thought maybe they came back here." Glenn answered and they both shook their heads.

"What about Bay, Merle?" he asked and Daryl answered that there was no sign of them.

"We are going back in." Rick said persistently making me even more unsettled my waving his gun around while he was talking. "Daryl and Glenn you go-" the sound of a baby's whimpering hit out ears and Rick turned to look at Maggie as she walked out of the building holding a small bundle in her arms. He dropped his exe and walked over to her.

"Where? Where is she?" he asked stumbling around her. Maggie couldn't answer him all she could do was try and fail to hold back her sobs. We all knew at that moment what happened. I had never been the kind of man to cry, but watching that man fall apart when he realized his wife had died giving birth to his baby made my heart break. He did exactly the same thing I had done when I found my wife lying on our bed with her brains splattered over our head board. "Oh no no no." Rick fell to the ground covering his face with his hands.

None of us knew what to do. We all wanted to help, but we didn't know how. Rick pulled himself up on his knees and Daryl was the only one brave enough to step up to the plate and talk to him. "Rick?" Daryl waked his hand in front of his face. "Rick, you with me? Rick!" he yelled and Rick didn't even blink. The baby started crying so Maggie handed it to Carl who brought it over to Hershel. It was agreed that Rick Glenn and Maggie would go on a run for baby formula, but all I could think about was Bay. Maggie tried to stop Rick when he got up, grabbed his axe and headed into the prison, but he just ignored her and kept on walking.

"I need someone to help me find my daughter." I said and everyone looked at me like they had forgotten I was even there. Maggie looked at me then at Glenn.

"I'll go with Daryl, You help him look." Glenn walked over to her and they started whispering. I looked away when they kissed. Glenn walked over to me and gave me a pat on the back.

"Let's go." He walked past me towards the building door that Beth said she saw them go into.

**Bay's Pov-**

I was sitting on the dryer with tears sliding down my confused face when we heard a commotion at the door that sounded like the thud of falling walkers. "What is that?" I asked wiping my face and turning to look at the door.

"I dunno." He said as he slowly walked to the door. It was suddenly flung open almost hitting Merle in the face as it did. "Holey shit!" my dad came running into the room looking for me.

"Daddy!" I ran to him and threw my arms around his shoulders. He hugged me close to him. "I'm so sorry. For everything I'm sorry." I sobbed into his dirty shoulder.

"Never been so damn happy to see a china man in my life." I heard Merle's gruff voice behind me and I let go of dad to see Glenn walk into the room. "Let's get out of here already." He said walking out of the door and we followed him. We were all silent until we got outside. I looked around to see the two prisoners each digging a grave. I looked at dad with wide eyes.

I knew one of them was for T-dog, but I had no idea who the other one could be for. "Who?" I asked looking at my dad and all joy of finding me had vanished from his face. My first fear was that Daryl got bit. "Who dad? Who else got bit?" I asked frantically and he put his hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

"Lori." He said and my stomach fell. I had never really even had a conversation with her and I know she didn't like me, but when one of the living dies rather you like the person or not doesn't matter. With fewer people in the world we all get attached. So my biggest fear was how this was going to affect Rick. As far as I know they still had unfinished business. Rick loved her and she was pregnant with his child. His child "Oh my god the baby!" I couldn't hold back the concern that filled my voice.

"The baby's fine. Hershel said she's perfectly healthy." Glenn said reassuringly. Then we headed to C block where my dad said everyone was at. When we walked in everyone was gathered in the holding area and turned to us when we walked in. Carl was sitting next to Beth with a baby wrapped up in an old plaid blanket. I looked from the baby to all the other faces in the room. I noticed that three people were missing.

"Where are Maggie and Daryl?" I asked looking at them expectantly. Surly if something happened to them someone would have told me by now.

"They went to find food for the baby." Hershel answered me as I watched Merle move around the group and into the cell room.

"And Rick?" I asked and the already gloomy atmosphere tensed.

"Let's just say he's clearing out the lower levels." Axel answered in his weird accent. No one said a word after that. We all just sat around not knowing what, if anything, we should be doing. Eventually I couldn't sit anymore I needed to be up and moving around, but I couldn't bring myself to go outside. So I stood from the table bench that I had been sitting at by my dad.

"Where are you going?" my dad asked touching my shoulder. And I pointed to the cell room. "But Merle's in there." He protested quizzically.

"I'll be fine." He didn't remove his hand from my arm. "Dad, I promise you I'll be okay." I said convincingly and he took his hand off of my arm. I stepped around fallen walkers as I made my way to the stairs and up to the perch. Merle was lying on his bed, and I could feel his eyes follow me as I made my way to mine and Daryl's bed. I stood there just looking at his black vest laying on it nest to a purple plaid shirt of mine. I had only spent one night with him in it and I found myself wishing that I could spend another.

"Remember what I told you girl." Merles voice startled me and I jumped.

I heaved out a sigh and rubbed my head. "Yeah yeah I remember." I mumbled back and started picking my things up from around the bed. I brought it back to my old cell and dropped in on the floor next to the bed. I went back onto the perch and started taking the covers off of the bed folding them as I went. I took off the double sized bottom sheet that was holding the mattresses together and folded it up. I grabbed the bottom mattress and pulled it away from the other two. I grabbed the top mattress and was having trouble hauling it to my cell. My back was to it as I pulled and suddenly it became a lot lighter. I turned around to see that Merle had picked it up and I had to move out of his way so that he could put it in my cell. I stood off to the side as he picked up the other one and put it on my bund as well. "Uh, thanks." I said walking into my cell.

"Need anything else just let me know." I looked back at him trying to see if his face revealed some kind of innuendo to his words. I saw none. If things seemed different between us it's because they were. Don't get me wrong, I still hated him and he had said a lot if stuff in that stupid laundry room that I didn't know if I believed or not. I was still trying to figure that out, but while we were in there we figured out we had something in common. We both cared about Daryl.

That's why I was moving my bed. Merle knew that our relationship was a fake. He figured it out right off the bat and it didn't help that he was faking being asleep and had heard the entire conversation between Daryl and me this morning. He saw us kiss and according to Merle it was the first time Daryl had ever kissed anyone. I had trouble believing it but after a little thought it made since. Merle told me that if I didn't have romantic feelings for Daryl that I needed to distance myself from him. He said that I was the first person his brother had ever shown any interest in and that he didn't want to see his brother get hurt. He also threw in the fact that if I ever told Daryl he said that that I would regret it. So you can guess that I would keep my mouth shut on the subject.

I was thinking over some other stuff that Merle had told me when the smell of rabbit cooking filled my nose. My stomach growled despite the fact that I didn't think I could be hungry. I stood up and my head started swimming. I caught the rail of the upper bed and steadied myself. I figured it was just a result from standing up to fast mixed with not having ate anything that day. So I continued to the stairs passing Merle where he was laying awake. I was half way down them when I got light headed again I stopped and grabbed the railing to steady myself. This time it didn't go away. My vision tunneled and I grabbed the rail with both hands letting out a groan. My footing on the stairs slipped sending me tumbling. "Sean!" I heard Merle's gruff voice say before I was completely out.

The first thing I heard was the crying of a baby. The second was the light and cooing voice of Daryl. "Shh come on. Come on." I opened my eyes to see the little baby cradled in his big arms with Carl Standing near by. He looked at Carl "She got a name yet?"

"Not Yet. I was thinking maybe Sophia? There's carol to. Or Andrea, Amy. Jacqui, Patricia, or Lori." My heart fell. "I dunno." Carl kicked at something on the floor.

Daryl looked back at the baby lifting its head up with his elbow was he spoke to her. "Yeah." He whispered. "You like that? Huh? Little ass kicker." He smiled and looked around at all of us. "Right? That's a good name right?" we all laughed a little and he looked back at the quiet baby. "Little ass kicker, you like that huh?" he started Rocking her in his arms as she drank from the pink bottle. "You like that sweetheart?" I smiled at them.

"Bay's awake." Carl pointed out making people look at me. I noticed for the first time that my elbows hurt, my outer thigh was stinging and my head was killing me.

"What happened?" I asked looking around the room until my eyes landed on my dad who was standing next to Hershel and Merle. He and Hershel walked over to me where I was sitting in the holding area leaning against the wall.

"You don't remember?" Hershel asked and I told him I didn't "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I smelled food cooking so I was going to walk down stairs and get some because I was starving." I thought about it. "I remember feeling light headed." I said and Hershel heaved a sigh through his nose looking conflicted. "What? What's the matter?" I asked getting worried.

"Hold on I think I know what the problem is." He left the room and came back with something small in his fist. The others, including Daryl and merle, where watching intently. "Have you been feeling shaky or nauseated?" He asked but I didn't have a chance to answer.

"She was shaky earlier." Merle said and I shot him a glare.

"And she puked last night." Daryl threw in and he shrugged when I sent him a less intense glare.

"That true?" Hershel asked turning back to me and I told him it was.

"You've been sick and you didn't tell me?" My dad asked and I looked at his once again disappointed face.

"I thought it was just nerves." I said looking from Dad to Hershel, Daryl, Merle then back to dad.

"It very well could be, but let's check you out and make sure there's not some other problem going on right now." He pulled something out of his shirt pocket. "Let me see your finger." I held out my hand and he wiped off my finger with a small cold alcohol pad. He adjusted a dial at the end of a little pin looking thing then held the other end to the tip of my finger. "This is going to sting a little." He warned before he pushed a button and pricked my finger. He held a small machine with a little white stick coming out of it to my finger letting the stick soak up the blood. The machine beeped and he looked at it for a minute. "Just as I thought. Your blood sugar is low. Lets get you something to eat and see if we can get this number up." He looked at Beth who went to the opposite corner of the room. She returned quickly with a bowl of rabbit and canned sweet potatoes.

I wrinkled my nose at the bowl. "I'm really not hungry." I said looking up at my dad.

"You have to eat. Docks orders." He said with a small smile and I looked from him to Daryl who was still holding little ass kicker. He just looked back at me and rocked the sleeping baby. I took a deep breath and started eating the food.

It was getting late and people started leaving the room. Daryl was one of the first to leave after he gave the baby to Carl. Dad Hershel and Merle remained. I was feeling better after I ate and an Hershel waited for what felt like forever before he let me stand up. My body ached as I did. "How you feelin?" Dad asked and Hershel asked if I felt light headed or anything.

"No light headedness, but my body feels like someone beat the shit out of me." They both look at Merle. I wondered briefly if he was the cause for my soreness before I pushed the thought out of my mind. "Y'all never said what happened." I stated and they all exchanged looks. "Well?" I asked getting impatient.

"You passed out on the stairs." Dad said looking me in the eyes. "You fell a good ways before..." he trailed off and looked at Merle who was standing with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face.

"Before Merle caught you." Hershel finished for my dad. "You would have gotten a pretty nasty concussion if he hadn't been there." He said motioning to merle. So my arch enemy becomes my savior? Awesome, now my life really is like a crappy comic book.

"Great." I said with sleepy sarcasm. "I'm going to bed." I announced but my dad caught me by my wrist and asked the others for privacy. I turned around with a sigh to look at him.

"What happened in that laundry room?" He asked curiously.

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"He didn't hurt you? Or...?"

I sighed "No dad. If he did you would be the first to know." He didn't say anything else so I turned to leave but he stopped me again.

"Are you still sleeping with Daryl?" He asked angering and aggravating me.

I turned around slowly. I really wanted to tell him that my love life or lack there of was none of his business, but I had almost just lost him and I wasn't going to start fight with him so soon after getting him back. "No." I said more sharply than I had meant to. "I moved back to my cell."

He looked confused. "But that's so close to merle."

"So?"

He put his hand on his hip and looked at me through squinted eyes. "So I would think you would want to move down stairs and away from that man."

"Dad, its no big deal." I said and his face literally look twisted in confusion.

"Are you sure something didn't happen in that room that you aren't telling me about?" He asked suspiciously.

"Dad for the last time nothing happened." I said talking with my hands for emphasis. A lot had actually happened in that room, but none of it was his business. "I stayed on one side of the room and he stayed on the other." It was a vague version of the truth.

"Then why were you crying when I came in the room?" He countered.

"I was scared that something might have happened to you." I said and it wasn't a lie either I was afraid that he might have been bitten. But it also wasn't the only reason I was crying. He didn't have anything else to say. "Can I go to sleep now?" I asked letting sarcasm slightly taint my words.

"Yeah, fine. Just be careful." He called after me as I walked to the stairs. Merle was already asleep, or he could have been pretending again. I didn't care either way and continued past where Daryl was sitting on his bed to go to my cell. I changed into another set of sleeping clothes. I was sitting on my bed running my fingers over my arms applying gentle pressure to figure out where the most sore spots were when Daryl appeared at the door. He was nothing but a silhouette but I could tell it was him.

"Ya moved yer bed." He said quietly biting at his nails as he walked over and sat down next to me. I couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement.

"Yeah." I hadn't meant for it to come out as a whisper, but it did. I hadn't wanted to move my bed. Sleeping next to Daryl made me feel safe, but I couldn't continue to sleep next to him and let think that we were anything more than friends. Even though I wasn't sure if that's all we were.

"I know yer dad is mad at ya." He got a little fidgety "but ya can move back if ya want to." My stomach felt weird and I really wanted to tell him I would. _'Remember what I told ya'_ Merles voice popped into my head and I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the mattress.

"Don't see the point in it." I had to force the words come out of my mouth.

I could see half of his face in the moonlight and his brows where furrowed. "What do ya mean?"

"Merle knows. Has all along." I said opening my eyes to watch as his fist clenched next to mine. "I'm sorry." I said looking as his fist unclenched.

"For what?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know." I said and Daryl got up off the bed stopping again at the doorway.

"Don't be sorry." He walked out of the cell and I heard him as he sat down on his bed. Despite all the shit bouncing around in my head I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Hey guys, sorry its taken me so long to get another chapter out, but i have been super busy working on my house. I only have four more weeks to get it livable and we dont even have plumming ran yet...yay. lol anyways I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think.

**Chapter 13**

I opened my eyes to see sunlight filling my cell. I had had a good dream and I was actually happy. That was until I realized that what had waked me up was the shrill sound of a baby crying. My happy mood instantly faded as memories from the previous day started flying around in my head. Lori had died during child birth, Rick was and maybe still is on some kind of walker killing spree, T-dog had been bitten then killed by Merle, I had broken off my fake relationship with Daryl and I had been stuck in a room with Merle for a long time. A time during which we had a long conversation about a long list of topics. One of them being Daryl.

I heard the tapping of boots as they made their way to my cell. I sat up on the side of the bed and ran my hands through my hair. "Hey." My dad stepped into the doorway leaning one the bar frame. "How you feeling?" I stood up and examined the bruises on my arms.

"Well, I'm not dead." He crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath. "Other than a few bumps and bruises, I'm fine." I answered seriously to satisfy him and stood up.

"Okay, good. Hershel's down stairs, he wants to check your blood sugar again." He walked closer to stand in front of me. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "You really scared me." He said sincerely. "The next time you are feeling sick or off in anyway, please don't hesitate to tell me. Okay?" I swallowed a lump in my throat as I nodded and he pulled me into a too tight hug.

I waited for what felt like forever for him to let go, but he didn't. "Hey dad, I love you, but I can't breathe." I said and he released me.

"Sorry." He gave me a pat on the shoulder before he left my cell. I dug through my clothes and chose a black shirt with a white design on it with the words Tapout on it and a pair of worn jeans. I changed quickly and pulled my hair back up into its usual ponytail before I went down stairs where Hershel was standing over a pot of food.

"Hey. You feeling better this morning?" he asked and I answered him the same sarcastic way I did Dad. He unlike Dad laughed at me. He checked my blood sugar then handed me a bowl of warm oatmeal demanding that I eat it. I wasn't going to argue, because my stomach was growling at me. He stayed with me until the baby started crying again. I was putting my empty bowl in the plastic tub with the others when he walked in with the tiny little girl in his arms.

I walked over to get my first real look the newest member of our group. "Hi little ass kicker" I cooed letting the baby grip my finger tightly. I laughed at her when she hiccupped around the pacifier in her mouth. "She's so tiny." I said in wonder taking in the blue eyes of the baby. "And beautiful." I snapped out of whatever spell the little girl had me under to look at Hershel. "Where are the others?" I asked.

"They are outside burning bodies." He said it like it was no big deal and it made me wonder how often they have had to do that. The baby started crying and wiggling in Hershel's arms. "Would you mind holding her wile I fix her bottle?" Hershel asked but he didn't wait for me to answer. He had already placed her in the crook of my arm and was walking to a table to fix her a bottle.

I looked at her and I used the pad of my thumb to wipe the little tears that slid down her face. Poor baby, she was motherless and now her father was on a walker killing rampage somewhere in the prison. But she had a brother and a small group of people who loved her. Hell I had only been holding her for two minutes and I already felt myself getting wrapped around here little finger. Her crying continued and with out thinking about it I started singing to her. "A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep. In dreams you lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling thru. No matter how your heart is grieving. If you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true." She had stopped crying and Hershel walked up with her bottle. He handed it to me and picked her pacifier up off of her chest where it had fallen while she was crying.

I put the bottle in her mouth and she started sucking away. Hershel adjusted the bottle while I held it. "You have to hold it up so that she doesn't swallow air." He explained. I was getting uncomfortable holding her and I shifted my arm trying to adjust. "Do you want me to take her so you can go help the others?" I thought about it for a minute before I handed her over to him.

"See you later sweet girl." I said as I headed out the door. I was still looking back at them when I walked out and slammed right into Merle. I stumbled back hating the fact that my breasts had pressed against his arm when I ran into him. Just because being stuck in a room with him had relived some of the tension between us didn't mean I liked being near him. I glared at him as I walked past him to my dad. "Hey dad, what can I help with?"

He dropped the legs of the walker he was pulling and looked at me. "Hershel gave you the okay to be out here?" I nodded and hummed out a yes. I looked at the walker. It was a female. She was wearing what looked like it was once a pretty yellow sundress. I tried not to think about who she once was and looked at dad when he started talking. "You can help me move the dead geeks into that pile over there." He pointed to a spot out side of the fences then I grabbed the walkers feet and dad took the shoulders then we started lugging the thing out to the pile.

"Why are we bringing them so far out?" I asked with a grunt as we dropped the walker. "Why not just burn then inside then fence?" I put my hand son my hips catching my breath.

"Hershel doesn't want to plant crops in walker infested fields." He said and we started walking back. We passed Merle and Daryl as we walked down the fenced in path. Daryl was nearest to me and as we passed he bumped his shoulder into mine. I turned around to look at him expecting him to do the same, but he didn't he just kept on walking like it didn't even happen. I brushed it off and walked back to the nearest walker in silence. I caught Dad looking back and forth between me and Daryl a few times and I wished that I could read his mind. Eventually Dad and Maggie switched places so that I was helping Maggie and he was helping Glenn.

"I know you're probably going to blow me off again like you do with most of the questions I ask, but what's going on with you and Daryl?" I didn't answer her right away. "I mean before yesterday you two were attached at the hip. But I haven't seen you say a word to him all day."

I wanted to tell her it was none of her business, but I also wanted to make friends here other than Daryl and Hershel. So I answered her the best way I knew how without letting everyone know our whole relationship was a sham. I didn't want the whole group to think I was just a big liar. "I don't know. I think he's mad at me, but I can't really tell."

"Who can ever tell what he's up to?" she asked rhetorically. "Why would he be mad at you?" she asked with genuine curiosity. I was glad that Daryl and Merle passed us carrying walkers so that I had time to think about an answer. Daryl looked at me when they passed giving me his usual blank expression. I glanced at Merle silently asking what was up, but he just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.

"I moved back to my cell." I answered her and she pulled a face. Crap she's going to ask another question and I'm going to have to come up with another answer.

"Why did you do that? I thought y'all were sleepin together." We passed Daryl and Merle again before we got to the pile and dropped the body onto it. I had talked to Maggie before and she seemed to be trustworthy so I decided to make this conversation a bit easier and tell her the truth.

I looked around making sure no one was around. "Can I trust you with something?" I asked her and she squinted back at me in the sun.

"Sure, anythin." She wiped at a bead of sweat on her brow before I answered her.

"I'm not sleeping with Daryl, I never was." She looked at me confused.

"That would explain some things." I didn't say anything back so she continued talking. "Like how you blew off our questions." I noticed that she made a face when she said our and I wondered if she couldn't make herself say Lori's name. We started walking back to the yard. She asked me a few more questions about Daryl and me before we changed the topics to mundane things that really didn't matter anymore. Like what kind of music I liked, favorite nail polishes and famous actors that were probably walkers.

"Jacob or Edward?" she asked as we stood back and watched Dad, Daryl and Glenn set fire to the large pile of bodies. I gave it some thought before I answered.

"Neither." She looked at me weird. "They are both just silly boys fighting over an unattractively pail and overly skinny girl." I explained like it was the most obvious answer.

"Oh come on they are both incredibly attractive. You have to choose one." She argued the issue looking at me like I was stupid.

"I like more of a Sam Elliot type of guy." Her reaction to that was hilarious. She sounded like she choked on something, and she patter her chest.

"I'm sorry what? I thought you said you like Sam Elliot." She patted her chest a couple of times looking at me like I had just said that I liked ogres or something.

I laughed at her reaction. "I did say Sam Elliot. He's one sexy old guy." She started laughing at me and called me gross for liking old guys. "It's not his looks I like; his voice would make any girl weak at the knees." She rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip.

"Come on your getting off topic. Jacob or Edward?" she asked and I heaved out a sigh.

"Okay fine Jacob, He's got the better abs. Edwards are way too pail and hairy." She laughed and agreed with me.

Beth Maggie and I had spent the rest of the day inside taking care of the neglected laundry and dishes while talking turns caring for Little Ass Kicker. The name Daryl had given the precious little girl had stuck. Even Beth had called her that a couple of times. I was holding her humming rock a by baby when the men returned from seeing what they could do about getting the ground ready for planting. Hershel told us all that it was going to take a lot of manual labor without the right farming equipment, but that it could be done.

Daryl hadn't spoken to me all day so it surprised me when he walked over and sat down by me. My heart skipped a beat before I realized it was only to take the baby from my arms. He turned all of his attention to the little bundle and started cooing to her. I expected Merle to say something or make fun of his brother for being a softy, but he didn't. When Daryl still didn't talk to me I decided that I needed air and went outside not caring about Rick's rule about having to leave the prison in pairs.

I didn't know why, but it was really bothering me that Daryl wasn't talking to me. I knew I needed to distance myself from him, but I didn't want _this_ much distance. I was still deliberating a lot of things that Merle had told me in the room that had nothing to do with Daryl and the stress of it all despite my somewhat light mood earlier had faded letting reality catch up with me. Merle had said that he was messed up on some kind of drug and didn't even remember what happened behind the bus. He even apologized several times and said that he would never touch me again. He didn't neglect throwing in that he would have no problem doing it again with my permission. When he said that I involuntarily puked my guts up into the corner of the room. I thought that made my answer to that pretty clear and he seamed to get it. I didn't know rather if not to believe any of it. Everything he said could have been complete bull shit for all I knew. What was throwing me off was how genuinely honest he seemed to be about everything. I would always have a certain hatred for him, but I still couldn't keep myself from wondering if any of it was true. The only person here that I could even consider asking would be Daryl, and he wasn't speaking to me.

"You're not supposed to be out here alone." I jumped and gasped nearly having a heart attack.

"Rick, you scared the hell out of me." I said with a hand on my chest as I looked up at where he was standing beside where I sat with my back against the brick of cell block c. he just looked at me. "I know, but-"

"But nothing do you want to get yourself killed to!?" he asked sounding kind of panicked. He ran his hand through his hair looking off in the distance at something that I apparently couldn't see. I didn't know what to say back. I was rendered speechless. I hadn't seen him since the day before everything happened and I hadn't spoken to him then. Now all of a sudden he pops up out of no where griping at me for being outside alone? What was I supposed to say?

I blinked up at him and I hated the words that came out of my mouth because the irritated me when someone had asked me, but I couldn't help it. "Rick?" he tore his eyes away from what ever he was looking at in the distance. "Are…you okay?" I asked as I stood up. He squinted his eyes and turned his head to the side looking at me. The way he looked at me sent a spark of fear through me. I was afraid he was going to lash out of me so I started to take a step to the side, but before I knew it Rick's lips were on mine and he pushed me hard against the brick of the building. I tried to wiggle my way out of his arms but all I managed to do was rip the back of my shirt and the skin underneath on the rough brick.

Fear, adrenaline or the fact that Rick was weak from 24 hours of not eating and killing walkers gave me the strength to push him. "Get off of me!" he stumbled backwards. He looked scared for a second before it was replace by anger. "What is the matter with you?" I asked in disbelief of what just happened.

He didn't answer me. He just stared off into the night in the same direction as before. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He was whispering out apologies, but I got the feeling they weren't for me. He started walking off in the direction of the invisible thing letting his empty hands swing at his sides. I waited until he had disappeared into the shadows before I dropped back down to the concrete scratching my back even more as I slid down the wall. I winced from the pain but I didn't mind it. It let me know I was still alive, because I was starting to feel numb after what just happened.

Light tears where sliding unwanted down my cheeks so I forced myself to stop. Crying doesn't help anything. It doesn't bring back the dead, heal the hurt or turn back time. It does nothing but make my eyes hurt and announce to everyone that I still sometimes wished that I had been successful in ending it all in the lake. But that wasn't reality; I needed to keep on living for my dad's sake. So I picked myself up off the cold concrete dusted myself off and went back inside. I walked over to my dad and side hugged him and told him goodnight. I had made up my mind that I would try to hug him at least every other day.

I didn't bother telling everyone else good night, but Maggie smiled at me when I walked past her and I tried my best to return it, but I think she could tell that something was off. I ignored it and went upstairs and into my cell not noticing that Merle was lying in his bed. I took off my shirt feeling how the fabric, sticky from the fresh scrapes, peel off on my back. I held up the shirt in the light of the battery powered lantern examining the tears in the back of it. I silently hoped that the rips in the black shirt had been masked from everyone's view by the dimness of the building at night. I didn't know how many cuts or scrapes I had from the wall but my back was burning and the cool air in the room touching my naked back felt good on it. I pored water onto a clean rag and blindly wiped at my back to clean it.

"Holey hell. What happened to ya?" A familiar gruff voice filled my cell and I jumped around to face the door covering my front with the shirt in my hands. "Don't worry. Ya ain't got nothin I haven't seen before" I didn't move the shirt and glared at him.

"That doesn't make it right." He snorted but turned around for me to put on another shirt. I grabbed a random one in a rush to get covered up and I could feel the blood still seeping out soak into the fresh shirt. "You can turn around now." He turned around and made an amused face at my shirt. "What do you want?" I asked aggrievedly.

"Well I came in here to ask something about Daryl, but now I'm interested in how you got those scrapes on your back." He answered matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Come on sugar ya know ya want to tell me." He said in a teasing voice that made me want to hurl.

"It's none of your business. It's nobody's business." I said and he smiled at me wickedly.

"If you don't want people to know about them then you will tell me." He was really talking about black mailing me? How low. Oh wait look who I'm talking about.

"Merle, just go away and leave me the hell alone." I said getting agitated.

"Awe sugar don't be that way ole Merle's just trying to help ya." He was still leaning on the bar doorway onto the cell. I was about to tell him where he could shove his help when Daryl walked up and kicked his brother in the ass.

"Leave 'er alone." He said bluntly and Merle walked away grumbling something under his breath. Daryl gave me a single nod. "Night." He was about to walk the short distance to his bed but I stopped him.

"Daryl?" He turned to look at me. "Can ...can I talk to you for a minute?" He didn't say anything but he walked into my cell to stand in the corner. I wanted to ask him about Merle but that subject could wait. "Have you seen Rick since...he disappeared?" I could see him shake his head in the dim light of the lamp. "Has anyone else?"

"No, why?" I could tell he was uncomfortable.

"Because I did, while I was outside." I took a deep breath. "He scared the shit out of me. He snuck up on me then started getting mad at me for being out alone and asked if I wanted to die to."

He looked passive. "So? Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm afraid he has gone insane." He looked at me like I was stupid and snorted.

"I'm serious Daryl. He was acting off. He was staring out in the darkness like there was really something there. He was talking to no one." He didn't say anything and I let out an aggravated growl as I sunk down on my bed. "You know how I told you he kissed me?" I didn't wait for him to answer. "Well he did it again and it fuckin hurt. Have you ever known him to hurt anyone before? Or am I the one going crazy here?" By the time I was done talking I had pulled my legs up onto my bed and had my knees hugged to my chest.

Daryl huffed out a breath before he sat down on the bed next to me. "I've seen him kill people before, but I ain't ever seen him hurt a woman."

"Well I'm not sure how that makes me feel." It was quiet between us for a while and before I could stop them the sentence I had been thinking all day flew from my mouth. "Are you mad at me?" I kept my eyes on the ground after I asked.

"No." His answer was as simple as that and I wasn't going to question it. Just knowing that he wasn't mad at me was enough. He put his hand on my shoulder causing me to flinch both from the unexpected touch and the new sores. He froze not moving his hand as his always squinting eyes explored my face. He drummed his fingers on my back and I couldn't help the noticeable tension that filled my body. "What are you leaving out?"

He sounded aggravated so I thought telling him would only make him more aggravated.

"The same thing I didn't tell your brother ten minutes ago."

"I'm not him you can tell me." He argued. I didn't want him to know I was hurt. "Tell me or I'm making you tell your dad."

"What is it with you two and blackmail?" I said the words without thinking them. And I didn't give him time to say anything about it. "I scratched my back on the bricks trying to get away from Rick." He huffed out a breath of air and mumbled something about me having a target on my back that he didn't think I could hear.

"At least clean them with something." He said handing me the still wet rag.

"I tried, but I can't tell what I'm doing or where the scrapes are at." I said trying to get him to just leave it alone and go away.

He stood up off of the bed "I'll go get Maggie."

"No." I said a little too loudly and he turned to look at me. "I don't want anyone else to know about this. I don't need a bunch of grieving people worrying about me. I didn't even want you or Merle to know." I explained frantically.

He let out a ragged breath. "Alright fine. I ain't gonna tell anyone, but I ain't sure it s the safest thing."

I didn't get what was so unsafe. Yeah I guess it was possible for the cuts to get infected, but for some reason I wasn't worried. It could have been the thought that there were worse things out there than infected wounds. It also helped that I believed there was something good waiting for me on the other side if I did die. I knew I would go to a place where I could see my mom, grandmother, grandfather and the baby brother I never got to meet.

"Come 'ere." He motioned for me to come closer and when I did he turned me around by my shoulder putting my back to him. "Lift yer shirt up." I spun around to gape at him.

"What? Why would I do that?" I asked like I thought he was crazy. He blew air through his nose grabbed my shoulders and turned me back around.

"Someone needs to care for those cuts and you won't let me tell anyone else. It's me or Merle. Your choice." I knew from his tone that there was no way around this. It was either let him clean my wounds or my dad know what happened between me and Rick.

"Fine." I pulled my shirt over my head but I left my arms in the sleeves so that the shirt completely covered my front. He grabbed a chair and I sat in it backwards leaning forward resting my chin on the back of it. I was incredibly uncomfortable being this exposed in front of him. I knew he had seen me completely nude before, but this was different. He hadn't touched me before.

"Me or Merle?" Did he even really have to ask? I didn't want Merles hands anywhere near me.

"You." I said tiredly. "And don't get any bright ideas." As soon as the words left my mouth he pressed the cold rag to a sore on my lower shoulder blade. I sucked in a sharp breath through my teeth and turned my head to glare at him. He was a bit gentler as he cleaned the wounds across the top of my back. I was just starting to relax when he moved to clean a cut that was just above the line of my pants and I tensed. He was taking his own sweet time cleaning it and I was itching to get away from him. "Are you done yet?" I asked through clenched teeth. I felt the cloth as it moved away from my skin and back to a cut on my shoulder.

"This one started bleedin again." It bugged me that he ignored my question. Before I knew I knew it Daryl's hands where on my shoulders and a memory from a dream flashed through my head Tomas's hands sliding up my shoulders to encircle my neck and squeeze the life out of me_. _It suddenly felt like Daryl's hands where made of molten steel burning my skin where they sat. Every muscle in me tensed and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Instead of choking me he squeezed my shoulders digging his thumbs into my tensed muscles. The muscles involuntary relaxed but the rest of my body remained tense. I was grasping the chair so tight that my knuckles turned white. His hands kept kneading my muscles. "Relax. I'm not gonna try anything." I didn't listen and he could tell. "You trust me right?" I nodded. "Then relax." I let him work my shoulder muscles until my entire body had relaxed. He hit a particularly tight spot and a moan escaped my lips. I realized that I should make him stop and that what was going on might give him the wrong idea, but what he was doing felt too good for me to argue. My moan must have sparked something because he started seeking out the tightest spots on my shoulders and upper back working around the scratches. He was rewarded with an involuntary moan from me each time he massaged away a knot.

It wasn't until his hands worked their way to my lower back that I was snapped back to reality. He hit a ticklish spot on my back close to my side and I jerked stifling a laugh. His hand froze in place for a minute but as soon as he moved his hand he hit my ticklish spot again. I reacted the same as before except a small giggle managed to escape me. I heard him chuckle before he let his fingertips purposely graze my side. I giggled and tried to wiggle my way away from him but he bore down on my sides tickling me so much that I couldn't even fight back. "Daryl, stop." I said through my laughing but he didn't. "St-op." He kept tickling me and I kept wigging under his grasp until I fell off of the chair. I landed on all fours and my shirt fell down my arms. Into a pile around my hands.

I quickly sat up and pull my shirt back on. I stood up and looked at Daryl where he stood biting his nails. I put my hands on my hips still trying to catch my breath. "Don't you know you're supposed to stop when a lady tells you to?" I asked playfully and he shrugged. I put my hand on my chin drumming it thoughtfully. "Hmm how can I get you back for that?" I looked him up and down trying to think of a way I could. I didn't know if he was ticklish or not and I didn't know what I was going to do if he wasn't. I walked closer to him tapping my chin as I circled him. He watched me curiously when I walked around him and continued around one more time stopping behind him. I waited for him to move but he didn't. I lifted my hands thinking about grabbing his sides to see if he was ticklish.

My hands were inches form his sides and I was about to grab him when he quickly spun around and grabbed both of my wrists. He held them loosely down at my sides and his face was inches from mine. I would say he didn't scare me, but that would be a lie. I tried to read his face to see if he was angry or just messing with me. I couldn't tell so I forced the fear out of my face and body. I glared at him and let a smile tug at the corners of my lips. His lips pulled into a smirk as he released my wrists and took a step back. I took this as my opportunity to tickle him so I lunged forward and grabbed his sides. I was rewarded with a grunt followed by a chuckle before he managed to pull my hands off of his sides.

So he is ticklish. He was smirking at me as he once again held my wrists. "You really shouldn't do that again." He warned shaking his head at me looking wickedly cute in the light of the lamp sitting at our feet. Omg did I just admit that I think Daryl's cute?

"Oh?" I asked mockingly. "And what are you going to do if I do?" his grip on my wrists loosened a bit.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." He was trying to scare me again by looking intimidating and using a low gruff voice but all it did was make me want to know what would happen even more than I already did. Deep down something told me he wouldn't hurt me. But I also knew that I shouldn't be playing this little game with the bother of the man that raped me.

I wanted to know what would happen if I tickled him again more than I cared about what the consequences of it might be. I ripped my wrists from his hands and grabbed his sides again. He grunted again and chuckled. He let me tickle him more then before but it still came to an end all too quickly. He tore my hands away from him and held them firmly between us. He had a mischievous look in his eyes and a smirk on his face. "I warned you." He said gruffly before he grabbed my sides again. I yelped from the surprise and couldn't hold back the laughter that flowed from my mouth as my legs gave out and we fell to the floor. The sound of our laughing mixed together to create a sound that I couldn't help but love.

"What the hell are you two doin in there?" Daryl stopped his assault on my sides to look at his brother standing in the doorway of my cell. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Daryl with his hands still on my waist and a smile on both of our faces. "Just sleep with her and get it over with." He said dismissively and walked away. I caught a glimpse of a blush on Daryl's cheeks before he turned away from me to stand up. He reached out a hand to me and I took it. He pulled me too hard and I slammed into his chest. I looked up at him letting my chin graze his chest as I did. He still held my hand in his warm callused one.

He didn't release me and I didn't mind. I shouldn't be enjoying this. I should be having fun with the brother of a loose cannon. And on top of that Lori had just died, Rick's screws had came loose, there was a new little and endangering member in the group, and being around Merle constantly had my nerves on edge. But at the moment I felt invincibly happy and worry free which is something I hadn't felt in a long time. Daryl squeezed my sides quickly a couple of times making me jump back a little. I glared up at him when he laughed. I made an attempt to grab his sides but he was quicker than me and grabbed my wrists holding down to my sides. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Are you having fun?" I asked statistically.

He shrugged and bit his lip. "Maybe." He seemed to be slowly fading back into the simple answer guy I first met instead of the playful one who was just tickling me. I let a smile tug at the corners of my lips. "You?" His voice was quiet and rough. I couldn't help but like the sound of it.

"Eh, maybe." I shrugged one shoulder and smiled up at him. "Thanks." He looked at me and I could tell he was going to ask what I was thanking him for. "For the message, for getting me out of my head. For...being nice to me even though I was horrible to you when we first met." I was being completely honest. I was thankful for everything he had done for me.

I didn't think a simple thank you was sufficient enough so without thinking about it I stood on my tip toes and planted a simple kiss on his left cheek. When I looked up at his face I could tell that he hadn't been expecting that. "Yer welcome." I almost didn't hear him he was so quiet. How the hell could he be so out going one minute and completely shy the next?

I yawned then turned my back on him and walked over to my bed placing a hand on the ladder to the upper bunk. I turned back to see him still standing in my cell. I couldn't help but smile at him. "Good night Daryl." I said letting him know that I was going to bed and he should do the same.

He turned to walk out but stopped and turned back. He picked up the lantern that was on the floor, walked past me and sat it at the head of the top bunk. I thought he was walking out but he stopped in front of me and looked at me like he was debating on rather or not he wanted to say something. "You have a nice laugh." I smiled at him as he walked out of the room. When he was gone I pulled myself up onto the bed and laid down not letting the stupid smile leave my face. I listened as Daryl say down on his bed and the thud of his boots being dropped to the floor after he pulled them off.

"Really bro? You have a nice laugh?" I heard the higher pitched gruff voice of Merle ask. I heard Daryl tell him to shut up letting his embarrassment taint his voice. Merle laughed "Oh yeah that's a real panty dropper."

"You catch more flies with honey you jack ass." Oops I didn't mean to say that out loud. Oh well too late now.

"You should take your own advice." Merle said but I didn't get to say anything back because the annoyed voice of Glenn floated up to us.

"Good god will y'all please shut up up there the rest of us are trying to sleep." I laughed to my self as I turned over in my bed facing the wall and drifted off to sleep thinking about how Daryl's scruffy cheek felt against my lips.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys I dont know how great this chapter is going to be and I'm sorry that it has saken me so long to get this one out. Anywho please tell me what you think.

Chapter 14

"Come here." Rick and I were standing in a expensive looking room. A sliding glass door opened up to a beautiful beach shimmering in the moonlight. A king size bed covered in a fluffy, creamy white comforter sat behind him. He held his hand out to me and I took it willingly. He pulled me into his warm chest where I snuggled my face into him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and settled a hand on the back of my head threading his fingers into my brown waves. I felt his warm breath skid across my hair as he spoke. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't have to deal with this." I pulled back to look into his blue eyes. They were filled with sympathy and for once I didn't mind. "I wish Hershel could just get rid of it."

I shot straight up in bed breathing hard. I crossed my legs sitting Indian style and ran my hand through my hair. "Why was I dreaming about Rick? What was he talking about getting rid of?" I asked myself quietly.

"I don't know," I jumped at the sound of his voice and flicked on the lamp that was still at the head of my bed. "But you were moanin and pantin somethin awful." He faked surprise. "Were you dreamin about doing the dirty with officer friendly?" I felt heat rising to my cheeks.

"No." I said with an eye roll. He flashed a big smile.

"Ooh I think you was." He said thrusting his hips jokingly. I rolled my eyes at him again knowing it would be pointless to argue that he was making that up. There had been nothing sexual about my dream. The stupid thing felt more like a warning than anything else.

"Merle, just go away." I said climbing down off of the bed. As soon as my bare feet hit the floor my stomach lurched. I made a bee line for the door with my hand over my mouth. I was aware of Merle running behind me and soon others where trailing behind us. As soon as I was out of the building I removed my hand and let my body take over. I doubled over letting what little was in my stomach come up and land on the cement burning my throat as it did. After nosily dry heaving several times I stood up and pressed the back of my hand to my mouth. "Gross."

"Not exactly the word I would have used." I turned around slowly to see Merle Hershel and Dad standing behind me. My dad walked over to me and put a hand on my four head.

"Have you been feeling bad again?" He asked looking me over.

"No. I was feeling fine one minute and the next I had the sudden urge to...ya know." I said gesturing to the ick behind me. I kept a close eye on Hershel to see if he had any reaction to what just happened. He didn't his face remained blank making me wonder what was going on in his head. "I haven't felt light headed or anything." I explained but Dad insisted that we have Hershel check my blood sugar again just to make sure. We walked inside to see that everyone else was awake and moving around the prison. Hershel tested my blood.

"Well this is saying that your fine." He said throwing away the stick. He turned back to the group addressing everyone in the room. "We need to go on a supply run. We are getting low on a lot of supplies."

I looked over to where Daryl sat with a quiet baby in his arms. "I'm in." he said not looking up from the little girl. Maggie, Glenn, my dad and I all volunteered to go with him. We all ate grits while Hershel made a list of stuff for each of use to get. When I was done eating I ran up stairs, changed into a pair of worn jeans and a black tank top with a faded red plaid button up over it. I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. When I got back down stairs everyone was already heading out the door and I had to run to catch up.

We walked over to a green car while Daryl veered away from us and headed over to a old motorcycle. I opened the back door of the car and watched as Daryl threw his long leg over the motorcycle. He noticed me watching and smirked. "You want to ride?" I shook my head and got in the car. The ride was long and quiet so I was happy when we finally slowed to a stop in front of a small shopping center. It contained a small pharmacy, a dollar general store and a few other random places.

Maggie and I headed to the pharmacy and the others headed elsewhere. I went to the isle with a number one hanging over it. I grabbed a shopping basket off of the floor and started grabbing whatever was lying around that looked useful. There wasn't much to get. From what I could tell the place had already been looted.

I rounded the corner of the shelf and came face to face with a walker. It lunged at me but I was faster and took a step backwards before I slammed my knife into its skull. It fell to the floor with a loud wet thud. Maggie appeared from around the corner. "You good?" I nodded and she disappeared again. I looked at the untouched products that remained on the shelf and wrinkled my nose. It was nothing but condoms and other sex related products. I continued walking until I came to the feminine products. I picked up a box of tampons and looked at it trying to figure out if I was going to need them anytime soon…Holy Crap…

My mouth fell open and I dropped the box to the floor. I couldn't be sure how late mother nature was, but I knew it should have happened by now. I ignored the terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and picked the box back up. If I couldn't use them then one of the other girls could. I looked around to make sure Maggie wasn't watching before I backtracked to the sex section and picked up a pregnancy test. I felt tears stinging my eyes and a lump in my throat. But I swallowed the lump and willed the tears away. I set the shopping basket down and pulled my backpack off. I unzipped it and tossed the pregnancy test in along with two other brands and a couple of boxes of condoms. I quickly zipped it back up with shaking hands and threw it over my back.

I had took a step out of the door when an arrow flew inches from my face and into a walker three feet away from me. I walked over to it, put my boot on its head and jerked the arrow out. Daryl walked over to me. "Might wanna watch where you shoot those damn things." I growled as I slammed the arrow into his palm, walked past him and threw my basket in the trunk car. I could feel people eyes on me, but I didn't care. Let them think what they want to think.

After a few more, numb and hasty on my part, trips into the stores Dad announced that we had gotten everything on the lists. We all walked around the car to get in. I glanced one time at Daryl already feeling bad for snapping at him. He didn't look as enthusiastic this time when he asked "You sure you don't want to ride with me?" I thought about it. If I rode in the quiet car with the others I would be stuck listening to my own thoughts, but if I rode on the back of the loud ass motorcycle maybe I could block all that out. I wasn't in the mood to tell him I had never ridden a motorcycle before, but I guess he sensed it because before he started it he gave me a short one sentence lesson. "Just lean whenever I do and you will be okay." I swallowed my fear and threw my leg over. He started it up and kicked off. My hands flew up to fist the back of his shirt and I felt him chuckle. After a little while of riding I relaxed and let my hands rest on my knees. I took in the scenery of the big field we were riding past. I could make out walker heads bobbing in the tall grass. I let myself wonder what it must be like to roam around lost and useless in an open field not knowing where or who you were. Then I realized that was how I felt. I was uncertain of where my life would be taking me and I felt like I was just wondering around in a field of the unknown. I didn't even really know who I was anymore. Before the world ended I was a nineteen year old college student who lived with her parents. Now I was just down right clueless.

Daryl's hand on mine brought me back to reality. He picked it up and placed it on his waist. I understood that he wanted me to hold on so I moved my hands to rest on his shoulders. I pulled my eyes away from the field and pressed my face into his back. I had been wrong about the noise of the motorcycle drowning out my thoughts. No matter what I'd did I couldn't stop thinking about what I was going to do if I was pregnant. There was no way to terminate the pregnancy. I had always been against abortion, but knowing that if I really was pregnant I would have a part of Merle growing inside me made me sick and brought back all the memories of what happened behind that stupid bus. I gripped Daryl's shoulders and pressed my face harder into his back willing away the tears that threatened to spill over.

Before I knew it we were back at the prison. Daryl pulled up behind the green car and killed the bike. I stumbled when I tried to stand up. Riding the motorcycle for so long made my legs feel like I had been riding a horse for to long. A laughing Daryl caught my elbow to steady me. When I was stable again I started helping the others unload the trunk of the car. When we had the trunk empty my father drove the car around and parked it out of sight with the others.

I headed up stairs to get away from everyone. I threw my backpack onto my bed and just stared at it not wanting to open it and face what was inside. I had picked it up when I heard a knock on the bars of my cell. So I dropped it back and turned to see Daryl standing there with his brows drawn into a v as he chewed on his nail. "Ya mad at me?" with a quick burst of his gruff voice. I didn't mind answering his simple question, because it had a simple answer, but it was the follow up question that I was dreading.

"No, I'm not mad at you." I answered tiredly. My anger had settled enough that I was able to talk to him without my words coming out like knives.

"Then are ya mad at Maggie? Cause you've been pissed every since you walked out of that pharmacy." He took a few steps in and dropped the hand that he had been biting at to his side. "I figured it was cause I almost shot ya." He added letting his apology fill his voice.

"I'm not mad at Maggie and I'm not mad at you. The arrow thing was my fault. I should have been watching where I was going." I explained hoping that he would go away now that he knew that I wasn't mad at him or Maggie. But, come on, when has that ever worked in the past?

"Then who got your panties in a twist?" Wow I hadn't heard that expression since I was in Jr. High. His hand had made it back up to his mouth and I silently wondered if he had ever chewed his fingers raw.

"Look, no one has touched my panties. I'm just not having a good day and I don't really want to talk about it. Okay?" I asked letting how wore down I felt fill my voice and my eyes beg him to leave me alone. He dropped his hand nodded once and said a quiet "Kay" before he turned and left my cell. I kept my head in the direction he went and listed to the clanking of his boots as he walked down the stairs. When the sound faded I had no choice but to look back at the loaded backpack sitting on my bed.

Only god knows how long I just stood there with my brows furrowed and my hands on my hips just staring at the backpack. If I opened it I would be facing reality head on. I would be choosing to believe that I really could be pregnant. That I really could have the spawn of Merle Dixon growing inside me. I reached my hand out to pick it up when my father walked into the room. "Hey whatcha doin?" He asked nonchalantly leaning on the frame of the cell door.

My eyes darted quickly to the bag then back to him. "Uh...nothing." my voice was shaky and it came out as a question. My father caught on to my nervous look at the bag.

"What's in here?" He asked suspiciously as he picked up the bag. Before I could stop him he had unzipped the bag and the contents fell to the floor. "What the...?" He didn't finish his sentence as realization of what the box that he held in his hand contained. "That son of a bitch!" My dad hastily left the cell and I ran after him knowing his target was Merle.

"Dad no!" I called but he didn't stop his pursuit. "Damn it Dad stop!" I jogged up behind him and grabbed his shoulder but he shrugged me off, marched over to Merle, tapped him on the shoulder then sucker punched him when he turned around. Merle fell backwards against the wall as dad continued wailing away at his face. "Stop!" I shouted at him but he wasn't hearing me. Daryl and Rick came running into the room and skidded to a halt when they saw the commotion. I could see blood poring from Merles nose. I looked at the two men just watching my father beat Merle mercilessly. "Do something." I threw my hands in the air before letting the fall to my sides with a smack. Rick finally jumped in and pulled my father off of the bleeding man. I didn't realize until then that I was crying and I made no attempt to wipe the tears away.

"Some one want to explain what's going on here?" Rick asked with authority filling his voice as he look between us all. My lips where sealed and Merle was to busy wiping at his face and spitting blood onto the floor.

"Just giving this bastard what he had coming to him." My dad explained vaguely like no other explanation was needed. Rick had his hand protectively on the gun that was strapped on his hip as he glared at Merle. Then looked at my dad.

"I'm afraid your going to have to be more specific than that." He paused giving my dad a chance to talk but he didn't. "You have managed to live with him this long, what made you decide to beat the shit out of him now?" he asked calmly trying to get the needed information, but that is the moment all the men in the rooms eyes landed on the box that lay on the floor by my fathers feet.

Everyone was silent and their eyes where on me as they let it sink in. I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes as I looked around the room at their faces. Rick's face was hard and distant, Daryl's was blank which I had learned meant that he was hiding what he was really thinking. Dad looked down right pissed and Merle looked like a scared cat laying on the floor spitting out a spray of blood every once in a while. Their eyes on me felt like a weight pressing on my chest squeezing the breath out of me.

"I…" I was about to say I had to leave but that became self explanatory when I covered my mouth and ran for the door. I rounded the corner of the building then let it all come up. Once again hot tears streamed down my face, and bile stung my nose and throat. I braced my hands on the wall breathing hard and attempted to spit out as much of the disgusting liquid as possible. I expected people to follow me, but when I stood and turned around no one was to be seen and I could hear yelling inside the building. So I took advantage of the alone time and walked back to the bus. I opened the door and stepped inside. The smell of death hung heavily in he air. Apparently no one had thought to clean out the old bus.

I walked half way down and pulled myself up to sit on one of the sideways seats. I didn't know why, but this place made me feel safe. It was one of those places where even though it was nasty it was a sanctuary of sorts. I could think better here I guess it was because no one thought to look here because the most horrible experience of my life happened just on the other side of the wall. "Hey." Well no one but Daryl would think to look here for me. "How ya feelin?" he asked as he walked into the bus and leaned against the ceiling behind me. He was looking at me through his lashes nervously.

"Do you really have to ask?" I asked in my defensive smart ass tone. "I just ran out of the building and threw my guts up again for the gazillion time. I'm starting to think that I don't even need to take the stupid test." I said defeated running my hands through my hair that hung loosely around my face.

"Don't talk like that." I looked at him with squinted eyes. "Ya could just have a stomach virus." I made and aggravated sound and rolled my eyes.

"Daryl I'm a woman, I know the signs and I know what my body is telling me." I slid down off of the seat and sat down Indian style on one of the windows between the seats and leaned my head against what was once the floor. "I hate to sat it, but I _am_ pregnant with your brothers baby." After I said that his face changed slightly and I could tell he was once again holding something back. He didn't say anything as he pushed himself off of the wall and left the bus.

I was once again alone with my thoughts. So I began sorting them out. Problem number one, I'm pregnant. Nothing much that can be done about that. Problem number two, Merle Dixon is the father. Nothing could be done about that either unless I could change the past and that was impossible. And problem number three, the hole group probably knew that I now carried yet another threat to them. There was nothing I could do about any of the shit that was going on in my life.

I was sitting in the same spot Daryl left me in when I heard someone come into the bus. I was tucked away between the seats so I couldn't see who it was until Hershel's face came into view. "he didn't even try to hide the pregnancy test that was in his hand and I noticed a pill bottle in his other hand. He released a audible breath through his nose and crouched down in front of me. "Daryl told us where you where." I snorted. Of coarse Daryl ratted me out. "He only told because he is worried about you. We all are." I snorted again. "You know that's unattractive right? Its not polite for a lady to snort like a pig."

"Yeah? When did this world start caring about what is polite?" he frowned and I stopped talking and ran my hands through my hair wanting to pull it out. "Look, I'm sorry. I know your just trying to be nice, but…" I let the sentence drop and looked off to the side contemplating what to say. "I don't know what you expect from me. I don't know what you expect me to do if I'm pregnant which I'm pretty damn sure I am." I looked back to his calm blue wrinkled eyes bore into mine.

"I'm not expecting anything from you. Other than for you to take this test." He held the box out to me and I took it with a shaky hand. He placed his over mine. His unexpected show of affection towards me tugged at something in me and brought a lump to my throat. "You're not alone in this." That sentence alone brought a tear of relief to my face. "Now go behind the bus, take the test and we will take it from there."

I did what he said and walked back to where he sat waiting for me in the bus. I had wondered where my dad had been this whole time. While we waited for the test to be ready Hershel told me that my father was still in hysterics and had started beating Merle again. Rick had to lock him up in one of the cells to keep him from Merle. Eventually the conversation dwindled and my eyes wondered over to where the test sat on the side of one of the seats. I picked at my chapped lips as I watched Hershel pick up the stick and look at his. I knew by his face that the test was positive and it was confirmed when he flipped it over and revealed the letters that spelled "pregnant".

I already knew I was pregnant but the confirmation hit me like a ton of bricks. I started shaking and fresh tears slid down my cheeks. Hershel gripped my shoulder and made me look at him. "I know this is a shock, but I have something that you might find useful and no one will judge you if you use them." He handed me bottle. "they're abortion pills. I had my own suspicions that you might be pregnant so I had Maggie pick some things up at the pharmacy." I looked at him not knowing if I should be mad or relieved that he had Maggie get things. "they will work up to 63 days after your missed period." He paused and stood up. "I'll leave you alone to make your decision. Just don't stay out here to long or Rick will get mad." He said before he left the bus.

I stared at the bottle in my hand. I had always been against abortion, but being in the situation that I was made me reconsider all of my thoughts that I had ever had on the subject. The fact that Merles child was growing inside me disgusted me but the face that this child was half me was also flowing through my head. I wanted to get rid of the problem and take the easy way out but at the same time I didn't know if I could live with myself if I killed an innocent baby.

All in all I decided that the decision wasn't one I could make in one day. Hershel said that the pills would work up to 63 days after the missed period so I had plenty of time to make it. I stuck the bottle in my pocket and slowly walked to the prison not wanting to go back inside but knowing that I had to face everyone at some point. When I reached the building I laid my hand on doorknob at the same time Rick came outside putting me face to face with him. He muttered something about coming after me and stepped aside for me to enter the building.

To my surprise there was no group gathering waiting for me on the other side of the door. It was just Rick and Hershel. I found myself wondering where Daryl was then decided that it didn't matter. What mattered was my father and I was nervous about talking to him. I knew my father was angry, but I didn't know if he was just as angry with me as he was with Merle. "How's Merle?" I asked Rick who was still standing at the door of the building staring up with wide eyes at the ledge across the room. "Rick?" he finally looked at me. "I asked how Merle was." I said again and he cleared his throat.

"Uh his nose is broken and his lip is busted pretty bad but other than that he is okay." His eyes darted back to the ledge where he had been staring earlier. I couldn't figure out what he was looking at, but judging by the look in his eyes it was none of my business.

"Where's my father at?" I asked and he nodded his head in the direction of the cell block. Then started walking in the direction so I followed behind him. He led me to the first cell on the right where my dad was sitting in a chair close to the bars. It wasn't a pleasant sight seeing my father behind the bars looking like a man defeated. Rick didn't unlock the cell or offer to let me in which made me wonder just how bad my father had gotten while I was out. He left us to talk in private and I pulled a chair up to the cell and sat down. "Um, I uh." I was at a loss of words. How do you tell your father you are pregnant?

"You really are pregnant aren't you?" he asked with pained eyes. I could only nod as a tear fell down my cheek. "Its all my fault. Your suffering because of my bad decision." Aww crap not this shit again.

"Dad you have got to get over that. It was one bad decision that I forgive you for. You are not the one the blame there." He rolled his eyes, a façade that I knew all to well. It was silent between us for a while. Neither of use had any idea what to say to each other. Finally I came up with something to say. "If I talk Rick into letting you out of here are you going to try and kill Merle?" I asked in all seriousness.

"Depends. Do you want me to?" at first I thought he was joking, but when he didn't smile I realized he wasn't. "He deserves to die for what he did to you." I was emotionally exhausted and he wasn't helping things.

"I don't want you to kill him." I said tiredly. "He doesn't deserve to die. Be locked up in a cell maybe, but I wouldn't wish death on anyone. Not even Merle." I hadn't told anyone what Merle's excuse for what he had done was and I still wasn't sure that I believed him, but I wasn't going to let my father hurt him until I had that cleared up. "Promise me you wont hurt him and I'll see what I can do about getting you out of there." I said standing up from the chair but he reached through the bars and grabbed my hand.

I looked down at him and his eyes had changed from sad to pissed. "If they let me out of here I will kill him." His teeth were gritted. I had never seen my father this mad before, so I didn't go to Rick. I slumped back down in the chair and let out a sigh. "Hershel told me he gave you abortion pills." I looked at him to see his eyes boring through me. I thought Hershel would have kept that to himself. "Are you going to take them?" I just looked at him not having and answer to give. "Because you should. We don't need another Merle Dixon in this world." I realized then that my fathers thinking was even more muddled than mine.

"Dad, just get some sleep. Ill talk to you later." I got up from the chair and headed for my cell so I could be alone but the cries of little ass kicker filled my ears from the holding area and I found my feet carrying me to her. When I walked into the room Hershel was feeding the little girl while Rick spoke to Daryl about something. Daryl's face was hard and when they saw that I was in the room Rick shot me a small smile giving me the suspicion that they were talking about me.

"Come to ask for your fathers freedom?" Rick asked lightly and I walked over to the men. As soon as I was close to them Daryl spun on his heels and left the building. I shook off his hasty retreat and turned back to Rick.

"Actually no. I'd kinda like to keep the father of my baby alive." I said then immediately wrinkled my nose at the words that came out of my mouth. Rick must have understood what the face I pulled meant, because his turned to one of understanding. "Well if no one needs my help I'm going to go to my cell." I had turned to walk away but Rick gently laid his hand on my shoulder stopping me. I turned to face him expecting him to say something but he didn't. He was staring back up at the ledge. I rolled my eyes and walked away.

I had completely forgotten that I would have to pass Merle on the way to my cell. So I froze in place at the top of the stairs when I saw him laying on his mattress. I couldn't take my eyes off of his battered face. His left eye was swollen, his bottom lip was busted in two places and his right cheek was purple. I couldn't talk the only thing that left my mouth was a gasp. He opened his eyes to look at me. A small sad smirk spread across his lips. "Bet your happy to see me like this." His voice was rougher than usual then turned his eyes to the ceiling he couldn't have been more wrong. "Yer pops still locked up or do I attach my knife?" He asked examining the metal that covered his missing hand. "He almost killed me ya know." I just kept looking at his mess up face. "He broke my nose and three of my ribs." I didn't know about the broke ribs but I now understood why they locked my father up.

"Your safe. For now." I said tilting my head and shrugging one of my shoulders. He didn't say anything as I walked around and sat down on the floor Indian style leaning against the railing of the perch. He grunted as he adjusted in the bed and looked at me. I realized that I had a frown on my face.

He grunted again and laid his good hand on his wife beater clad stomach. "Ya don't look happy." I didn't feel like dignifying that with a response. "Figured ya'd jump up and down with joy when ya saw me like this." I still didn't answer how could I be happy about anything at that point? "Okay ya have to start talkin. Tell me yer happy that I'm in pain. Call me a jack ass. Yell at me...anything." he was practically begging to talk to him.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked putting my palms onto the floor beside me in a bracing manner as I leaned over to talk to him. "That I'm happy I'm pregnant with your child? That I'm happy that I have to make one of the most life changing decisions of my life? That I'm happy that I have the power to get rid of the "problem"." I air quoted the word. I had started speaking quietly but it quickly rose to yelling. It donned on me that me yelling at him was exactly what he wanted so I let him have it. "As much as I want to be happy that my father beat the shit out of you, I'm not, because what you did to me hurt me and made me hate everyone most specially myself. Multiply what you are felling physically right now by a million and it still wont amount to how I was and still am feeling on the inside. I wouldn't wish pain of any kind on anyone. Not even you." I was shaking holding back tears. He looked at me like I was crazy then I saw his face change as something in his head clicked.

"Hang on just one god damn second here." His raspy voice was hard as he made himself sit up grunting as he did. "What hell do you mean you have the power to get rid of the problem?" He squeezed his swollen eyes shut breathing hard.

I ignored his question when I noticed his face getting noticeably pail. "Merle I think you need to lay back down." I exhaustedly motioned to the mattress. He ignored me and repeated the question. "I'm not telling you until you lay down." He snorted. "Merle I'm serious you look like your gonna be sick and if you puke so will I and I'm tired of puking every five minutes." I had stood up and walked over to him as I spoke. I pointed to the bed with a hand on my hip. "Now lie down!" I said sternly. He looked up and me like he was a little kid who got in trouble but did as I said and lied down on the mattress with a grunt. He was quiet as the color returned to his face

.

"Now, tell me what you were talking about." I didn't answer and he was getting aggravated. "Damn it woman are ya are are ya not thinkin bout killing our baby?" He squinted at me like I was crazy. I couldn't make my lips move until the words our baby sunk in.

"Our baby?" I repeated my thought out loud with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, our baby and If ya think I'm going to let ya "get rid of the problem" then yer sadly mistaken." He sarcastically air quoted my previous words using them against me. I felt my face flushing in anger.

"Don't think, for one second that you have a say in this." I said standing angrily over him. He looked taken aback. "You took away that right when you _fucked_ me without my permission." I spat at him with both of my hands on my hips.

He opened his mouth then closed it and brought his brows down into a deep v. His faced relaxed to look pained. "I guess your right." He sounded defeated and looked away from me to the wall across from me. "But I wish you wouldn't kill it." His voice was so quiet that I almost didn't hear him so I pretended that I didn't and went to my cell.

I sat down on the bed feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. This is one of those times that having my mother around would make me feel so much better. Mom wouldn't tell me to keep it or kill it. She would just listen to me and give advice when it was needed. She would help me make up my own mind. I tear slipped down my cheek from thinking about her and I quickly wiped it away. Crying won't bring her back and it won't make this situation disappear.

My dad was telling me to get rid of it and merle was telling me to keep it. I would think that dad would be telling me to keep it and merle would be telling me to get rid of it. My father had always been a man of good morals so him telling me what he did threw me off, but what threw me off even more was the fact that Merle wanted me to keep it. Why on earth would he want to be a father? How could me keeping this baby possibly benefit him. I eventually pushed their opinions aside and settled down to lay on the bottom mattress. I just stared at the bottom of the bunk above me and I ended up drifting off into a restless sleep.

Please leave me a review. They are what keeps me writing.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Hi everyone, sorry it took me so long to get a new chapter out. My hubby finally came home for Four weeks you you can immagin why i didn't get much writing done. plus on top of that we recently found out that my mother has cancer in her lungs, Ribs, and sternum. If you are a religious person will you please pray for her?

**Chapter 15- anger and resolution**

"Damn it!" I shouted and grabbed my head. I had hit it on the top bunk again in the same place I hit it before. Warm liquid ran down my face so I swung my legs off of the bed and walked over to the mirror. There was a new half inch bloody gash right where the old one used to be. I looked around and saw a rag on the floor so I grabbed it and pressed it to my face as I looked out of the doorway of my cell.

The sun was shining brightly so I knew I had ended up sleeping all day and night. I kept the rag pressed to my head as I left the cell intending to search for Hershel. When I got to the stairs the gruff voice that I didn't like to hear stopped me. "Why ya got a rag on yer head?" it was a valid question so I decided to answer him. I slowly spun around and tucked my free hand into my pocket as my eyes landed on where Merle laid on his bed. If I thought he looked bad before he looked terrible now. Every bruise from the previous day was intensified overnight.

"I hit my head on the top bunk." I answered and he nodded once then sat up with a grunt. I remembered how his face paled when he sat up before and I took a step closer to him preparing to tell him to lay down.

"Well why'd ya do that?" he asked with a tone that suggested that I had done it on purpose and stopped me in my tracks.

"I didn't do it on purpose you _jackass_. I accidentally fell asleep on the bottom bunk last night." I explained not caring that I didn't need to explain myself to him. He looked at me like that wasn't a good enough explanation. "If you haven't noticed, I have a certain way that I wake up now thanks to a certain somebody." His face turned to one of realization. "Now if you'll excuse me my cut needs tending to."

I was bout to take a step down the stairs when he stopped me. "I could look at it for ya." I turned to look at him again. "Hershel and the others are in the yard preparin for plantin. They will be in in a few for breakfast, but I doubt ya wanna wait that long." I raised my eyebrows and shook my head at him. "And I can look at it if ya don't want to walk all the way out there." I don't know why but I was actually considering it. "Military medical training ain't the best but it gets the job done." Hmm walk all the way outside and across the yard and talk to Hershel or stay right here and show my forehead to Merle? What the hell, Merle is closer and he won't hurt me if he wants me to keep this baby.

I think it surprised him when I sat down Indian style in front of where he was sitting on his bed and looked up at him. He looked down at me and arched one of his eyebrows. I removed the sock and immediately felt blood slide down the bridge of my nose to my cheek where I caught it with the rag before it dripped on my shirt. Lord knows it doesn't need anymore of that on it. Merle brought his face closer to mine as he looked at the cut being careful not to touch me. "Don't think it needs stitches, but it does need to be cleaned and bandaged or it will get infected." I didn't take my eyes off his beaten ones as he looked down at me. Our eyes remained locked for a moment and what I saw in his made my heart involuntarily squeeze. I can't explain what it was other than a deep longing. A longing to do what? I don't know, but I know what ever it was wasn't anything that would hurt me.

He cleared his throat breaking the moment. "Do me a favor and grab that bag over there?" his voice sounded shaky but I wasn't going to say anything about it or think to hard about what just happened. I just got up and grabbed the bag he had pointed to then handed it to him making sure there was to skin contact. When he opened the bag I noticed several medical packages and liquids. I watched his strong hand as he pulled a cotton swab coated in dark red liquid out of its plastic packaging. He came at my face with it before he paused. "I'm going to have to touch yer face ya cool with that?" I closed my eyes and nodded my head growing nervous about my decision to let him doctor me. He lightly turned my face so that he had better access to the cut then started dabbing my head with the swab. Cold pain shot through my head and I pulled back as I sucked air through my teeth. "Sorry if it stings."

I kept my eyes closed and shook my head. "It's just cold." I explained and leaned slightly forward for him to know that he could continue. By the time he was done my wound was clean and has a steri strip across it. I had barley felt him touching me after the pain from the swab subsided and was surprised that he didn't bring up the baby. I wanted to, but I didn't know how to or what to say. So instead I mustered up the best smile I could and stood up. "Thanks."

He cocked a crooked grin back at me. "Any time." I didn't know what to say to that and I didn't what to read too much into what he may have meant by it.

Now that my cut was tended to I headed down stairs and stopped when I saw my father in the locked cell. I walked over to him not knowing what to say to him after how our last conversation went. All that came out of my mouth was a simple "Hey Dad." He looked up at me emotionlessly. "How are you?" I don't know what I expected him to say, but what came out of his mouth wasn't it.

"I'm locked in a fuckin cell and my little girl is pregnant with a rapist's baby. How the hell do you think I'm doing?" The way he was talking to me and how he called me his little girl pissed me off. I know that to a man his daughter will always me his little girl but this was different. It was like he literally still saw me as a child and I was getting tired of it.

"I'm not a little girl anymore. I understand that I will always be your little girl, but I'm twenty one years old I'm not a kid. Why can't you understand that?" I wasn't letting my anger at him show as much as I wanted to and the cries of little ass kicker made me look in the direction of the holding room. I felt my fathers hand slide over mine where it rested on the bars of the cell and squeeze it hard. My eyes shot back to him.

"Do you really want to listen to that for the next fifteen years knowing that it is your responsibility to care for it and yours alone? Because I can guarantee that that rapist won't do a damn thing to help you. Do you really want to bring another baby into this crazy ass world?" he heaved a breath through his nose as I just stared at him. "Do you want to take the chance of ending up like Lori, or the chance that a biter may get your child?" I didn't want any of that, but I didn't want to kill an innocent child either.

"I can deal with the crying. This world needs more babies, more life." I ignored his last couple of questions because I didn't want to think about them.

His eyes got big and tears threatened to fall. "You're keeping the baby?" I didn't say that exactly but I guess it could have sounded like that is what I meant.

I ran my fingers through my loose waves. "No, yes, no, damn I don't know! How am I supposed to make a decision like this?!" My face was twisted in frustration as I threw my hands up.

"It's easy; you listen to me and take the damn abortion pills. You have to kill this monster before it's too late." He was doing nothing but stressing me out, which was making my stomach churn.

"The thing is _Dad_, even though it has Merle Dixons blood running through its veins it's not a monster. It's a baby. A living and eventually breathing baby. And you know what? It has my blood running through it to. Did you think of that" I felt like punching him. "Tell me dad, could you kill your own flesh and blood? If I gave you a knife right now would you be able to ram it through my skull? Huh? Because that is basically what you are asking me to do." I wasn't really expecting him to answer, but he did.

"If I thought it was what was best for both of us, yes." At that moment tears threatened to fall but the anger was stronger than the sadness.

At that moment I made a choice, and it was the one I knew was the right one all along. "You know what? Screw you and anyone else who doesn't want me to have this baby!"

I left him and ran upstairs to my cell, scooped the bottle of pills off of the small table beside the bed and marched back down stairs with my head held high. "You can't have this baby!" my father yelled at me as I marched past him.

"Fuckin watch me." I spat back not even looking at him as I walked into the holding area where everyone was having breakfast. Merle and Daryl were sitting on the metal stairs and they gave me confused looks as I stood in front of them. "Merle, will you come with me a minute?" I asked a bit breathless form all the excitement. He looked at Daryl for an answer of if he should go with me. Daryl just shrugged. "Please?" I asked as nicely as I could given the mood I was in. He nodded once put his bowl down and stood up. As soon as he did I grabbed him by the hand and drug him into the cell block not caring that he was cussing me or that I was touching him. Both men started yelling at each other. "SHUTUP!" suddenly it was so quiet in the cell block that you could have herd a pin drop. "Now, Merle, would you do me a favor and hold on to these for me?" I held the pill bottle out to him and he slowly took it knowing what they were without looking at the label.

"Oh…kay…" Merle was all kinds of confused. "So you're keeping the baby?" a tinge of hopefulness flashed through his eyes.

"Yep." I said with a curt nod before I left the two men behind and went to set at an empty table. I heard my father and Merle arguing in the cell block, but I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. Hershel made his way to sit across from me and made a show of looking over my shoulder in the direction of all the yelling. He crossed his arms over his chest and raised one eyebrow at me. "What?" I asked as if it didn't feel like my world was falling apart even more than it already had. He shifted in his seat not answering my question.

"So you've decided to keep the baby?" there was no judgment in his voice. I hummed out a yes. He reached out his hand and took mine gently squeezing it. I could feel everyone's eyes on me but I didn't care anymore. Since I had came to this prison I had grown accustomed to being stared at like I was a one woman freak show. "Then there are a few things we need to discuss." I felt my stomach sink. Was he going to try and talk me out of it? "We will talk after breakfast?" he asked with raised eyebrows and I nodded as he stood up and walked away. I wasn't aware that the two men were no longer arguing.

I was about to stand up when a plate of hot mush was set in front of me. My eyes followed the arm that was attached to the bowl to the face of Merle Dixon. I pushed the bowl away and looked down at my hands. I heard the bowl move as he nudged it back at me. Using my peripherals I shoved the bowl back at him. I heard a sigh of aggravation then he plopped down in front of me. "Look I know you said I have no say in what you do, but…" he trailed off not finishing his sentence. "Just do us both a favor and eat something." He shoved the bowl back at me and I hesitantly picked up the spoon and started eating the warm malto meal. "Atta girl." He said with a genuine smile at me. Without thinking I felt the corners of my lips pull into a small smile.

"Be better with butter and sugar." I kept my voice flat and my eyes back to the food. "But thanks anyways." I found myself wondering for a brief second how he could look so happy before it hit me what he had to be happy about. The baby, he had wanted me to keep it. He was going to be a father, but you would think that that would give him reason _not_ to smile. How could someone be happy about becoming a father in the middle of an apocalypse? I was becoming a mother but I wasn't happy about it. So why was he so happy about becoming a father?

Everyone cleared out as they finished eating breakfast eventually leaving Hershel, Merle and me alone in the building, even little as kicker was out enjoying the sunshine. Merle never left the table after I started eating so Hershel had to nudge him out of the way to sit down so that he could talk to me. Merle frowned at him but didn't say anything in protest as he walked to sit on the stairs not far away. "Merle can you give us some privacy please?" He asked looking over his shoulder at the hovering man.

"Why? It's my baby to." Hershel didn't argue with him he just looked at me letting me make the decision of rather or not I wanted him there.

"Merle will you please leave. I told you before, you have no say." He once again frowned but didn't argue, but he slammed the door behind him on his way outside making me jump at the impact. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked pretending like I wasn't still shaken from how this day was going so far.

"Just the usual questions that a doctor would ask." He explained with a shrug. "I'm assuming that you have never been pregnant before?" he asked and I replied that I hadn't. I was too embarrassed to tell him that I had never even had sex before. He asked me several more questions until he came to one I couldn't answer. "Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?" I froze not knowing how to answer.

"I…I, uh." I heaved a breath through my nose and squeezed the bench I was sitting on. "I don't know." I said not looking up at him. How was I supposed to know if Merle had any STD's?

"Well, have you ever been tested?" Hershel asked his voice soft and kind. I shook my head no.

"I had never had any reason to before…all this." I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him, "I was a virgin." I blurted out so fast that I'm surprised that he understood me.

"Then that will have to be a question for Merle." He turned his head a looked at me sympathetically. "Do you want me to-?"

"No." I answered a little too quickly. "I'll ask him, it's my responsibility and I should have asked him sooner than this." He nodded and backed up. "But I never thought about it I didn't want to think about…" I trailed dropping the subject. "Do you have anymore questions for me?" I asked just wanting this whole…interview, to be over.

"No, well yeah, will you come outside and watch Judith?" I smiled at the question?

"She's Judith now?" Hershel smiled and nodded. "Wonder what Daryl thinks about the replacement name." I wondered out loud and Hershel laughed.

"I don't know and I don't want to." He placed his hand on my shoulder blade and smiled at me. "Let's go get some sunshine." He guided me to the door and I almost didn't want to go out. I knew everyone was going to be looking at me all sympathetic like and my stomach cringed at the thought. "You don't have to worry about what other people are going to think." I looked at him through the corners of my eyes wondering how he knew what I was thinking. "I told you before; we aren't going to judge you."

I stepped out of the door first and the sun busted me in the eyes. I had forgotten how dim it was inside the prison. Merles face came into view as my eyes adjusted causing my brief moment of happiness faded. "We need to talk." His words were blunt and to the point. He nodded his head in the direction of the old bus and started walking expecting me to follow. When he noticed that I wasn't following him he turned around and walked briskly back. He grabbed my upper arm and started pulling me behind him. "Yer gonna talk to me rather you like it or not!" I looked around and noticed people making their way to us, but I didn't want their help. I dug my heals into the ground and jerked my arm out of his grip. He turned on me red faced and nostrils flared. I was no longer scared of him. I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me because of the baby. "God damn it woman! Ya _will _listen to me!" he reached for my arm again and I quickly dodged it. I was aware of Daryl and Rick standing not to far behind me incase things got completely out of control.

"HA! I don't think I will." I said with fierce sarcasm. "I don't have to do a damn thing you say. You want to know why?" he just squinted at me with his face still red. "Because you are not my daddy, you're not my husband or my boyfriend. Hell you're not even my baby's daddy as far as I'm concerned." His face was getting redder with every word I said. He look like one of those cartoon characters who's heads explode when they get mad.

It almost made me want to laugh…almost. "You are nothing but a stupid redneck rapist Jackass. And I refuse to talk to you until you learn to treat me with a little more respect than you just did." I pushed around him not caring that he might reach out and stop me, but he didn't so I continued on my path to the over turned bus and climbed up not wanting to hide inside of it.

I had cooled my temper down and was lying on the bus getting some sun when I heard some one climbing up. I turned my head to the side and opened my eyes to see Rick's face pop up over the edge. "Hi." I returned the gesture with a small wave. "Can I join you?" I nodded and he finished climbing up then sat at my feet. "You're a strong woman." I sat up and looked at him like he was crazy.

"If I was strong I wouldn't be in this situation." He half laughed. "What?"

"That's not what I meant. I was talking about the way you handled Merle." How did I handle Merle other than in my usual smart ass style and hot headedness? "I don't think I know any other woman that would have stood up to him like that other than maybe Andrea." I had heard Maggie and Beth say that name a couple of times but I never knew who she was.

"Who's Andrea?" his eyes darkened a bit.

"She was a member of our group from the very beginning. She didn't put up with shit from anyone either. You remind me of her." He spoke so kindly of her.

"What happened to her?" I asked with genuine curiosity. He explained that she got left behind when the heard attacked them at the farm that they stayed at for a while. "I'm so sorry." I said as I shook my head and leaned in farther. "It really sucks when you get close to someone and they get taken by the walkers." I folded my hands in my lap thinking of the one time I let myself get close to someone after all this started.

"You and your dad lost people from a group?" he asked looking at me curiously. I swallowed hard and nodded.

"We were with a group in Atlanta for a long time." I didn't take my eyes off of my hands as I rang them in my lap. "I never really made friends that easily, even before the dead started walking. Believe it or not I used to be shy." He laughed but didn't say anything. "I ended up making friends with the leader, Guillermo." Rick suddenly sat up straight. "What?"

"Did you say Guillermo? As in the custodian that became leader of a bunch of elderly people?" I nodded not knowing what to say. "How long were you with them?"

"You knew him?" it was his turn to nod. "I didn't exactly keep count of how long we were with them, but maybe a month or more."

He looked concerned "What happened?" he was so interested that I almost didn't want to tell him what happened. I swallowed hard remembering my last moment with Guillermo before all hell broke loose.

"The whole place was over run. I don't even know if he made it out. My dad just drug me to the truck and we left." My eyes had drifted back to my hands as I spoke. I felt Rick's hand gently grip my chin and lift my face to look at him. I felt a tear slid down my cheek and he wiped it away letting his thumb hover on my cheek. I gently removed his hands from my face and placed them back on his knee and he smiled at me. "What?"

"You've grown up." I scooted back from him. "When we first met you would have let me touch keep touching you."

"People tend to grow up fast when they realize their responsible for another life." I said with a flat voice. I looked around at everyone else Glenn and Maggie were on the guard tower talking, Beth and Hershel were playing with little ass kicker Merle was leaning against a building watching the two playing with the baby and Daryl…where was Daryl? I started looking closer and noticed him sitting completely still on one of the guard towers with his eyes locked on Rick and me. He slowly turned his head to the right as if he was scanning the area, but I knew he was watching us.

"You're right, and no one would think less of you if you didn't keep the baby." I snapped my eyes back at him, not him to.

"I would." I leaded in closer to him, "I would never be able to forgive myself if I took the easy way out. Just because I've killed men that I knew where horrible people doesn't mean I'm a murder." He raised his hands as if he were surrendering.

"I didn't say you were I was just letting you know." I didn't realize that I had gone in to defense mode so I backed off.

"Sorry. I'm just tired of people telling me what they think I should do and I guess I felt like you to were telling me that I should abort it." He shook his head no.

"I would never tell you what to do. No one can make this decision but you and it seems like you set in your decision." I hummed in confirmation. He was about to say something else when he was interrupted.

"Yo officer friendly mind if I steal a moment?" I almost laughed at his question before I caught myself. My crapy since of humor recognized the fact that Rick was a cop and Merle was a bad guy asking if he could steal something.

"I don't think I'm the one you need to be asking Merle." Rick said with a sideways glance in his direction before he looked back at me. "Do you want to talk to him?" his eyes were intense when they snapped to look past me. I looked over my shoulder to see if there was a threat, but there was none.

"Yeah, ill talk to him." I said getting his attention back to me. He didn't say anything back, he just climbed down off of the bus and walked past Merle like he wasn't even there. I rolled my eyes to merle as he climbed the bus and stood in front of me. "What do you want Merle?" I asked exasperatedly. "If you think I'm going to let you drag me around again you're sadly mistaken." I felt a tinge of cockiness run through me. It had to have come from Rick's pep talk (if you could call it that).

"I'm not goin to let ya keep this baby from me. I'm its father and I'm tryin to act like it." His words made my throat burn with bile. "I don't wanna beg ya but I will if I hafta." I made a motion for him to continue and he raised his eyebrows at me. "Please cooperate with me here. Please let me have a bit of say in the choices ya make." Wow he said please twice I kinda liked the bit of power I seemed to have over him, but I knew that was wrong. I crossed my arms across my chest. "Come on I said please I ain't saying it again."

I heaved out a dramatic breath. "I'll think about it." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine ill let you voice your opinion, but that doesn't mean I will listen to it." He uncrossed his arms and a hit of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. My neck was starting to hurt from looking up at him. "Are you going to leave now? Because if you're not can you at least sit down?" I asked and I think it surprised him that I even offered for him to stay and I don't know why I did. I guess it was because he had already did what damage he was going to do and I was having his baby. I might as well try to get to know him a litter better, that and I guess I believed him about the whole he was drugged up thing. He said down and crossed his legs.

It was quiet between us for a while before I tried to get the conversation going. "I thought everyone was supposed to be getting the ground ready for planting." I looked over at him and he shrugged before he explained that Rick decided that everyone needed a day of relaxation. "Makes since." He grunted in agreement letting the conversation drop as we both just sat and enjoyed the sunlight. Then I remembered Hershel's question from earlier. "I have a question for you." He grunted again letting me know he was listening. "Do you uh…do you have any STD's?" it was the most awkward moment I had ever had with anyone and I didn't even really want to ask him, but I had to for the babies sake.

I watched him as he sat up from where he was leaning back on his arms. "No, why?" he looked at me through narrowed eyes before understanding registered on his face. "I didn't give ya anything if that's what yer askin."

I found my voice again after that. "I wouldn't have even thought to ask if Hershel hadn't asked earlier." I explained. He reassured me that we were both clean and I felt a tiny bit of the weight on my shoulders lift. It was once again quiet between us and I found my eyes wondering over to where Daryl sat on the guard tower looking like he had fallen asleep. "I think Daryl hates me." I said more to myself than to Merle." He laughed but I didn't remove my eyes from Daryl.

"He doesn't hate ya. He just doesn't know how to handle all of this. I don't think any of us do, but like I said before. Daryl ain't good with social stuff." I tore my eyes away from the younger brother to look down at my hands. "He'll come around eventually."

I was suddenly tired of sitting on top of that stupid bus so I stood up and walked to the side. I eased my self over and started climbing down when I felt a rough hand on my arm. I didn't jerk my arm away like I wanted to, but when I was steady on my feel I gazed up to see Merle looking down at me. "Thanks." I wanted to tell him that I didn't need his help and that I was a big girl, but I figured we had had a nice chat and I didn't want to end it on a bad note. I was walking across the field when I saw Rick heading my way and I audibly sighed. "Hi Rick." I said in what might have sounded like a flirting voice when it was really just and exasperated one.

"Hi." He stood in front of me and I walked around him so he started following me. "I was wondering if you wanted to play Frisbee with Carl, Beth, Maggie and me." I sighed and told him I would. So we spent the rest of the day just outside messing around and having fun. I found myself thinking about my father being out here with us, but I easily forgot about him when someone would make me laugh.

Daryl finally left his post at the guard tower when supper time was getting close and he and Merle left to kill stuff. They came back with two squirrels and a rabbit that I ended up cooking because everyone said they liked my cooking. Beth sang a slow sweet song while we all sat around waiting for the food to be ready. She continued the song until the food was ready then conversation picked up as everyone ate everyone ate. "Hershel played with the little girl until due started to set then he took her inside explaining that she shouldn't be out in the damp air. Everyone spoke kindly of the baby avoiding anything that would lead to questions about me and my situation. That was until they started talking about how much she looked like Rick. Then Merle opened his big mouth. "I wonder my child is going to look like her Father?" He had an unmistakable gleam in his eye that made my stomach twist with anger. It is not his child. He just smiled when I glared at him. The tension around the fire was eased when Rick jumped in.

"Lord I hope not that would be an ugly ass baby." Everyone including Daryl laughed as I sent a silent thank you to Rick who gave me a nod and a smile.

"Who said it's gonna be a girl?" everyone looked at Daryl who quickly looked back down at his plate of food. Merle laughed at his brother

"You know the family tree bro. Dixon men always have one girl then two boys." I looked eagerly between the two for them to continue their conversation, but they both let it drop and Rick Changed the subject all together. I noticed that Daryl looked kind of sad even though he was trying really hard to hide it. If I understood Merle right then the two should have a sister somewhere, but if that was right then where was she?

I was lost in though wondering if I really was going to have a little girl and thinking (though I would have never admitted it) that it wouldn't be so bad if she had her fathers blue eyes and blond hair. "Earth to Bay." Rick's voice finally broke through to me and I blinked rapidly at him. "Beth asked you if you wanted to sing."

"Oh, um I don't know." I looked around noticing the expectant eyes of not only Daryl, but Merle as well. "I guess I could, but I don't know what I would sing." I said hoping people wouldn't start suggesting stuff, but I was wrong. Everyone started suggesting songs that I of coarse didn't know. That was until Rick suggested a song that was originally sung by Sara Evans. I smiled at him remembering how I had once told him that I liked country music. "Okay um," I took a deep breath and dropped my eyes to the ground, "here goes." I knew I had sung in front if them before but I would never be able to get used to the sick feeling that came over me before the words started flowing from my mouth. "Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of the pain. But I brushed my teeth anyway, got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger." I chose that moment to look up. My eyes landed first on Rick who was smiled at me. I then looked to Merle and the look on his face made me quickly look away. I instead turned my eyes to the stupid bus as I sang. "Riding in the car to work, and I'm trying to ignore the hurt. So I turned on the radio, Stupid song made me think of you, I listened to it for minute, but then I changed it. I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger. And I'm done hoping that we can work it out, I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels. Letting you drag my heart around. And ohh. I'm done thinking, that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger." I finally made myself scan the group as I sang I couldn't help but smile through my words when I noticed Daryl watching me with the smallest of smiles on his face.

When I was done singing everyone remained quiet all just looking at me like I was the most amazing person in the world. When the silence finally was broke it was by Merle. "Wow I hope she gets your voice." I rolled my eyes along with everyone else. "What I can't be hopeful?" he asked and I got up and dusted off my butt.

"No, you can't. And I'm going to bed." I announced and headed to the building. "Goodnight everyone." Next thing I knew everyone was following me inside. I paid them no attention and went to my cell. I was changing clothes when Merle stuck his head inside my cell.

"Oh sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I'll come back later." He was about to leave hut I stopped him.

"No you can stay. It's not like you haven't seen me nude before." I said with a yawn and he laughed and reminded me that he didn't remember it. "Oh well to late now." I pulled my shirt over my head and started messing with my messy hair. "What did you want?"

The smile left his face. "I was wonderin if ya needed anything special, like medicine or something?" he looked like he was afraid that I might tell him to get out of my cell, but I didn't.

"The only thing I can think of that I need is prenatal vitamins." I finished putting my hair into a messy ponytail and dropped my hands to my sides. He told me good night then left. I heard him lay down on his bed not even bothering to take of his boots. It was then that Daryl stuck his head into my cell nodded once and told me good night. "Night." With that I climbed the ladder to the upper bed got comfortable then drifted off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Okay guys, this is a really shot chapter and I am sorry about that, but I am having problems figuring out exactly where I am taking this story and I cant figure out who I want her to end up with. As always reviews and criticism of all kinds is welcome. Enjoy.

**Chapter 16**-I Like Hugs?

I woke up in my usual style then went through my morning routine of changing clothes and getting my hair up off my neck in a decent looking hair do. When I walked out of my cell I noticed that both of the Dixon brothers were not on the perch. I didn't think anything of it until I got down stairs and was immediately hit with a tense vibe from the rest of the group who were all sitting around in the holding room picking at their breakfast. Rick walked over to me when I sat down at one of the empty tables. "Do you have any clue where Daryl and Merle went?" he asked with a faint since of hope about him, but that vanished when I shook my head. "Damn." He put his hand on his hip and seemed to be thinking really hard. "Neither of them said anything to you? Something that might explain where they went without telling anyone?"

At first I just shook my head and Rick looked disappointed as he walked away, but then something clicked and I sucked in a breath of air. "Actually," he turned to face me, "He asked me before I went to bed last night if there was anything special that I would need." Rick seemed to give me a look that said "and…?" "I told him the only thing I could think of was prenatal vitamins." I said with a slight shrug of my shoulder. What looked like anger came across Rick's face. "I didn't think he was going to take Daryl and run off to get them." I explained furiously hoping to calm the man.

"It's not your fault." He waved a hand to me dismissively. "I guess the only thing we can do is wait around for them to get back and hope nothing bad has happened."

"Shouldn't someone go after them?" I asked astonished that he would just let them go like that.

"There are a thousand different places they could have gone." He said with his hands on his gun. "Looking for them would risk everyone who goes out looking for them. And I'm sorry but I'm not going to go running around like a chicken with its head cut off." I sank back in my seat not having a valid argument and finished eating the tasteless mush of oatmeal. When all the bowls had been placed in the wash bucket, Rick told us what the plans for the day were. Everyone but Beth and I would be outside getting the ground broken up as best they could for planting season. Beth was given the responsibility of caring for Little Ass Kicker, and I was given the task of washing the always growing pile of laundry and dishes, yay.

Four loads of laundry and a whole lot of boring later, I sat outside cooking a pot of beans and rice. I would have been cooking wild meat of some kind in with them, but Merle and Daryl still weren't back from where ever they had gone. The longer the two stayed gone the grimmer the mood of the group got. We all wordlessly sat around the fire now, lost in our own thoughts. Which would have been fine with me, but my thoughts kept going back to what I would do if neither of them returned. Other than the occasional chat with Maggie, Daryl was the only friend I had made here. While I didn't have the best relationship in the world with Merle I wanted him to return safely. I picked at the food I had put in my bowl only taking small bites every once in a while. Finally I just got aggravated and sat my bowl on the ground to pull my knees up to my chest where I sat in the grass. "You need to eat; you haven't eaten since this morning." Hershel wasn't telling me anything that I didn't already know. I knew I needed to eat, I just couldn't.

"Not hungry." I said quietly and propped my chin on my arms. He grabbed the bowl and held it up to me.

"They would want you to eat." I just looked up at him in the orange light of the setting sun. "You know it's true." I hesitantly dropped my knees and took the bowl from him then slowly started eating. He patted my back once as if to congratulate me. The sun had gone completely down by the time I managed to make myself eat half of the bowl. It was enough to satisfy Hershel so I headed into the cell block and went to my room. I redid my ponytail and put on some pajama shorts and a tank top before I grabbed my knitting and made myself comfortable on the bottom bunk. There was no way I was going to be able to get any sleep.

I finally knew what the piece of Knitting I had been working on was going to be, a baby blanket. It wasn't going to be pretty, but it would be something from me and it would keep her warm in the winter. I settled into my knitting rhythm of poke, loop, pull through then slide off. The metal needles clicked together every time I looped the thread over it and the sound of it eventually lulled me into a light sleep.

I was slowly pulled out of that sleep by the sounds of whispers in my cell. I kept my eyes shut not knowing who was in my room. When the whispers continued I opened my eyes. The dark outlines of two men stood in my room. It wasn't hard to figure out that its was Merle and Daryl. My ears easily caught their hushed words. They were arguing over rather or not to wake me up not even noticing that I was already awake. "Where the hell have you two been?" they jumped and faced me. I had turned the lamp off in my sleep so I clicked it back on. When I did, Merle tossed me a big bottle of vitamins. "Thanks." I tossed it onto the bed before I sat up pulling the uncomfortably pony tail out of my hair. "But that doesn't tell me what took you so long." I said standing to be eye level with them. They looked at each other and smirked. "Well?"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Merle said jokingly and I felt like punching him.

"Well someone didn't get much sleep because she was worried sick about you." I said honestly with my hands on my hips as I glanced out of my cell to see that it was still pitch black outside.

"We will show ya what took us so long in the mornin. Go back to sleep." Merle waved to my bed dismissively and left the room leaving Daryl behind as I walked to ladder the top bunk. He looked like he was debating what he should say.

"Out with it Daryl." I said with a smile in my voice and he smirked back.

"Ya don't ever hafta worry bout Merle."

"And why Don't I?" I asked crossing my arms over my stomach without thinking about it.

"Only Merle can kill Merle." He spoke like it was complete fact and judging by Merles size and muscle build that had probably been true for a long time, but anyone could get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time now days and get ambushed by eaters. He said only Merle could kill Merle, but he didn't say anything about himself.

"What about you?" I asked not wanting to think about anyone ever trying to hurt Daryl. "Can only you kill you?" he looked down at the floor so I crossed to stand closer to him. "I wasn't just worried about him, I thought about you the whole time you were gone." He looked up at me with his blank face that meant he was hiding his feelings. I didn't even think about it as I wrapped my arms around his waist hugging him. I don't know why I did it considering I never liked hugging people, but it felt like that right thing to do at the moment. I felt his arms loop around me as he hugged me back. "You scared the shit out of me." I whispered from where my chin rested on his shoulder.

He surprised me when he held me tighter to him. "Sorry." His breath on my ear sent an unnervingly pleasantly shiver down my spine. "Didn't mean to scare ya." I pressed my palms into his back enjoying the warmth from him and the fact that he was still alive even though I felt like I should bold at anytime.

"Don't do it again." It came out sounding way more desperate than I wanted it to. He released me and I looked at him to see that his blank face had been replaced with a smile. "It's not funny." I said putting my hands on my hips.

"I know." He didn't drop his smile. "Ya just sounded so threatenin." He said doing a girly version of putting his dukes up. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"I can be tough." I said crossing my arms over my chest as I playfully glared at him.

"Mm hmm I'm sure." He said rolling his eyes and I uncrossed my arms letting them hang at my sides before I swiftly made my attack. I grabbed his sides with both hands as I squeezed them with a pulsating action. He hunched forward and grunted as he strained to remove my hands from his sides. He glared at me with a smirk on his face when he had them off.

"See, I know peoples weaknesses." I said with a laugh in my voice and he shook his head at me. "What? I do." Or did he like it when I tickled him? The question scared me as much as it intrigued me. I tried to grab his sides again be he quickly grabbed my wrists stopping me like he did before.

"Don't do that again." His tone was a warning but the smirk on his face suggested that it wasn't a serious one. As soon as his grip loosened on my hands I succeeded in grabbing his sides. He grunted, laughed and finally removed my hands from his him holding them up between us. "Ya wouldn't do that if ya knew why I don't want ya to." The smile was completely gone off of his face, he was completely serious.

"Jeez." We both jumped at the sound of Merle in the doorway. "I said it before, I'll say it again," The metal contraption on his arm was gone and he gestured to me and Daryl with his stump. "Just sleep together and get it over with." I looked at the ground letting my loose hair hide my face. "People are trying to sleep." With that last statement he left the cell. I turned and looked up at Daryl when the heat left my cheeks.

I put my hands on his sides and he immediately reached up and grabbed them but he didn't when he realized I wasn't tickling him. "Do ya wanna?" I looked up at him confused. Did I wanna what? Sleep with him? My jaw dropped a bit when I realized that that is what he was asking. Was he seriously asking me if I wanted to have sex with him? He chuckled nervously when he saw my face. "Not like that, just sleep. Like before." He clarified and I thought about it. Did I want to share his bed? Deep down I knew the answer was yes, but I just couldn't. I couldn't let myself be with him like that. When I didn't answer he took it as a no and left my cell.

"Daryl I," I chased after him catching him by the hand. I felt water build up in my eyes as I looked at him. "I just…" he caught the glance that I took of Merle laying on his bed sound asleep. "can't" I don't know if he understood why but I couldn't make myself explain it to him. If I slept in the same bed as Daryl it could lead to more than just sleeping and that scared me more than a herd of a thousand biters. Every time I thought about being intimate with someone all I saw was Merle, Tomas and a lot of violence and forced touching. The thought of intimacy made my stomach churn and my throat grow tight. Sadness flashed across his face before he quickly covered it up. "I'm sorry." I felt tears pooling in my eyes but I held them back.

"Don't be." He was back to being blunt, but I really couldn't blame him. All I could do was watch as he sad down on his bed and pulled his boots off before Lying down and pulled the covers over himself hiding from the world. "Night." I jumped at his words thinking he had gone to sleep.

"Night." The word was shaky but audible. The light in my room was shining brightly so I clicked it off and climbed up onto the bed before I flopped down on my back. My hands went to my stomach without me thinking about it. "Sleep well little Dixon." I whispered before I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep now that I knew that two of the most important men in my life were safe.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Hey everyone really long chapter for you. I finally decided on a paring. Hope you guys enjoy.

**Chapter 17-**It all falls into place.

The smell of something warm and delicious filled the air in my cell pulling me out of my sleep. When I opened my eyes I noticed Merle sitting in the corner with a steaming bowl in his hands. He smiled when he noticed that I was awake. "Bout damn time you woke up." Jeez that's a nice way to wake up. "Made ya some breakfast." Hmm that made up for the rude way he woke me up. He walked over to me as I sat up on the side of the bed and handed me the bowl. I noticed spots of brown in with the mush along with clear sparkling crystals that I thought I would never see again. "Hope yer not allergic to cinnamon." I smiled at him as I took a bite. Cinnamon and sugar exploded across my tongue like fireworks. "Is it good?" I nodded vigorously and he laughed a bit. "I was afraid that I put too much sugar." This time I shook my head not being able to speak, because my mouth was full.

I swallowed the big bite. "There can never be too much sugar." I said before I took another bite reminding myself that it wasn't going anywhere. "Thank you." He waved me off.

"Don't mention it." He handed me a bottle of water that had been sitting on the floor next to him, then grabbed the bottle of vitamins off of the table and handed me one. The thing was about half the size of a penny and a nasty color of brown. He watched me closely as I tossed it into my mouth and swallowed it down. I put the bottle of water on the floor at my feet and continued eating as if Merle wasn't even in the room. It was weird how not more than three days ago I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. Now here I was eating food he had brought me not even second guessing if he had poisoned it or something. "Come down stairs when yer done." He left the room and I sat there, enjoying the most delicious breakfast I had ever had.

I got dressed in my usual jeans take top, button up shirt and boots. The glint of something silver on the floor caught my eyes and I bent down to see what it was. I pulled it out from under the bed and held it up. It was Merle's bracelet. I thought I had given it back to Daryl. I looked in the inside of it running my thumb over the indented letters. M.D. Without really knowing why or thinking about it to hard I slipped the bracelet on my wrist hiding the horrible cut that was beginning to scar over.

When I got even with my fathers cell he called out to me. My feet scraped on the dirty floor as I hesitantly stopped and turned to him rolling my eyes. "What do you want now? To tell me that I should have succeeded in killing myself so you wouldn't have to be the one to put me out of my misery?" his face remained stoic and I made no motion to get any closer to him.

"Do you really think I would say that?" I motioned around me telling him to look around him. He was in a cell for a reason and it wasn't just because he had tried to kill Merle, not anymore. I was afraid for my life as well after what he said the last time I had spoke to him. "I was going to say that I'm sorry. I would never kill you. I was just trying to make a point, and it was the wrong one." I wasn't really buying it. "You are right. This baby is part of you and I can't ask you to kill your child." Should I believe this or not I just stood there studying him. He never showed any kind of emotion the whole time he was talking and that was what concerned me the most. The dad I knew, while he was a jerk most of the time he showed any and all emotions. This dad? He just stood there not shedding a tear, not growling in anger. He was different and I hated it more than I disliked the old him. "Say something."

"What would you have me say? I forgive you?" His face still didn't change. "Because I don't. You tried to kill the father of my baby, who by the way isn't a terrible guy. And you told me day before yesterday that you would kill me. I can't forgive that." His face finally changed to one of anger, I wasn't surprised.

"I remember you saying that you wanted him dead after the first time he touched you." I had forgotten that I said that. "Am I wrong?" he was studying my face which I'm sure showed some kind of realization.

"No, you are right, but that was different." I heaved out a breath rubbing at my temples. "That was before I knew him, the real him." He laughed a laugh that I had never heard before. The sound sent a chill up my spine and I took a step away from him. My throat was dry as I croaked out the words "Talk to you later dad." And walked away.

When I walked into the holding area everyone was gathered around two tables. When I got closer I realized that they were full of supplies. Anything we could ever have wanted was on the table. That included a multitude of baby formula and things of the like. Like baby food for when the kids started getting to the point that they could eat it. I let my mouth hang open. "Catch flies with yer mouth hangin open like that." I slowly closed my mouth and looked at Merle.

"Where did you get all of this?" he just shrugged with a smile on his face. I was too happy to question him further. I noticed two long black things sitting on another one of the tables and walked over examining them along with Maggie and Glenn. They were thin, about a foot wide and three feet long. I knew what they were I just didn't know how to use them. "Where did you find solar panels?" I was gaping again and Merle walked over putting a finger under my chin closing my mouth for me.

"We found what was called an all green motel. They were stored in one of the closets so I don't know it they work, but Daryl's good with this shit so he can probably get them working. If anything we will go back and see if there are any on the roof." Huh. This was amazing. With the food that was in the cafeteria and all of this we could live for a long time not to mention what fresh food them men were planning on growing and I'm sure with Hershel's help it would all come up if the weather permitted. "This is awesome." I said looking around at everyone. They all looked as awe struck as I felt.

Beth walked over to Daryl with a huge smile on her face that everyone shared. She looked like she was about to hug him, but she punched him in the arm instead. He rubbed his bicep making me wonder exactly how hard the girl could punch. "Don't ever run off like that again." She didn't yell at him, but the authority in her voice was palpable as she stuck her finger in her face like he was a little kid.

"Yes ma'am." He saluted her and we all laughed at his joke. His eyes wondered to me and the smile faded from both of our faces. I scratched at the back of my neck as I broke eye contact and watched Beth smile at Merle and send him a small thank you. There was a table with just clothes on it so I started digging. There were a few women's button up shirts that clearly had my name written all over them, but I had plenty of clothes. So I tossed them to Maggie. She looked at the tag and wrinkled her nose.

"I think these were meant for you." She tossed them back and I looked at the tag, size XL. Oh, they were meant for when I started to get bigger. All of the plaid button up shirts ranged in size from SM to XXL. Jeez how big did they think I was going to get? I picked through the rest of the stuff only taking what I needed, which wasn't much, then headed to my cell with the new shirts in hand. Merle passed me on the way and his eyes finally caught my wrist.

"Hang on a second." I stopped and turned to face him he took the stack of clothes out of my hands and sat them on the bottom stair. My stomach twisted a bit when he took my hand in his studying the bracelet. He swiftly undid the buttons one handed and looked at the bottom for confirmation. "Where did ya get this?" his eyes flicked between me and the bracelet. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not.

"I…uh found it." I forced the answer from my mouth.

"Where?" he looked like he didn't believe me.

"A house, I can't remember which one. Maybe one somewhere right outside Atlanta." I was getting my words back even though he still seamed tense. He was quiet as he studied the piece of worn leather in his hands. "You can have it back." He turned his head to the side.

"Ya knew it was mine?" I nodded my head not knowing how he was going to react now that he knew that I knew it was his and wore it anyway. He snapped it back on my still up held wrist. "Na, finder's keepers." I opened my mouth to protest, but his words stopped me. "Besides," he held up the metal covered nub. "Don't fit anymore anyhow." He picked up the clothes, put them back in my arms and walked away leaving me to stare after him dumfounded.

Daryl and I didn't speak much as the day went on. When we did it was one word questions and answers. I don't know why, but I caught myself looking at him more than I usually did. It was super hot outside so he wore jeans with holes in the knees of them and a thin sleeveless button up shirt that showed off his arms and some of his chest. He caught me looking once while he was kneeling in the garden not to far from where I was cooking lunch. I admired the lean muscle that lay beneath the thin material that clung to his sweat slicked skin. I was wondering where the thin purple scar across his collar bone had came from when his eyes caught mine. Then sun made them look brighter than usual as he smirked that heart stopping smirk. I quickly averted my eyes to the rabbit meat on the grill. I flipped it making it mimic the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I tried to convince myself was just morning sickness. I was so caught up in my thoughts and not letting the food burn that I didn't even notice that Maggie had walked up. "You two are so obvious." I jumped and fell flat on my butt.

"Maggie, my god you scared the crap out of me." She laughed and sat down handing me a bottle of water. "What's obvious?" I saw her eyes roll behind her upturned bottle of water.

"You're kidding right?" I just shrugged. "You two are totally together." I went back to flipping the meat on the home made grill. "Y'all _are_ together right?" I shook my head not looking up. "Why not? He's into you, you're _way_ into him. Just get together already." I finally turned away from the food figuring that it probably needed to be still in order to cook.

"It's not that simple." She rolled her eyes again and asked why is wasn't. "I'm pregnant with his brother's baby. That kinda throws a wrench into things." She was quiet for a while and my eyes wondered to Merle where he was dropping seeds into the ground. He looked aggravated.

"Do you like Merle?" I looked at Maggie to see she had followed my gaze. "It would make perfect since to fall for the father of your child." I looked back at Merle who threw the bag of seeds on the ground in anger before he headed to the building. "And you said before that you had a thing for older men." I didn't exactly say that, but I had never really been attracted me anyone my own age before either. I huffed out a breath as Merle disappeared into the building and slammed the door.

"He's attractive in his own way." Maggie smiled at my modesty.

"Oh please, he has a nice body. You know you want to say it." I laughed even though it wasn't genuine.

"Yeah." I shrugged and looked back at the food. "But I could never be with him like that. Not after…you know." I didn't finish the sentence knowing she would know what I was talking about.

"So you're pregnant with Merles kid. How does that keep you from being with Daryl?" I didn't answer because that's the moment everyone chose to join us for lunch. Everyone was in decent moods except Merle. I told myself that I would try to find out what was wrong with him after lunch. I had just finished handing out the plates when Carl started asking for one of use to sing. I knew that since he was the one asking that he really just wanted to hear Beth.

It took until I was done eating for her song to be over and by that time everyone else was done as well. I think one of the best things about this group was no matter if someone mad or upset we all ate together, worked together and had fun together on occasion. Maggie sat next to Glenn then Beth next to Hershel. Carl sat between Hershel and Rick we was holding his baby girl. Daryl sat beside Rick leaving me to sit between him and Merle. I thought it was weird that I felt safe between the two now when I would have ran not more than a week ago. Merle headed back to the cell block with me on his heels.

"Hey." He stopped not too far into the holding room. "What's the matter with you?" he snorted and turned to walk away, but my small hand on his big shoulder stopped him. "I wasn't trying to be nosey. You just seem upset." He ran his one hand through his growing hair before holding up his metal nub. I watched his nimble fingers working on the straps of the metal contraption as he loosened the buckles and pulled it off.

"Ya know I can still feel my hand." Was this what he was upset about? "I'm wigglin my fingers right now." I looked at the purple and red nub where his hand was supposed to be and imagined a hand there with the fingers moving rapidly. "Feel useless without it." He dropped the contraption onto the table with a loud thud as he sat down and I sat across from him. "Can't even be a good gardener. All I can do is drop fuckin seeds in the ground." I had never seen him complain about his missing hand before. Hell, half the time I didn't even notice it was gone. "Fuckin woman's work." He said under his breath. I scratched at the back of my neck trying to come up with something to say.

"Maybe you could find something to put on that thing so that you could hold tools with it." I suggested and he seamed to like that idea. He stood from the table and disappeared into the cell room taking the arm contraption with him.

I found myself sneaking peeks at Daryl throughout the rest of the day, I couldn't help it, but I tried to make it less obvious. It wasn't until later that night that he spoke to me. I had laid out my bed clothes and had removed my button up shirt when he walked to the doorway of my cell. "Ya shoulda sang at supper." I hadn't been asked to even it I had been I probably would have insisted that Beth sing again. "Haven't heard ya sing in a while." It had only been one day since he heard me sing. "Will ya?" despite what happened the night before it didn't feel awkward between us anymore. I was thinking about rather I wanted to sing for just him or not and I think he took my silence the wrong way because he said "Never mind, ya don't gotta." And turned to walk out.

"I will." He turned back to me. "If you still want me to." I said sheepishly. He walked to the corner of my cell and grabbed the chair spinning it around so that he could lean forward and rest his chin on the back of it. "Okay, uh, what do you want to hear?" he shrugged his shoulders telling me to choose. I didn't know what type of music he liked so I pursed my lips while I was thinking and caught his eyes on them. "Pop, country or rock?"

"Country." That was a quick answer.

"Happy or sad?" I hoped he didn't say sad.

"Happy." He tucked his hands under his chin on the chair as he answered.

"Revenge or romance?" Pink tinted his cheeks as he told me to choose. It would be so easy to choose a revenge song, but I didn't want to make him think that I wanted to take revenge out on him. "Hmm. Okay I got one." I had been thinking about what Maggie and I had talked about at lunch. Why shouldn't I go after Daryl? I mean, she said he was into me and Merle had said that Daryl liked me. I was also getting closer and closer to him everyday so why not take us to the next level? Its not like marriage was still something people did, did they? Either way I figured I would show him how I felt with music, or at least lyrics. "Lyin' here with you so close to me. It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe." He lifted his head up from the chair when he realized it was a love song. "Caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile." I wanted so bad to know what he was thinking, but his face was blank as he chewed on his nails letting me know he was nervous without really even knowing it. "I've never opened up to anyone. So hard hold back when I'm holding you in my arms." I never stopped looking him in the eyes as I sung, I couldn't. It was like I needed to be looking at them in order to keep singing. "We don't need to rush this. Let's just take it slow. Just a kiss on your lips in the moon light. Just a touch of the fire burning so bright. No I don't want to mess this thing up. I don't want to push to far. Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life. So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight." I didn't finish the song, because it looked like I had made him uncomfortable. The hand that he wasn't chewing on was gripping the chair like his life depended on it and his face was stoic. It made me feel like I had made a huge mistake so I scooted back on my bed and pulled my knees to my chest. He was just staring at me. "I'm sorry." That pulled him out of his daze and he blinked a few times.

"What ya sorry for?" that made me loosen up some, but all I could do was shrug. He bit at his nails for a good while and I could tell he was just as nervous as I was if not more. "Did ya mean what ya said in that song?" I made myself smile through the flip flopping of my stomach.

"Uh huh" heat rose to my cheeks and I looked down trying to hide it. I heard him stand from the chair and I thought he was leaving, but I watched his vans head my direction. I looked up when he sat down next to me. The nervous static surrounding him infected me was well when he leaned into me. He stopped, his lips centimeters from mine. I could feel his warm breath dance across my face melting away my nervousness and giving me the courage to seal the gap. The kiss was soft but not too soft as he immediately kissed me back.

I felt his hand slide onto my knee as the kiss broke. His thin lips were pulled into a brilliant smile I had never seen before and I found myself smiling back. His rough fingers grazed my face before he placed them on them on my neck and ran his thumb over my cheek. He gently pulled me into him pressing his lips back to mine.

His tongue grazed my bottom lip sending a chill down my spine and I parted my lips granting him access. His tongue pressed lightly and fleetingly against my own. I caught the faint taste of whisky on him as he small pressure came and went teasingly. My tongue automatically chased his wanting more. Somehow things got switched around and he was chasing me. The playful dance made me feel something I had never felt before, a stirring itch down below. My hands gravitated to his sides as I pulled myself closer to him. I never wanted this to stop, but eventually the kiss started to lighten, adding less and less pressure until we were just using our lips then not even that.

When the kiss was fully broken he moved around so that he was sitting in the middle of the bed with his back against the wall. I watched with curious eyes. He held his hand out to me so I grabbed it liking the warmth that spread through me. He jerked his head in his direction silently telling me to come closer, so I did. I was going to sit next to him like he had been before he moved, but he had other plans. I let out a little yelp when he grabbed me and sat me in his lap so that I was straddling him. I was breathless from the surprise of it and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. "Are ya alright?" he was looking at me the way no other man ever had. Yes, there was lust in his eyes, but it was mixed with something else that I couldn't quite place. I looked around us realizing that my center was pressed to his.

"Uh…" I tried to hold back the panic that was taking over my body from the compromising position, but I started shaking anyway. Daryl sat up and put his hand on my side to take me off of him, but I put my still shaking hand on his chest stopping him. I pushed him back to where he was leaning against the wall again. "I'm fine." I whispered with my eyes closed trying to still my jittery body.

"Yer not fine, yer shakin." He ran his hands over my shoulders as if I were shivering from the cold. "We can stop." His voice was soothing and I knew the way I was reacting wasn't rational. Daryl wasn't going to hurt me and I wanted to be with him. If I couldn't make myself be with him now then it was never going to happen.

"I don't want to." I was looking down at his hand where it now rested on the blankets. His cuticles were rough from being bitted so often. He didn't say anything and I was met with a concerned look when I finally made myself look up. "I want to be with you. I need to know that I can," how could I say this to him without him thinking I was using him or just wanted sex from him. Really I didn't even want to go that far right now. "be with a man, with you, this way." I stumbled over my words. He once again didn't respond and I had the sudden urge to get off of him. I started to but he put his hands on my hips stopping me. He grabbed my face with both of his hands and gently pulled me to him kissing me full force making me forget everything that had been going through my head. When it slowed and finally broke I was breathless and my hands had moved to rest on his toned chest. Two fingers on my right hand had found the exposed skin where the top buttons of his shirt had been left undone. Without thinking about it I slid my hand up and over to rest on the scar I had seen earlier that day. I wanted to ask how he had gotten it but now didn't seam like the right time. So I slipped my hand back down to the undone buttons. "May I?" he thought about it for a few seconds before he hit his button lip and nodded once. I got to work undoing them. My hands that had stopped shaking started again when I got to the bottom button and my hand grazed his package through his pants. It wasn't the fact that I touched it that bothered me; it was what happened when I did. It moved, like it jumped and I felt it press against me.

Finally I just gave up on getting the button undone and dropped my hands to the side. He could tell I was panicking again because he pulled me to him by my shoulders and pressed his lips to my temple. "I'm sorry." He had leaned his forehead against the side of mine and whispered into my ear. "Involuntary reaction." I figured this much but it still scared me. The whole idea of what a man contained in his pants made me want to run for the hills.

I pulled back to look at his face and my hands were still a bit shaky. He took them in his and kissed them. "I know, and its fine. I just…" I closed my eyes and shivered.

"I get it. I ain't rushin ya. We can do whatever ya wanna do when ya wanna do it." He dropped one of my hands to place his on my face. "Okay?" I nodded and he undid the last button for me. I wanted to feel his muscles, but I didn't know if he would like it if I did. I assumed I could when he picked up one of my hands and placed it palm down on his chest. He pulled me in for another kiss.

My hand had a mind of its own as it slid down feeling the hard lumps of his abs. I liked them, a lot. I slid my hands back up as we kissed and moved them over his shoulders then down his arms letting his shirt fall off as I did. I let out a content sigh when the kiss broke again and I rested my forehead on his. "You're so strong." I hadn't meant to say that out loud, but it was true. He could hurt me at any minute and I wouldn't be able to fight back. I ran my hand back to his amazingly attractive, and all the more frightening, biceps.

"Ya are to ya know." I shook my head as he slowly rubbed my back.

"Not in the same way you are." I trailed my fingertips to his lower stomach tracing his six-pack to make my point. I amazingly enough wasn't freaking out again and my hand was steady as ever. I leaned in and pecked him on the lips when his hands slipped under my shirt and rested on the skin of my lower back. He was rubbing small circles on my lower back with his thumbs I liked the sensation him touching my bare skin sent through my whole body. I wanted more of it. "You can take my shirt off if you want to." My woes were quiet and I caught his smirk in the slowly dimming light of the lamp by the bed. He asked if I was sure. "Uh huh. You've seen me completely nude before remember?" Now that I thought about it I think Glenn and Hershel were the only men in this group that hadn't seen me nude.

"He laughed quietly. "I don't think I can forget." I liked the way his voice sounded when he said that. "Just with I was the one that pulled ya out instead of Rick." I watched his blue eyes closely, but he moved them to look down. "Maybe ya wouldn't have hated me so much." I moved my hand to his face and made him look at me.

"I never hated you." He snorted like he didn't believe me and I really didn't blame him. "It was your last name and your gender that I hated." He still didn't look convinced. "I was scared of you, but I never hated you." Like that was going to make him feel any better. "It was nothing personal, even though it seemed like it was at the time." He looked like he wanted to kiss him again, but he didn't look like he wanted to be kissed. What could I say that would make him feel better? "Do you remember when you were teaching me to use my bow?" he nodded once as he bit his lip. "I think it was then that I started to trust you, even though I never would have admitted it out loud."

"What?" he looked as confused as he sounded. "You definably hated me then." I shook my head letting my hair saw as I did.

"No I didn't. I didn't like you, but I didn't hate you either." He still looked confused. "I took a leap of faith when I let you help me put on the arm guard." He smirked remembering that day.

"If ya were scared of me ya didn't show it. All I could tell was that ya was a smart ass." I laughed remembering how cocky had had been at points.

"I didn't admit it to myself then, but I liked how close you were to me when you were teaching me how to pull it back and not hold it too tight." The tingle that had ran down my spine then had been an inviting one. "I figured out I could trust you when you didn't randomly pull me into the woods and have your way with me like your bother did." He made a face at the mention of what his brother had done to me. "Sorry I didn't mean to bring that up; I'm just telling the truth." He put his warm hands on my sides and pulled me in for a kiss that let me know how unlike his brother he could be.

"I will never do that to ya. I ain't my brother." He said with a face that contrasted with his soft words.

"I know that now. You proved that to me that day and every day after. I know you're not your brother, because I could never love him." I couldn't stop the words that came out of my mouth and I pressed my lips together tightly after I said them. His face went blank. Could I love him? Did I love him? Could what was going on right now be more than just friends with benefits?

"But ya could love me?" all I could do was nod and he pressed his lips to mine kissing me with everything he had letting me know how much what I had said meant to him. Our hands started roaming each other bodies and soon we broke the kiss for him to tug my tank top over my head. His hands instinctively went to the latch of my bra but he froze when he realized what he was doing.

He pecked me on the lips and trailed kisses to my ear where he sucked the lobe into his mouth grazing it with his teeth. I let out a sound of pleasure. "May I?" I hummed out a yes and he started kissing my neck as he used both of his hands to undo the k=hooks of my bra and eagerly pushed the straps down and off of my arms letting it fall between us. He replaced the cups with his hands and kneaded them gently. I gasped when he ran the pad of his thumb over the peak of my left breast. He pulled back to look at my face which I'm sure matched his, pure want and need. "Ya okay?" I answered him with a big smile before I laughed and pressed my lips to his. The kiss didn't last long because he broke it to press his lips to my right nipple. Tears started forming in my eyes.

*****flash back*****

The ground was cold on my back but that was all I could feel. I couldn't feel the blade that dug into my hand, the pain down below, or hear the nasty things the man on top of me was saying. I had closed my eyes and somehow made myself numb. But a sharp pain on my right breast pulled a scream from my lips and my eyes shot open. The man on top of me had sunken his teeth deep into me drawing blood. All my reaction got me was a slap to the face and the blade dug deeper into my hand.

*****End Flashback.*****

I cried out as I shoved Daryl off of me. He instantly pulled me to him in a soothing hug. I sobbed into his shoulder while he rubbed my back with one hand and had the other burring in my hair. "Sshhh. Its okay, yer okay." He whispered into my ear while all I could do was hold onto his sides and cry. I didn't think that was ever going to happen again. I thought I had made myself forget what all happened that dreadful night, but I don't guess I will ever truly forget. I was shivering. Daryl pulled his shirt from behind him and draped it over my shoulders. I was sandwiched between his sent. Dirt, trees, sweat and something that was all his own, something sweet and manly at the same time. The cocoon of Daryl comforted me like nothing else ever could and my tears slowly stopped falling.

I hadn't even realized that while I had been crying, my naked front had been smashed against Daryl's. I sat up and he pulled the shirt around me then did the buttons. "I'm sorry." He looked confused "I didn't mean to be a tease." The confusion faded from his face. "And I didn't mean to shove you." He shook his head and pulled me into him hugging me again.

He kissed my ear. "Don't be sorry. Yer not a tease and sometimes, on rare occasions its okay for a woman to shove a man." He didn't let me go as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed. I wrapped my legs around him when he stood up and started walking to the perch. "Would ya mind sleepin with me tonight?" He whispered into my ear and I kissed neck in response making him grunt from the unexpected kiss somewhere other than his lips.

"I would love to." He sat me on his bed and went back to my cell to turn out the lamp. While he did that I slipped out of my jeans, tossed them on the floor then slipped under the covers right before he walked out of the cell. He toed off his shoes before he slid into bed behind me and I turned to face him. He froze when he placed his hand on my leg and realized I had taken my pants off. "Sorry, but I can't sleep in jeans." I explained and he loosened up a bit.

"Do ya want me to get yer pajamas?" he moved his hand to rest on my waits as he spoke. I shook my head no.

"I'm fine with this if you are." I moved closer to him and he made a sound of approval. He tucked one arm under his head and I moved mine to rest on his arm as I pressed my lips to his getting one last whiskey tainted taste of him before we went to bed. I like the taste, but I didn't like how I didn't know that he drank. We made out for a while and he didn't make and attempts to touch me in a way that would set me off again. I ended up falling asleep with my face pressed into his neck and my arm wrapped around his waist.

**A/N:** Sorry (DumbLuck and GoodIntentions) I couldn't help myself. Its just too easy to make her be with Daryl, but things should start to get interesting sometime after the next chapter that I'm going to post.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**-

I woke up in the same position that we had fallen asleep in. Warmth radiated from his body making mine the perfect temperature. A yawn escaped my lips as I stretched and turned onto my back removing my skin from his in the process. He must have subconsciously missed my presence because his arm snaked out and wrapped around my waist pulling me back against him. He grumbled in his sleep so I turned to look at him. His brows were pulled together in a deep v and his arm had tightened around my waist. Without thinking about it I shushed him and gently pressed my lips to his forehead. He wasn't a light sleeper so I knew it wouldn't wake him. His face relaxed from my touch making him look years younger than he really was.

I looked toward the other end of the perch to see if Merle was still there, he wasn't. I didn't know if I should wake Daryl up or not. He looked peaceful so I decided not to wake him. I laid there and wondered what unexpected things this day was going to hold. If someone would have told me yesterday morning that I was going to make out with Daryl and wind up sharing his bed, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am lying next to Daryl Dixon with a smile on my face.

He wiggled a bit and grunted again. He was waking up. I could tell, because his breathing was no longer hard as if he could start snoring at any moment. I could tell he was fully awake when he started rubbing my side over the shirt that I was still wearing. His eyes were closed so I didn't speak for chance of breaking my moment. Instead I turned onto my side and snuggled into him letting his hand fall to the small of my back. I gripped his side holding myself to him. I heard him smile and he pressed his hand against my back. "Morning." His voice was drowsy as he pulled his head back and kissed me on my head. "How ya feelin?" I smiled not minding the question if it came from him. I pulled back to look at his sleepy face.

"Good, great actually." I realized then that I hadn't woken up sitting straight up in the bed. "I didn't have any nightmares last night." He looked happy. "How did you sleep?" I propped my head up on my elbow.

"Are ya kiddin? I had a beautiful woman next to me all night." I smiled at his sweet response. He wasn't being disrespectful or hitting on me in a way that made me want to cringe away from him. If anything it had the opposite effect because I leaned in and pressed my lips to his in a loving kiss. I sat up not wanting to lie down any longer. I pulled the covers off of him when I did so he sat up as well planting a single kiss on my neck as he did. "We should probably get downstairs." I didn't really want to go; I wanted to stay right where we were. I stood up and pulled on my pants telling myself that my pink and purple lace panties weren't any different than bikini bottoms. "Oh hey." I turned and watched as he pulled a faded t-shirt over his head and flipped his arms into the holes where the sleeves used to be. "I forgot to tell ya, me and Rick got the solar panels working yesterday." I walked closer to him interested in what he was saying. "Ya should be able to take shower if the others haven't used all of the hot water." I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face at the thought of a hot shower. I smiled and told him how awesome that was.

We were heading down to get breakfast when my fathers voice once again stopped me only this time Daryl stopped as well not leaving me alone with him. "I'd like to speak to you." I walked closer to the cell. Daryl didn't take his arm from around my waist and walked with me. "Alone." I glanced up at Daryl silently telling him that it was okay. He dropped his arm and walked into the holding room. When he disappeared I turned back to my father with my brows raised. "You hate me don't you?" My old father was back, a mix of disappointment and sadness on his face. "I've done nothing but make you hate me since we got here."

"Yeah, you have, but as hard as this is to believe, I don't hate you." The sadness didn't completely leave his face. "If anything I fear you." More emotion flashed across his face. "You said you could kill me dad, that's not normal. You tried to kill a man with your bare hands. I've seen you kill people before, but this was different. I understand how and why you hate Merle, but dad he's changed. The man we first met wasn't the real him." This caused confusion to take over his face.

"What are you talking about? How could it not be the real him? He is who he is; men don't change at the drop of a hat like that." He had backed slightly away from the bars. Should I tell him what Merle told me? I could only try.

"You're right; people don't change just like that. He is till an ass sometimes, but dad, he was messed up." He looked at me like he didn't understand. Crap was I going to have to spell this out for him. "He was fucked up on meth. He doesn't even remember what he did." I ran my hands through my hair to get it out of my eyes and he looked at me like I was crazy. I think he was expecting that to phase me in some way, but it didn't. I was used to being looked at like I was insane.

"And you believe that?" he had that judgmental tone back to his voice. "You honestly think that he did what he did because he was high?" He had taken a step back up to the bars so I took one back.

"Yeah actually I do." He rolled his eyes and I could tell what was going to come out of his mouth next. "Let me guess I'm even more naïve than you thought?" He surprised the shit out of me when he shook his head no.

"Your not naïve, a little shallow maybe, but not naïve." I didn't know what to say, my father calling me shallow was a compliment when it came to him. "You've done pretty okay since I got locked in here and from the looks of it you've done a little growing up." I tucked my hair self-consciously behind my ear. I didn't really understand what he meant by "from the looks of it." So I just stood there waiting to see if he had anything else to say. He was just staring at me with a weird look ok his face so I assumed he was done talking. I had turned my back to walk away "What's going on with you and the redneck?" that stopped me and I turned to face him to see he wasn't mad, he actually looked a little sad for some reason. "Are you sleeping with him?" I think I knew where this was going, and I strangely didn't mind. He was still my father and could still be worried about his daughter's sexual activities.

"If you're asking if I've had sex with him, no I haven't." A little relief washed over his face. I scratched at the back of my neck as I said the next part. "But I did kinda sleep with him last night." His mouth fell open in mock shock. "Oh whatever you knew it was bound to happen sooner or later." I said holding back my smile. I was surprised at how quickly things had changed from serious, to me wanting to laugh from uncomfortable silliness.

"Yeah I guess I did." He had a slight smirk on his face and for the first time in a long time it was actually genuine. "Seems I was wrong about him, I can look at him and tell he loves you." Whoa, love? I didn't say anything about love! I must have made a face that reflected the thoughts that flew threw my head because he laughed. "I'm guessing y'all haven't gotten that far." I shook my head. I desperately wanted to change the subject, but that didn't happen. "Just promise me one thing." I didn't say anything. "Don't have intercourse with anyone until you marry them. Every other rule has been broken I just want you to keep that one intact." I was baffled. Did marriage even exist anymore? "Promise me?" I laterally shook off the shock of what he was asking.

"I uh…" I made myself look at his face. "I promise." What did I just say? I just promised my father that I wouldn't have sex until I was married? Wasn't it a bit late for that, my v card had already been run through the shredder? I was about to protest when Daryl walked into the room with two bowls of powered eggs. He handed one to me then the other to my dad through the slot in the bars. I smiled at him. "Thanks."

"Yeah thanks." My father didn't sound particularly happy, but he didn't sound mad either. I told my dad I would see him later and we headed to the holing room. "Daryl!" We both turned to look at my father. "Take care of my girl for me." Daryl gave him a nod before we walked away to see what plans Rick had in store for us.

"What was that about?" Daryl looked as confused as I felt.

"I honestly don't know. The man has more mood swings than a teenage girl." He laughed at that not bothering to ask further. He knew that if I wanted him to know what my father and I talked about that I would tell him. And I did that night before we went to bed.

It was kind of assumed that we were together now. Like full on boyfriend and girlfriend sleeping together, but not _sleeping together_ stuff. I guessed it was our new thing for me to sleep in one of his shirts. I was in my cell changing for bed, I actually planned on wearing pajamas tonight, and had just taken my shirt off when I felt something soft touch my back and his clean scent hit me in the face letting me know it was him. So I let him wrap the shirt around my shoulders and I put my arms through the holes. It was another one of his sleeveless button ups so I did the buttons while he hugged me from behind. "I like seenin ya in my clothes." He whispered in my ear causing me to giggle like a little girl.

I spun around wrapping my arms loosely around his firm waist. "And why is that?" I asked breathily. I felt when he tensed and I knew I had once again spooked the skittish stallion. "Sorry." He looked down at me confused and asked what I was sorry for. "I don't know, being too flirty?" It came out as more of a question than an actual answer. He waved me off.

"Ya really think that bothers me?" He asked with a raised eyebrow that made me laugh as I shook my head. "I'm always afraid I'm the one being too flirty." He said it quietly as he looked down at the ground. I put my finger under his chin making he look at me. "Ya've just been hit on by so many creeps. I just don't wanna sound like one of em." It thrilled the hell out of me that he thought he might come on too strong. "The answer to yer question would make me sound like one."

"Don't ever worry about that." I kissed him on the lips. "You're not a creep so nothing you can say to me will make you sound like one." I kissed him again and moved my hands to rest on his chest. "So…" he just looked at me with that blank look he has sometimes. "Why do you like seeing me in your clothes?" I asked again and his face turned a little pink, but it was soon taken over with confidence when I undid the top two buttons of his shirt and played with his blond chest hair.

"Because ya look sexy as hell in my shirts." He sank back down after that loosing all confidence and looking like he was expecting me to freak out again. I half way wondered my I wasn't, I mean this was something other men had called me that made me want to puke, but then again this one came from Daryl. And I liked him so it didn't turn me off. I think he was surprised when I smiled at him with a glint in my eyes and popped the collar of the shirt. He looked confused and intrigued at the same time. I pulled out of his arms and walked to the light where it sat on the sink. All I had on was Daryl's shirt and my boy shorts panties. I turned my side to him and looked at him over my shoulder and kicked back one of my legs with my hands on my sides.

"Ya really think I'm sexy?" I asked with my voice returning to the flirty tone it had earlier. He closed the gap between us and grabbed me making me stand on both feet and wrap my arms around his neck for balance. He pressed his lips to mine, his tongue quickly searching out mine, playing with it in that teasing way that drove me nuts. When it broke we were both breathless.

"Hell yeah." His breathless, lust filled voice in my ear made a laugh escape my lips that matched what he called me. It happened again when he grabbed my ass and lifted me up like he had the night before, except this time he didn't take me to bed. Instead he pressed my back against the wall and proceeded to make out with me. Things were starting to get really hot and it wasn't until he started to take off my panties that I pulled things to a halt. We hadn't been that far yet and I didn't really want to. He didn't protest and of coarse apologized, which I blew off. The weird thing was that my father's words were echoing around in my head. "Don't have intercourse until you're married." Daryl eased me back to my feet and I redid the buttons and pulled on some sleep shorts. I was kind of distant as we walked to our bed on the perch and he could tell. "Ya okay?" he knew I didn't like that question, but once again I didn't mind it that much if it came from his lips. "Ya aren't sick are ya?"

I slid into the bed first and he slid in next to me facing me. "It's nothing." He brushed a loose strand of hair out of my face that was still a bit wet from my shower.

"If it's nothin then why are ya acting like it's somethin?" He had a point, it wasn't nothing and he knew it. "Does it have to do with what just happened?" I shook my head.

"No, well kinda." He looked confused in the light of the lamp. "I actually had an okay conversation with dad today. He thinks I hate him." Daryl didn't say anything. He just rubbed little circles on my hip bone with his thumb. "I don't hate him. I hate who he has become. He acted more like his old self today then he has in a very long time. He even said that I wasn't naïve." Daryl smiled back at me when I smiled thinking about it.

"That's good news. Why are ya actin like it's not what ya wanted to hear?" I shook my head.

"I am happy about all of that, but he asked about me and you." His thumb stopped moving.

"What did ya tell him?" I shrugged. What did he expect me to tell my father?

"The truth. I told him I was sharing your bed." Daryl smiled and his thumb started up its soothing circles. "But then he asked me to promise him something." His thumb stopped moving again and I could see the question in his eyes. "He asked me not to have sex again until I was married. I being stupid said I promised." Daryl took his hand off of me altogether and laid on his back huffing out a breath and I sat up. "I don't even know if marriage is still something people do. Are there even preachers still alive?…" I kept on rambling random questions. I was freaking out because I thought he might have taken what I said as a marriage proposal. I kept talking until he finally sat up and clasped his hand over my mouth.

"Calm down would ya?" I nodded and he removed his hand from my mouth. "I don't know if marriage is still something people do or if there are any preachers alive, but what I do know is…" My heart skipped a beat at what I thought was about to come out of his mouth. Just the thought of the L word coming out of his mouth made my heart squeeze "that it's getting late and we could both use some sleep." I let my shoulders slump from the disappointment and flopped down on my side with my back to him. He must have understood my body language because he huffed out a breath and made me turn onto my back. He pressed his lips to mine lovingly and gently. "Look, we have time to figure this out. I ain't asking ya to marry me just so we can have sex. I can tell ya ain't ready for that right now anyhow." He wasn't giving up on me he wasn't going to leave me just because I wasn't going to put out. "Until then we are together, plain and simple. We will cross the bridges as they come to us. Kay?" I blinked processing everything he had just said.

"Uh…yeah okay." I said a bit dazed, but he kissed me and turned out the light.

"Now, let's get some shut eye." I turned onto my side pressing my face into his nude chest before I looked blindly up at him.

"Daryl?" he hummed to me letting me know he was listening. "I…" I wanted so much to tell him I loved him, but I still wasn't 100% sure that I did and it would only complicate things. "Thanks." He laughed a bit.

"Night beautiful." I couldn't help the dumb smile that spread across my lips as I pressed my face back into him.

"Night stallion." I said it into his chest so I don't think he heard me. If he did he didn't say anything and I drifted off for the second time in his arms.

The next two months flew by. My father eventually proved to all of us that he could live in the prison without killing someone. Daryl and I continued to grow closer together, but during that whole time me avoided the issue of who was going to act as primary father figure to the child the would be coming into the world in six months. I had been thinking about names and there was no doubt that I was going to give her the last name of Dixon. I had picked the name Emma if it was a girl and I was stuck between Liam and Landon for a boy. I wasn't going to bother with middle names, because I really didn't think it mattered in this world.

I was starting to show and Merle of coarse was the first person to say anything about it. I knew Daryl had noticed, but he never said anything. I could never tell if he didn't like that I was pregnant or if he just chose not to talk about it because it made him think about how I got this way. I kept hoping to feel the baby move since it was obviously growing, but Hershel reassured me that the baby was okay and that I might not feel it move for a few more weeks. I worried that something was going to happen, that I would do something wrong and miscarry.

"What are ya thinkin bout?" Daryl and I were sitting on the over turned bus eating together under the stars. We did this every other day. We called it our date night and Maggie and Glenn started doing the same except their spot of choice was the guard tower out of sight of everyone else. "Hey," he nudged me getting my attention.

"Oh uh. Nothing." I answered looking out where everyone else sat around the fire, really I was looking were Merle sat eating his food next to Rick. Who would have thought that those two would get along after Merle cut his hand off because Rick left him handcuffed on a roof? I wanted to tell Daryl what I was thinking about. That I wanted to know how he felt about me having his brother's baby, if he wanted to be considered the baby's dad or step father or if he simply wanted to be Uncle Daryl. This whole situation gave me a head ache and I rubbed at my temples.

"It's not nothin." He put down his food and turned to face me putting his hands on each side of my face. "I know when yer lyin and I can tell when somethin's botherin ya. So what is it?" I huffed out a breath and looked into his eyes. How to start this conversation? Names. I will ask his opinion of the names I have chosen and see how he takes that.

I was just thinking about what I should name the baby." I said taking my eyes off of him to look at the food that I put in my mouth. "I was wondering if you had any suggestions." I spoke around the food picking up the bad habit from him. He smiled, bit it was a sad smile.

"Daisy. Daisy Leann Dixon." He cleared his throat. Apparently he had been thinking about names as well. "That is if ya want to give her a family name." I thought about it. I did like the sound of that name a lot better than Emma. Emma was such a typical name, but it's all I could come up with. I think he already knew that I intended to give the child its father's last name.

"I like it." I he smiled more happily this time but it was still tainted by sadness. "You said it's a family name?" he grunted out a yes. "Who's was it." I saw him tense up. I hadn't seen him do that in at least a month. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He instantly loosened up and nudged me playfully.

"Ya art to know ya can ask me anythin by now." I smiled and shrugged. Then it hit me, we had spoken about his mother his father and most everything about his past, but I never asked him about what Merle said about Dixon men always having one girl and two boys. "It's was my sisters name." he got quiet and I didn't speak knowing he was sorting through his thoughts. "She uh, died when she was nine. I didn't really know her I was just a baby, but Merle remembers her pretty well. He was eight when it happened" he stopped talking and I wrapped my arm around his upper arm rubbing it with my thumb like he had done to me so many times. It was my way of telling him I was sorry and he knew it. He hated the words "I'm sorry" just at much as I hated "Are you okay?" he didn't tell me how she died and I knew that was a conversation for another day of maybe he was leaving that part for Merle to fill me in on. "Ya might wanna ask Merle if its okay with him before ya name her that though. Not too sure how he'll feel about it?" it was really quiet between us for a while and everyone else had gone inside other than Merle who had taken of the job of clearing a few walkers off of the fence line. "Did ya have any boy names picked out just in case ya break tradition?" I nodded suddenly self conscious about the names I had picked.

"Yeah uh Liam or Landon, I'm not sure which one I like better." He didn't say anything which only made me more self conscious. "But I don't know I guess I have plenty of time to come up with something better."

"Na, I like Liam." He nudged me again and we both laughed. "Merle might say it's a pansy name though." I laughed again.

"Since when do I care what Merle thinks?" he knew I was only half serious. He was helping me down off of the bus when a shot rang out. Suddenly I was on the ground and was being pulled to the other side of the bus away from the fence.

"Say here. Don't move." Then he ran away in the Direction Merle had been. More shots rang out and I heard yelling. I was having trouble breathing and I didn't know what was going on. So I did what Daryl said and stayed hunkered down behind the bus.

**A/N**: Reviews and constructive criticism are very welcomed. Don't be shy.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19-

I stayed hidden like Daryl told me to. I saw others running out of the building with guns in their hands. Shot after shot rang out in the night and I still had no clue what was happening. All I knew was that people were attacking us. I watched as Daryl and Merle shot at unknown people beyond the fence. "Bay!" I heard my father scream my name before I looked his way just in time to see his arms flailing as he falls to the ground.

"Dad!" I went to run after him but someone grabbed me around my shoulders stopping me from going to his side and out into the danger zone. "Daddy!" Even though I knew it was stupid and whoever was holding me wasn't going to let me go, I tried like crazy to get away and to my father. "God damn it! Let me go!" The arms around me tightened. Strangely, I wasn't crying everything was happening to fast for that.

"Stop!" I turned to see who was holding me back. It was Rick. "You can't do anything for him now." All I could do was stare blankly at him. "Stay here, you go out there and you will end up like him. Understand?" I nodded vigorously. He put his hands out to me palms down. "Stay." Damn he didn't have to treat me like I was a dumb dog.

"Yeah." I yelled it without meaning to and he ran off out into the war. I screamed and jumped when I heard bullets hitting the metal of the other side of the bus. "Holly shit." My breaths came heavily as I kneeled behind the bus wrapping my hands tightly around my slightly swollen belly. "Stay with me little one." I looked at where my father's lifeless body lay. "I can't loose you to." That made me think of the brothers the closest thing to family I had now. I searched the areas that I could see. Maggie and Beth stood behind a junk pile. They were mostly blocked by file cabinets. Rick was up in one of the guard towers. Glenn, and Hershel were behind another junk pile firing shots. I assumed Carl was inside taking care of Judith. Where were Daryl and Merle?

About that time Merle came around the corner kneeling behind the bus before he pulled a rifle out, propped it up on his metal arm firing off three shots. "Ya okay?"

"Ya...yeah. Fine." When he was done firing he scooted over next to me. "Are you okay?" he nodded too breathless to talk. "What about Daryl?" He huffed out something inaudible. "What's going on out there?" I held up his finger for me to wait, but I didn't want to wait I wanted to know why my father had just been shot. "Damn it Merle out with it!"

"Daryl's fine. We're being attacked." Yeah I knew that you idiot. "By a town that I used to live in before I got kicked out." Whoa what? "Ya stay here ya here me?" Once again all I could do was nod before he too ran out into the darkness. How could they see where they were going and who they were shooting at when all we had was moonlight? It was then that I remembered the gun that I still kept at the small of my back. I pulled it out and attempted to get control of my breathing. It wasn't working I was too worried about everyone else.

"Hey." I turned in the opposite direction of the one Merle had just left in to see Daryl coming at me down the length of the bus. "Come here." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my head quickly. The gun fire was slowly fading. "Can ya hold out here a little longer?" I nodded my head against his shoulder and he kissed my head quickly again before he ran off again.

The shots finally stopped, but I didn't dare stand up and leave my hiding spot until Daryl and Merle came and got me. Once I knew it was safe I made my way to my father's body. It was then that reality and pain hit me in the chest like a tons of bricks. My father was dead, he wasn't coming back. The two men closest to me caught my arms and lowered me to the ground when my knees gave out on me. I leaned forward letting my head rest on his chest like I had once done to my mother. My tears soaked into my father's shirt and my sobs shook his lifeless body. I heard people talking, but I didn't really listen to what they were saying.

My father and I had started getting along better than we ever had. He himself had given me bow lessons and they had gone well. He was even getting excited about becoming a grandfather. Now? Now I would never be able to laugh at his uncalled for jokes, never see him smile. My child would never know what its like to sit in their grandfathers lap and hear him tell a tail of the good old days. Or tell them funny things that their mother did. My child would be completely grand parentless. And I, I was parentless. I had no biological family left. I felt more alone in that moment than I had in a while. But that was when I felt seven distinctly different hands on my back. I appreciated the gesture and it stopped my loneliness in its tracks, but it only made me cry harder. After a while the hands disappeared, one by one. I finally lifted my head to see I was alone, save Daryl standing out of earshot next to the building.

"I'm so sorry dad." My words were so tainted with sobs that no human would understand them, but I don't guess that mattered. He could here them just fine where ever he was at. "I…I love you dad." I rested my head on his stomach again seeing the hole in his chest. "I didn't tell you that enough. But I do, I love you so much. I'm so sor-" His hand twitched in mine and I raised my head up to look at his face. His eyes were opened but they did not belong to my father the blue of them was no longer clear. It was a milky pussy looking color that made my stomach churn. I stood and Daryl was at my side in a flash. My dads hand moved towards me but he remained on the ground. Just the hand I had been holding reached for me. I knew what I had to do and I felt Daryl's arm wrap around my side in encouragement. "You once told me you could shoot me if it was best for both is us." The walker of my dad made a gurgling sound that almost sounded like one of agreement making my job that much harder. My voice was shaking like crazy but I managed to get out what I needed to "This is what's best for both of us. I'm so sorry daddy." I pulled the trigger putting a bullet through his walker skull.

I didn't feel the gun being taken out of my hand or Daryl picking me up into his arms and carrying me into the cell block and laying me on our bed. I didn't see, I didn't hear, I didn't even smell. I was nothing but an empty shell of a woman. I lost track of how many days I just laid there. How many nights I slept with Daryl behind me doing the only thing that got through to me. Rubbing slow small circles on my stomach with his thumb. I knew he spoke to me and the baby sometimes, but I didn't pay attention to what he was saying. I ate, but I didn't pay attention to what it was. I didn't care, because I didn't do it for me. I did it to take care of my unborn child.

"We have to bury yer father." These were the words that pulled me out of whatever state I was in. Well, they pulled my out enough for Daryl and Maggie to walked me outside where my father had been wrapped in a clean white sheet and laid next to a grave. Hershel started the funeral but I stopped him.

"Stop." Everyone looked at me for once with a look that said something other than are you crazy. "I can't do this, not yet." Daryl and Merle pulled me off to the side. "I have to get something from his truck first." I explained looking at them like they were the crazy ones.

"It should be safe, I mean we haven't seen them in at least two weeks." Merle was the one to say it and Daryl nodded his head before he went to explain to Rick where we were going to go.

When we got to the truck I opened the glove box and pulled out a pink lined piece of paper with a pink rose boarder, the letter my mother wrote. I handed it to Daryl to hold for me then got in the truck sitting in the middle. My fathers presence was everywhere and I debated leaving the other item in the truck just to I could have it for myself. But I grabbed the faded blue Chevrolet fuzzy dice off of the rear view mirror and threw them to Daryl to who was standing at the opened passenger door. I was looking around the truck remembering the nights we had spent sleeping in it because we were too scared to leave its comforts. That's when I noticed, for the first time, the corner of something sticking out of the sun visor. I folded it down and a picture fell to the floor. Merle, who was on the drivers side picked it up and handed it to me.

Fresh tears filled my eyes as I clutched the precious thing to my chest. It was a group shot of the family. My father, Mother and I standing out in the yard when I was sixteen. It was taken before prom. I made myself wipe the tears and climb out of the truck. I stuck the picture into my pocket then went around to the tool box that we stored all of out stuff in and pulled out one of my fathers arrows. The ones he saved because he had made them himself. From the choice of the river cane shaft, to the feathers all the way down to the chipped arrowhead secured to the tip with sinew. I took the other things from Daryl before we headed back to the prison. I hated leaving my fathers truck behind. He had worked on that thing since I was born. That stupid stinky truck practically raised me and he loved it just as much if not more than he did me. But it was a gas guzzler and we couldn't afford to have a truck like that in this world anymore.

When we got back the others were still there waiting on us. Hershel got back to what he was saying about what type of man my father was from what he learned in the short time of knowing him. Hershel asked me if I wanted to say something and I shook my head no. "Not right now." Daryl and Merle heaved my father into the hole. I chose to speak after that and kneeled down next to the grave looking at the clean sheet tied with rope. I set the stuff on the ground beside me. "I swear my father thought he belonged in the western days as an Indian." I picked up the arrow. "This is one of the first arrows me ever made himself, he's had it every since I can remember. He even chipped the arrowhead." I tapped the tip of it with my finger before I tossed it into the hole next to him. I then picked up the dice. "My mother hated these things, she called them tacky." I laughed sadly at the memory. "But I always liked them. They were a really pretty shade of sparkly blue when they were new." I tossed them into the hole beside the arrow. The letter came next and I almost didn't want to throw it in. "My mother wrote this after she got bit. She wrote it to me, but it belongs with him. _She_ belongs with him." I tossed it in and stood up. The more I had spoke the more my words had become clear and strong.

"Would you like to sing?" The question came from Hershel and I didn't answer.

"Yer father liked to hear ya sing more than any of us." Merle chipped in. I wanted to, but I didn't know if my voice could make it through. I saw Maggie and Beth nod to each other then step closer to me.

"We will help if you want." I nodded to them. If I drifted off maybe they could pick it up.

"Do y'all know see you again?" They both nodded and I sat down on the ground not feeling like standing up anymore. They started singing the background part with out warning letting me know that they were ready whenever I was. "Said goodbye turned around and you were gone, gone, gone. Faded into the setting sun, slipped away. But I won't cry 'cause I know, I'll never be lonely, for you are the stars to me. You are the light I follow. I will see you again, whoa. This is not where it ends. I will carry you with me, oh... Till I see you again." My voice started to shake and crack so I joined Beth and Maggie in singing the background oh's until my I could get my tears under control. "I can hear those echoes in the wind at night calling me in time, back to you. In a place far away where the water meets the sky, the thought of it makes me smile. You were my tomorrow. I will see you again, whoa. This is not where it ends. I will carry you with me, oh... Till I see you again." I gave up on trying to sing and rested my head in my hands. Thankfully no one touched me and Beth picked up singing the end of the song.

"I will see you again, whoa. This is not where it ends. I will carry you with me, oh... Till I see you again. Till I see you again... Till I see you again... yeah yeah yea oh whoa. Till I see you again." I knew I had to finish the song I started. So I lifted up my head and we finished it together. "Said goodbye, turned around and you were gone, gone, gone." She smiled at me and patted my shoulder before she walked away with everyone else leaving the two prisoners to cover the hole while Daryl and Merle sat with me. Well Merle sat, Daryl paced not really sure of what to do.

"That was real pretty miss. I'm sorry about your father." The prisoner with the red handle bar mustache said to me. They had been allowed to join our group since the attack. So far they were okay, but Daryl still didn't trust them.

"Shut up and keep working. Ain't nobody asked ya." I gave the prisoner an apologetic look before I put my head back in my hands. "We gotta get back inside. We don't know if more people are comin." Daryl was aggravated and upset still pacing behind us.

"Then go inside ya pussy. I ain't afraid of them idiots and she needs to he out here." Merle fired back if I wouldn't have know Merle I would have said that he was taunting Daryl, but I did know him and he was simply stating the obvious.

"I ain't a fuckin pussy!" Daryl came storming over and jerked Merle from my side and shoved him. "She needs to be inside out of danger." I had stopped looking at them but I was still listening. The prisoners hadn't stopped what they were doing. They completely ignored the fight going on behind us.

"She needs to be with him right now. Not inside that dark depressing cell block. She is pregnant, moody as hell and she just lost her father. On top of that she has been suicidal in the past." I hard Daryl mumble something that I couldn't make out. "Just leave her be little brother."

"Well we wont have to worry about her killing herself if she gets shot now will we?" I was getting tired of them talking about me like I wasn't sitting right here, like I didn't still have a brain. They were so busy arguing that they didn't even notice me stand up. I pulled the pictured out of my pocket. I was dressed in a sparkly neon pink strapless ball gown dress that brought out the color of my hair and eyes but also brought attention to the fat around my arms. My father was standing to the right looking like a proud dad for once and my mother was on my left. I definitely looked more like her than dad. Her wavy hair matched mine though hers was cut shorter, I had her big round doe eyes that looked good on her but I always thought looked too big for my face. I also got her long bridged nose that went well with my oval face shape.

I made the continued fighting blur in my mind as I looked between my father and me. I had gotten his mouth. Our top lip was a little thinner than the bottom and we had a prominent cupids bow. Ugh I missed him already. From the moment he was released from the cell it was like he had glued himself to my left side. He's gone, what was I going to do without him? I ran my thumb over his face in the picture. _I love you dad_. I thought before I tucked the picture into my back pocket to keep it from getting wrinkled in my front one. "I said leave he be little brother!"

"You guys know I'm standing right her right?" Daryl dropped the fist that he had raised up at his brother as they turned to me. I kept my voice calm. "I can decide for myself if I want to be out here or if I want to go back inside a stuffy nasty prison. I have a brain of my own and I don't appreciate the two of you acting like freaking Neanderthals." I got that look that I was so used to again. "Now, considering I'm NOT suicidal," I shot Merle a look because he knows he is the one that made me that way before "I'm going inside." I started walking towards the prison and I felt a familiar arm wrap around my waist. I grabbed his hand and removed it from me letting it drop at his side. I knew it probably hurt him, but I didn't care at that moment. I didn't feel like being touched even by him.

It didn't keep him from following me up to the perch where I laid down on our bed. He kneeled in front of me brushing my long waves, which had grown at least four inches in the past months, out of my face. "I'm sorry." I didn't know if he was apologizing for talking about me like I wasn't right there or if he was sorry about my father. "I just didn't want anything to happen to ya." Why? We all knew we would be walkers eventually, everyone dies sooner or later and in this past year and a half it had always been sooner, so why did I even let myself get close to Daryl. That was just one more heart break I was going to have to deal with. "Bailey I…" he didn't finish the sentence. "Ya probably wanna be alone." My anger was suddenly gone and I was sinking back into that dark place where I didn't do anything but sit or sleep. I didn't want to be there again. I didn't want to be numb anymore I wanted to feel something…anything. My hand reached out faster than I thought possible stopping Daryl who looked at me with wide eyes. I stood up just as fast and pressed my lips to his pulling him backwards into a cell and pushing him against one of the walls. I still couldn't feel anything. I needed more. So I jerked his shirt open hearing the pearl snaps pop. I went to pull my shirt off but Daryl grabbed my hands softly stopping me. "No, not now. Not while yer…" his rejection sparked something, anger. Anger was back and it was something.

"While I'm what, Daryl?! While I'm a fucking basket case!?" I shoved him. "Come on say it. I'm a crazy bitch and ya know it!" He just stared at me like he was trying to figure me out. "Oh my god just say what you're fucking thinking for once!" I shoved him against the wall again and he came at me grabbing my hands in a vice-like grip that only made my anger meter rise. I growled trying to get away from him. His face darkened along with his eyes. Fear was suddenly mixed in with my anger. It had been a long time since he had scared me. He put one hand on my hip leading me to the chair in the corner.

"I can't be with ya like that when yer like this okay? It ain't right. I ain't gonna take advantage of ya. I love ya too much for that shit." It was like he had thrown cold water on me. Every bit of anger dissolved into complete and total confusion. I could almost literally feel the wires in my head sizzling and popping.

He had let go of my wrists letting them rest in my lap. I didn't look at him, I couldn't. So I looked past him at the gray wall. The longer he stood there the more I got my breathing under control and I realized I wasn't numb. I was just there. Like, I knew where I was and what I was feeling, but I didn't know what I should do with it all. "What did you just say?" My words were monotone and I still didn't look at him.

I heard him take a deep breath then I had no choice but to look at him because his face was in front of mine and his hands were on my cheeks keeping me from looking away. "I said I love ya." A pain shot through my chest. Was he expecting me to say it back? Did I truly love him or was I just used to him? His eyes never left my face nor mine his. He looked like I felt, bombarded by emotions. His hands slid from my face when I didn't respond. I had hurt him again, I knew it, but he didn't show it. We walked out leaving me in the random cell by myself.

Oddly, I didn't want to be alone. So I left the cell in search of someone to talk to. My first choice was Maggie, but she was no where to be seen and Beth was caring for Judith. So I decided I would look on the bridge and see if maybe she had taken up watch there. Instead I found Rick. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't know you were here." I explained while leaving.

"I wouldn't mind the company if you wanted to stay." He explained so I walked back over to stand a couple feet away from him over looking the field where we had the garden. "I'm sorry about your father." I shrugged the comment off. "I know you're probably going to punch me for asking, but I need to know. Are you okay?" I cut my eyes over at him making him raise his hands up in surrender.

"I'm alive." I turned my eyes back to the garden. "I guess that's all anyone can ask for now day's." I looked at where my father's body had been completely buried. "I don't even know why I let myself get so close to Daryl. Everyone I love has been taken from me, mom, Dad, grandma; it's only a matter of time till I loose Daryl to." I wiped at a stray tear refusing to let anymore tears fall. They didn't fix anything and still couldn't bring back the people I love.

"Has Daryl ever told you that only a Dixon can kill a Dixon?" I hummed out a no still looking at the wooden cross at the head of my father's grave. "Well he's said it before and so far it's been true. If anyone can survive in this world it's those two." Was that supposed to make me feel better? "Are you two still fighting?" That question made me look at him. "Sorry, it's not any of my business but y'all were pretty loud." I was tired of standing so I sat down leaning my back against the metal table top smoothing my hair out of my face in the process.

"I don't know." He moved to sit down across from me leaning against the fence. "I don't know if we are fighting or if all the fight was coming from me." He asked what I meant. "I was just so tired of just sitting there, not living, not feeling, just…existing. I wanted to feel something again."

"So you started a fight with Daryl." He finished for me. Yeah, I guess that is what I did. I nodded. "So go tell him you're sorry." He said that like it was the simplest thing in the world and I made a face. "What?"

"He hates for someone to tell him their sorry just like I hate people asking me if I'm okay." I explained. "Plus he said something that made things way more complicated than they needed to be right now." He smiled. "You probably heard that too did you?" he nodded.

"Like I said, y'all were pretty loud." I started picking at the dirt under my nails. "I didn't hear you say it back to him." I glanced at him. "Sorry guess that's none of my business either." It wasn't his business, but I needed someone to talk to and he was there.

"How do you know if you love someone or not?" The question flew out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Well, would you do absolutely anything to make him happy?" Okay so he knew I was talking about Daryl, whatever.

"Of course." I would never deny Daryl something that would make him happy if I could help it.

"Do you want to know every little thing about him no matter how ugly or insignificant it is?" I nodded remembering some of the things he had shared with me. "Do you ever feel embarrassed around him?"

"I used to, but not so much anymore." Daryl and I were much more open with each other than we used to be.

"I guess the big question is could you picture yourself with anyone else?" I shook my head vigorously at that one making Rick laugh. "Yeah I don't think there's anyone out there that can put up with the crap that you two dish out." The joke faded as I thought about everything we had just went over. "So do you love him?" I didn't answer him. I loved Daryl I just didn't want to admit it to anyone myself included. "You do and you know it." I stood up and looked back at my father's grave.

"I can't love him." Rick moved to stand next to me. "All that will do is put his head on the chopping block." Rick made a sound like he thought I was being ridiculous and asked me what on earth I was talking about. "Those things got my Grandma, my mother, and now my father. They have taken everyone I love. If I love Daryl then all that will do is put a target on his back." I looked at Rick when I heard him growl.

"Are you kidding me?" He sounded really mad. "He loves you, you love him. Don't throw that away like I did!" I blinked at him. "I regret not fixing things with her every day. If you don't tell him you love him then you will too." He put one of his hands on his hip like he does when he is beings serious. "Ill give you the same advice my father gave me that I was too stupid to listen to. Don't go to bed mad at each other. If you have a problem, fix it before your head hits that pillow." I was stunned. Who would have guessed that Rick would have been better to talk to than Maggie? Every word he said made since, but thinking about all of it gave me a head ache. "I swear if you don't go talk to him right now I'll lock you in one of those cells for a week." I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack." His voice was serious, but the way he smiled at me suggested he wasn't really that serious.

"You are so weird." I looked back over the field, but he grabbed my shoulders and gave me a light shove to the door.

"And I told you to go talk to him." I rolled my eyes and looked at him before I pulled the door open and left Rick on the bridge. I went to the perch to find Daryl, but he wasn't there so I looked in the holding room. He wasn't there either.

"Are you looking for Daryl?" Beth and Carl were the only one in the room, I told her I was. "He and Merle went out scouting about ten minutes ago." I sighed knowing they were going to be gone for a few hours. I figured I would spend this time with Beth, Carl and Little Ass Kicker.

I was holding Little Ass Kicker when Daryl and Merle walked in three hours later. I smiled at him out of habit and to my surprise he smiled back. I thought he would be pissed at me for yelling at him, but he walked over and tickled Judith before he kissed me on the cheek. "I wanna talk to ya." His voice was soft so I told him okay and laid Little Ass Kicker in her crib before we headed up to my old cell.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I knew he hated those words, but he mainly hated them when I said them about something I couldn't help. He mainly hated how a person said them because they pitied him. I didn't mean these like that. He stopped walking and turned to me.

"I ain't mad about that. I understand ya on that one. I just…" he bit at his nails for a second and spit whatever he bit off onto the floor. "I didn't mean to tell ya like that." I knew what he was talking about and he knew it. I took his hands into mine and tugged him closer to me.

"It's okay, I'm glad you told me when you did." I didn't realize it until then, but I really was glad. "It probably wasn't good for the baby for me to get as worked up as I was getting. I just need to know that you meant it." He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"With every bone in my body." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him before I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"I love you too." I whispered it into his ear before I kissed it. I felt him pull me tighter to him. I involuntarily made a sound of discomfort because he was squishing my stomach. He loosened up, but didn't let go. "Daryl when did you know you loved me?" he pulled back so that he could look at me.

"I dunno. I think it just kinda happened." I smiled. "What about ya?" I shrugged.

"Same answer." He took one of my hands in his and kissed it. "Would you mind telling me again?" I asked with a laughed and he smiled widely.

"I love ya Bailey." I felt like if I smiled any bigger my face would explode. "Always will." This time when I threw my arms around him he picked me up and spun me around. Our laughter was interrupted by Merle.

"Ya give it to her yet?" he sat me down and we turned to face Merle. What's he talking about? What was he going to give me?

"Not yet." Daryl looked slightly pissed as I looked between the two of them. I thought he was going to punch Merle.

"What's he talking about?" I asked with a soft voice hoping to defuse the situation. Daryl turned to kiss me on the cheek.

"Nothin, don't worry about it." He walked out leaving me and Merle in the cell alone.

"What did you mess up this time?" I asked him with my hand on my hip, but he just laughed.

"Can't tell ya unless I want a broken nose. Ya will just have to wait and find out." I growled half heartily. He was so aggravating sometimes. So I left the cell to look for Daryl. I found him in the holding room feeding Judith. Cooing to her seemed to calm him down and I loved the sound of it. I sat down next to him on the stairs and ticked her feet making her smile around the bottle. He glanced at me before he went back to talking to her. She hiccupped and I looked to my left to comment to my father on how cute that was before I remembered that he wasn't there. For a single split second I forgot that he was gone and the realization hit me all over again.

Daryl must have noticed what I did because he wrapped the arm that wasn't holding Judith around me and gave me a slight squeeze. I hopped up off of the stairs and went to my father's cell. I sat on his bed, pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them holding the picture in my hands. "You were right, Daryl loves me. He told me today." I felt a tinge of happiness mix with the sadness I was feeling. "He makes me so happy. Is that bad? I shouldn't be this happy when you're gone." I closed my eyes and pressed my face to my knees. _You know I would want you to be happy. Don't greave over me for forever_. The words in my head were in my father's voice. I lifted my head to say something back to the picture when Daryl walked slowly into the cell.

"Ya thought he was there didn't ya?" I nodded before I looked back at the picture. "Whatcha lookin at?" he sat down on the bed in front of me and I handed him the picture. "That yer ma?" I hummed. "She was pretty, knew ya had to get it from somewhere because ya sure didn't get it from Sean." I smiled sadly at him and quickly wiped a stray tear that fell from the mixed emotions. "Hey, come 'ere." His words were whispered as he opened his arms to me and I slid over letting him pick me up and sit me in his lap. I felt like a little kid, but I didn't care I liked the comfort of his arms around me and how it didn't hurt me when he rested his head on mine that was resting on his shoulder.

He didn't need to speak to make me feel better. With him, silence said it all. Words would only ruin what he was telling me with his actions. Like the tender kisses he left on my cheek or the light swipe of his thumb to clear away a stray tear. We stayed like that until the light in the building dwindled away and Maggie came to tell us supper was ready. "Do ya feel like goin down stairs, or do ya want me to bring it to ya?" he asked with me still in his lap and brushed away a stray lock of my hair.

"I'll go." I answered and he slid me off of his lap before he stood and held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and he cautiously pulled me to my feet.

The dinner conversation was centered on the attack. According to Merle the Governor had been killed. They found his walker form earlier when he and Daryl had gone scouting. Rick asked him if we needed to be worried about another attack from the town that Merle had gotten kicked out of, Woodbury. The answer was iffy. They weren't sure if the Governors right hand man had been killed. If he hadn't been, another attack was almost guaranteed. If he had been killed then there would be no one left in Woodbury that would have the courage to attack us again. The conversation long outlasted the food, but the standing plan was for Rick, Daryl and Glenn to drive out to Woodbury and see for themselves.

A yawn escaped my lips and I rubbed at my eyes trying to keep them open. "Ya tired?" Daryl asked and I hummed in response. "Night everyone." Daryl spoke quietly as he grabbed me by the hand and led me up to the perch. Merle had moved to one of the lower level cells two months ago so the perch was all ours. I changed into my usual bed clothes, one of Daryl's shirts and my boy shorts panties. He was already in bed by the time I was finished changing so he held up the covers and I slid in. I snuggled up to him burring my face into his chest and wrapping my arms around him. "I have a question for ya." I pulled back and looked at him realizing that he hadn't turned off the light yet. "What kinda wedding did ya want when ya was a little girl?" amazingly enough this question wasn't out of the norm for him. Before he had asked me what toys I liked to play with when I was little. If I preferred Barbie's or toy guns. Of coarse I replied that I liked Barbie's and played dress up a lot. What girl didn't want to be a princess when she grew up? So this question didn't strike me as odd.

"I wanted the whole princess wedding like all little girls do. Pretty white ball gown dress, huge cake, the whole shebang. Although I think white is out of the question now. Why? What kinda wedding did you want? Or do men think about that stuff?" I asked.

"Eh, I never really wanted anything big; then again I never thought I would ever find someone who would wanna marry me." I laughed before I pressed my lips to his letting him deepen it. We carried on for a while before I ended up falling asleep with my head on his shoulder and his hand on my belly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer :** I do not own AMC's The Walking Dead or any of its characters. No matter how much I would like to.

**Chapter 20**

I stretched and yawned hoping the previous day was just a dream, but when I didn't hear my father whistling from the holding room I knew it had all been real. Two contrasting events happened. I buried my father and Daryl and I confessed our love for one another. Sad and happy all in one day. Daryl's not at my side when I wake, but this doesn't surprise me because he often leaves early to go into the woods. It's the note lying on his pillow that strikes me as odd. He's never written me a note before. I roll over to his side of the bed and reach out my left hand to pick it up, but I freeze the second my hand lands on the neatly folded notebook paper. Am I seeing things or is there really a diamond ring on my finger? No, I'm not seeing things because it's tangible when slide it off to examine it.

The band is made of what I'm assuming is white gold and the heart shaped stone is flawless. Its simple beauty is so overwhelming that I forget about the not completely. Is this Daryl's way of asking me to marry him? If it is my answer is nothing but yes. I just sit there staring at it wondering why he just didn't give it to me when he got back from hunting or scouting or whatever he was off doing. But eventually I remember the note and slip the ring back where Daryl put it before I pick up the paper.

Bay, I've gone to Woodbury with the others. I wanted to ask you in person, but I didn't know how long we're going to be gone or what's going to go down out there. So will you marry me? I'll be expecting an answer when we get back. I love you, stay safe.

-Daryl.

His hand writing is neater than I thought it would be and there is a pretty quick-sketch of a rose at the bottom of the paper. I didn't even know that he could draw. I don't want it to get messed up so I fold it back and put it under his pillow for now. When I go down stairs no one seems to notice the thing on my finger and I wonder what they think about it. I have never discussed the idea of Daryl and me getting married to anyone. Other than mine and Daryl's few short and private conversations about it.

The day drags on like someone has tied led to my feet and my head seems to be a bit in the clouds. The only thing is I can't figure out if it's rain clouds or a pretty fluffy white ones you see on a good day. I'm ecstatic that Daryl has given me a ring, but I hate him being gone. I know he left me to help ensure the safety of the group, and I'm glad he has no problem doing what he thinks is best for everyone. I just wish he could have stayed here and let Rick and Merle go.

The longer I wait the more restless I get and by the time the sun starts to set I am uncontrollable. Knitting doesn't do enough to keep my mind busy. I've washed all the clothes, folded them and returned them to their owner's cells, reorganized the food and tidied all the vacant cells. I even replaced the batteries in the lamp by our bed since it was getting dim. I even figured out for myself how to charge the few rechargeable batteries we had using the soar panels.

I'm currently pacing the holding area with the baby in my hands when she starts crying. "Would you calm down you're upsetting her?" Beth speaks the words but even she knows there is no calming me down she, Hershel and Maggie have tried all day. Even Carl had tried, telling me that if his father were here he would insist that I sit down and rest, but I ignored him and kept doing whatever I was doing at the time. Hershel comes and takes the baby from me before Carl hands me a bowl of food.

"Have you eaten anything today?" he asks and I nod telling him I ate breakfast. I pick at the food knowing Daryl would want me to eat. If here were he he'd practically shove it down my throat, but he's not and I can't make myself choke down whatever is in the plastic bowl. "He's going to be okay. You know that right?" I just look at the boy no, young man, sitting across from me at one of the two tables left in the room.

"Yeah, but that doesn't keep me from worrying." I push the food around and manage to choke down a few bites. "They should me back by now." About that time the door flies open and Rick rushes in with some blond headed woman in his arms. She is dead to the world, but I can see he chest rise and fall once before Rick takes her to a cell. Glenn comes in followed by an angry Merle who is telling Hershel to grab his medical bag. A woman with short graying hair comes in the still opened door and I run to it expecting Daryl. Where is he? He's not at the door and he's not inside. Is he at the guard tower or taking watch on the bus? I find Glenn, who I now see has a black eye, leaning against the doorway to the cell block looking more tired than I have ever seen him before. "Where is he?" He doesn't answer. "Where. Is. He?" I elaborate every word and he still doesn't answer.

I press my back against the nearest wall and slide to the floor. Is he dead? Did he turn? Who killed him? Why didn't they at least bring his body back? A pair of strong hands grabs me by the arms and stands me up but I don't really look at who it is until they make me. Merle. "Don't cry he ain't dead." I ask again where he is. "He got left behind. I'm goin to get him as soon as the sun's up." This settles me some, but not enough and he call tell. He takes me by the hand and tries to leads me to the perch, but my legs feel as if they are made of wood. So he picks me up and carries me bridal style. I don't like it but I don't protest because the alternative would be to throw me over his shoulder and that sounds dangerous considering my condition. He sets me on the bed then crouches in front of me. "He is goin to be fine. I ain't gonna have it any other way." It feels more like I'm looking through him than at him. He picks up my hand and I feel like jerking it back, but I don't. "Look at this." He makes his voice demanding without yelling. How does he do that? The ring shines brightly back at me. "This means he will return to you, no matter what." This pulls me out of my brief speechless state.

"Err! Why did he have to go? He didn't have too. You and Rick could have handled it." I feel like hitting him just to have something to take my anger out on. Instead I huff if all out in a growling breath and let my head fall against this chest. It's the closest I have been to him in a long time. He brushes back my loose hair before he lets his hand rest on my neck. I find it strangely comforting so we stay that way until I remember the two new women. I lift up my head and give Merle a small smile as he brushes another loose wave out of my face. "Thanks. Uh, who were those women?" His face contorts into a grimace. "What happened that caused him to be left behind?" he sighs and sits down on the floor.

"The blond that Rick was carryin was Andrea, the older one was Carol." I've heard both of these names before. Andrea was the woman Rick said I reminded him of and Carol, what had I heard about Carol before? I know I heard Maggie and Beth talking about her and a girl named Sophia, but I couldn't remember what they said. "We found them in that town locked in the torture chamber." The torture chamber? What the hell was this town like? Never mind I don't want to know. "We threw in some foggers to get then out and somehow he got lost in it." I can tell just by the uncensored look on his face that he blames himself. "We didn't have time to look for him because the others were closing in on us." So he could be captured in that chamber for all we know. My eyes had fallen to the floor during the story. "Look at me. He ain't goin to get hurt. He's a fighter, my baby brother. Give him a hammer and he'll crap out nails." I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. "What?" The question was drawn out with suspicion.

"He's said the same about you." He smiled but didn't say anything. I don't know what came over me but I cupped his face in my hands and stared into his gray blue eyes. It's not an intimate action, just one of desperation. "That's why you have to bring him back to me. Only a Dixon can save a Dixon." He scoffed at me turning the phrase around on them, but anyone who didn't know him would have taken it as a smile. Carol chose that moment to come up the stairs. A smile spread over her skinny face at the sight.

"I hear you two are expecting." Of coarse this is the first bit of gossip to get to her. We both stood up and faced her. She had Little Ass Kicker in her arms. "Congratulations." The unspoken words "on you inevitable death." hang unspoken at the end of her sentence. I just met her, so I have to remind myself that first impressions are not always true.

"Thanks." The word comes out a bit harsher than I expected and Merle gives me a nudge. What was that for? I looked up him silently asking and he shrugs. Carol walks over and scoops up my hand before I have a chance to protest.

"Oh how beautiful, nice job Merle." Huh? Did no one tell her that we are not together just because I'm pregnant? "How long have you two been "married"?" She air quotes the word and I feel the overwhelming need to punch this stupid woman. I jerk my hand out of her grip and ball my hands into fists at me side. My nails dig into my palms sending a sharp pain through the scar on my palm. Merle notices my discomfort and jumps in telling her we are not together. She pulls a confused face. "Oh I just assumed that you two were a couple considering the baby and well from what I just saw…" I find myself glaring at her and I have to make the muscles around my eyes loosen. What did she come up here for in the first place? It feels like her only motive was to torture me. "Anyways I was wondering of one of you could watch her? We need all the hands we can get down there to help with Andrea." I volunteer because I don't like seeing Judith in the arms of a woman that she and I don't know, and Merle would be a bigger help with the medical stuff.

"Shush little one." Those three whispered words are all it takes for the child to stop crying. "Nice to meet you." I say it with a harsh finality letting her know she is more than welcome to leave now. Everything this woman said rubbed me the wrong way, and overlooking it isn't working. She frowns and leaves. Merle raises an eyebrow at me before heading down to help with what ever is wrong with Andrea. I know it is mean of me, but I could care less about what is wrong with her if she had anything to do with that place then I have nothing to do with her. But I do hear a lot of screaming coming from the cell she is in. I just ignore her and walk the perch with a sleeping Little Ass Kicker until the screaming fades and Merle comes back up. "All done?"

"Yep, we had to reset some bones." That explains the screams and the extra hands to hold her down. He motions to Little Ass Kicker "Ya can go put her in her crib. It's pretty late and ya both need to sleep." I suggest that he take Judith down since he has to go back down anyways, but he backs up when I hold her out to him like he thinks she is as dangerous as a biter. "Na, I ain't goin down. I'm moving back up here for the night. I don't want ya to be alone." I just shrug and do as he suggested.

When I get back to the perch I find that he has in fact moved some mattresses and blankets onto the perch. His bed is parallel to mine and only a foot away. With the perch no longer private I have to change in my old cell. I wear one of Daryl's shirts out of habit hand cover my string bikini panties with a pair of sleep shorts. The shirt smells like Daryl making me miss him that much more. Merle doesn't say anything when he sees me. He just flips over pulling the covers up to his chin. I slide into bed and do the same, but sleep doesn't come and I can't tell if Merle is sleeping or not.

I'm getting restless again. So I get out of bed and grab my lamp before I go down stairs to the holding room. There's a deck of cars on the table so I start building a card tower. I've gotten three levels done when Carol walks into the room. "Can't sleep either?" She asked and I grunt in response. "I didn't mean to make you mad earlier." She said it innocently. "No one told me about the ra-"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I rub at my temples, because I'm tired, I have a headache and I can't sleep. I really don't want to hear the word rape come out of her mouth. So I quickly knock down the tower, clean up the mess and put the cards back where I got them from. She picks them up and starts dealing out two stacks.

"Do you want to play a game?" She asks nicely, but I stand from the table making her frown at me in confusion.

"Nope." I walked from the room and back to my bed. I almost feel bad about being rude to her, but I can't help it. I hate the look she gave me after she found out how I became pregnant and I hate the sickeningly sweet tone of her voice she uses to try and make up for it. She came from the place that Daryl is trapped in now. It's her fault that he got left behind. If she and that stupid blond hadn't been there, hadn't needed rescuing, then he would be here with me right now. God that sounds selfish doesn't it? But I don't care because I don't know or trust these two women.

I make my way to the perch on silent feet. "Where ya been?" Merle's words make me jump and almost step on him. "Ya woke me up when ya left." I can't help but think that he is the direct opposite of Daryl. You practically have to scream at Daryl to wake him up, but the lightest sound will disturb Merle. I'm pretty sure he's this way because he has spent his whole life looking out for Daryl, even if it was in his own unorthodox way.

I pretend that he didn't startle me and slip back into my bed. "I went down stairs for a while. I can't sleep, can't shut my mind off." He just tells me to tell him where I'm going the next time I decide to run off. I eventually slip into the half way place between consciousness and dreamland. Images and happy moments I've had with Daryl and my father fill my light dreams. Some with just me and my father, some with just Daryl then some of all three of us. I lay half conscious on my stomach with my fists tucked under my chin. I'm unaware of the tears that slowly trickle down my face accompanied by quiet sobs.

I'm jerked back to awake when a calloused hand lands on my upper back. In my drowsy state I think its Daryl, but then I realize no one is there but the person lying in the bed next to mine, Merle. Dim moonlight drifting in from the high windows highlights his open eyes. I sent him a sad smile because I know he is just trying to make me feel better and he returns it with one that looks just as sad as I feel. He whispers for me to sleep so I close my eyes. As soon as I do he starts drawing soft circles on the exposed flesh at the base of my neck with his thumb. It has the same effect it does when Daryl does it on my hip or side. It slowly drags me into complete unconsciousness.

When I wake up Merle is gone and loneliness hits me in the chest like a tone of bricks. The longer I lay in bed the more Daryl's absence becomes too much to bear. So I leave the perch, skip breakfast and go to the bridge between the buildings. I'm alone there and I don't feel comfortable being out in the open like this so I duck down behind the table tops and watch for Daryl between the cracks. After hours of sitting there trying not to think of the hell that he could be going through I end up deciding that a watched pot never boils and go back to the holding room.

When I get there Carl hands me a hot bowl of powered eggs and canned ham with the hand that isn't holding his little sister. "Thanks Carl." He gives me a nod and looks back at his sister. "You're a good big brother you know." I don't know if his father or anyone else has congratulated him on how he has stepped up and helped with her so much. I feel like I should tell him that his mother would be proud of him, but I think that would make him sad so I keep my mouth shut. They only way I know he heard me is by the small smile that spreads over his face. I don't give the young man enough credit. He practically stepped into his fathers shoes when he was gone. And now he has stepped into the role that is usually Daryl's as his father's right hand man.

After I eat I busy myself with whatever needs to be done, problem is I did everything that needed to me done yesterday. So I end up sitting on the bridge with a pair of binoculars and my knitting. I bounce between the two to keep myself occupied, I end up dozing off a few times and before I know it the sun is not longer straight up in the sky, but near the five-o-clock height. I'm taking one last look around the yard through the binoculars when I spot him. His arm and shirt are covered in blood, but he seems to be walking okay. Merle and yet another new woman are leading the way. I hear the binoculars clank against the concrete behind me as I fly through the building alerting everyone in my path. "There back!" I say breathlessly as I skid to a halt in front of Rick.

"Stay here, we don't know if they have been followed." I make a face of discontentment, but Rick ignores it and heads out the door with Glenn and Carl. I wait with the others for them to reenter the room. I want to tell Daryl yes, that I want to spend every second of the rest of my life with him. That I love him more than air, more than myself even. My stomach gets that nervous fluttering feeling to it just thinking about seeing him and the things I want to tell him. Unfortunately that feeling doesn't last long, because as soon as he enters the door Carol has her arms around his neck hugging him like I should be. I grit my teeth and clench my fists at my sides. Digging my nails into the scar on my palm is the only thing that keeps me from going over there and ripping her off of him. I never thought that I would be the jealous type, but I guess I was wrong. The hug seems to go on forever before Daryl peels her arms from him and crosses to me.

He takes me by the hand and leads me to a random cell. "What happened to your arm?" I want to hug him but I'm afraid that I might hurt him considering he flinched when Carol hugged him and his shirt is soaked in fresh blood. I start to unbutton his shirt to see what lies beneath, but his hand grabs my wrist gently stopping me.

"I'm fine. Just harmless battle wounds." Battle wounds. I guess he is used to these. He's been battling people and things his whole life, his father, his uncle jess, his brother and his brothers stupid savage sons motorcycle gang that knocked him out and left him to the walkers. No one had ever been particularly nice to him. No one should have to get hurt on a daily basis like he did. I try not to let my face show what's going through my head, but I don't guess it works, because he lifts his good arm and brushes my hair out of my face. "Don't look so sad."

"I can't help it, you're hurt. I hate to see you bleeding." It's true, the amount of blood on him scares me, but he doesn't look like it is affecting him. So I let it sink in that he is here and he is alive. I wrap my arm around what looks to be his good side and hold him tight. "I was afraid something happened to you." I confess into his shirt and he holds me tighter.

"Nothin can keep me from ya woman." I smile up and him before he pulls back and checks my left hand. A big smile spreads across both of our lips when he sees that it is where he left it. "What do ya say? Will ya be my wife?" I'm stunned all over again. He opens my hand and kisses the palm. "Bay?"

"Y, yes. Of coarse I'll be your wife." The dam keeping back my words finally breaks and the words flood out. "I love you so much." We both say it at the same time and he picks me up with one arms and I put my hands around his neck as he spins me around and around. Our loud laughter alerts the others but I'm not paying the least bit of attention to the couple of people that gather at the doorway to the cell. Our lips meet the second my feet touch the floor, but the kiss doesn't lat long because the warm liquid starts seeping from his shirt into mine. When I pull back I finish undoing his shirt to reveal four inch gash across his chest then another across his side that is about three inches long but really deep. I pull past Merle, Maggie and Glenn, who are all smiling at us, to Hershel who is busy stitching up the newest new woman's leg. I know nothing about caring for wounds this bad so Merle takes over and cleans the cuts before reporting to Hershel that Daryl needs stitches on his side and arm. The wound on his pec should be okay with just a bandage. "You never told me how you got these." I say with curiousness and he huffs out a breath only to suck it back in when Hershel sticks the needle through his side.

"Some monkey jackass thought he could use Michonne's katana just because he can kill a walker with a baseball bat." He sucked in another sharp breath as Hershel hit a particularly sensitive spot in his side that I knew to be really ticklish.

"Who is Michonne?" I ask and he points to the woman across the room that Hershel just stitched up. She has skin the color of dark chocolate, I know that sounds kind of racist, but it's the most beautiful shade of skin I have ever seen. She has dreadlocks and hard eyes. They aren't unfriendly really, just guarded and calculating. She is looking at me because she heard me say her name and I wave to her, but I'm not surprised when she doesn't wave back. She just turns back to cleaning the blood off of her deadly looking sword. I can't help wondering if she used that thing before the dead started trying to eat the living. "Oh okay." I just watch as Hershel stitches Daryl up and listen to the sounds that Daryl makes. I don't plan on leaving his side anytime soon.

When Hershel is done I'm pulled aside by Merle while Daryl heads to bed. So much for not leaving his side. "See I told you I'd get him back to ya." Merle says with his head held high. "Didn't lie to ya did I?" I can't help the smile that spreads over my lips.

"No you didn't. Thank you so much Merle." I stand on my toes and hug him tightly before quickly sink back down. "I don't know what I would have done if you had lied to me." His eyes darken and I noticed his jaw flex.

"I think we both know what ya would have done." Uh, no I don't. I just said I didn't. I give him a confused look. "We both know ya would have done something stupid like this." He grabbed my wrist undoing the snaps of the bracelet he gave me and flashed the scar on my wrist to me.

"I would not. I have another life to think about now. Do you really thing I'm that heartless? That I would kill myself and take our child away from you?" All my defenses are up and I'm backing away from him.

"Na, I guess not." He said it while scratching at the back of his neck. "It's just ya tried it before, never know when ya will try it again." All the fight that had built up in me from his previous accusation evaporated.

"Look, I don't know if you have noticed, but I'm not the same damaged little girl that did all of that shit. I'm not stupid enough to think that I would go anywhere but hell if I did that. I'm not going anywhere I have her now," I point to my stomach "Thanks to you, jackass." Somehow or another the insulting name has become a weird joke that lets him know that I forgive him for whatever shitty thing he just said or did. He smiles before I walk past him and head for the perch.

When I get there I see Carol sitting on my bed next to Daryl. I know she has put two and two together by now, that I'm with Daryl. I mean I was wearing his shirt when she asked if I wanted to play a game and she saw me sitting on the bed Daryl is sitting on now when she saw me talking to Merle. Her being up here, basically in mine and Daryl's bedroom, kind of pisses me off. So I clear my throat getting their attention. There is a weird vibe that I can't quite catch as she slowly stands and walks from the perch.

When I sit next to Daryl on our bed he is stiff and scoots away. I don't understand the dramatic change until _I_ put two and two together. Carol has said something to him that angered him. I can tell by the look on his face. I don't know what has angered him. So I sit there looking at him waiting for him to say something, anything. When he does talk its not what I would have expected. "Are ya cheatin one me?" What did he just ask me? "Ya heard me. I asked if ya have been cheatin on me." I didn't realize until then that I asked the question out loud. I answer with a quick and offended no. "Then why did Carol just tell me she saw ya kissin Merle?"

"Kissing Merle? Gross you know I would never kiss him." I just got done calling the guy a jackass. I would never kiss him in a million years and I thought Daryl knew that. "You know I would never be with anyone but you." He looked genuinely confused for a second before a look of anger crossed his face. "She did see me and Merle, but what she saw was a desperate woman begging her future brother-in-law to bring her fiancé back to her. I never kissed him. I never stopped thinking about you the whole time you were gone." I was babbling in my nervousness and I didn't stop him when he pushed past me and went down stairs. I saw him go into Merle's cell. Merle's raised, offended voice flooded the room. Daryl came back up the stairs and kissed me hard.

"Let's go to bed." His words are choppy but I don't argue because he needs the rest. But that is when Rick's words echoed through my head. "If you have a problem, fix it before your heads him that pillow." I flip on the lantern and turn to face Daryl who hasn't touched me at all since Carol left. All I can see of him is his bare scared back.

"Daryl?" he grunts but it doesn't sound very nice. "You believe me right?" He doesn't respond making my heart drop and I start to fiddle with the ring on my finger. He hasn't asked for it back. That's a good thing right? I keep waiting for him to answer, but he doesn't. "Please don't shut me out." I whisper knowing he is still awake. "Tell me what's goin on in your head."

"Why would Carol lie to me?" I can't tell if that means that me believes me and not her.

"I don't know. Why would she?" I asked wishing he would face me then I remember that he can't lay on his stitches. I can't stand to not be touching him so I trace the crisscrossing scars on his back with the tips of my fingers knowing that it had a relaxing affect on him. He jumps when I first touch him and his body remains stiff under my fingers for a few minutes until he loosens and sighs.

"That's what I can't figure out. She has no reason to, but she did anyways." So he believes me.

"She does have a reason to." I see him try to look at me so I suggest we switch sides. When we are rearranged reaches up with is hurt arm to sweep a wave out of my face and run the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip.

"Why's that?" All the ice has melted from his voice and is replaced with a light confusion.

"Because she wants you for herself. Why else would she have tried to get you to hate me?" his face contorts to understanding. "Did you love her? On the farm?" I ask almost not wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah." I involuntarily stop breathing and I feel like I might cry. "But now how she seems to think." Oh thank god. "She was never more than a friend to me." I release the breath and relax my face admitting that he had me scared there for a minute. He laughs lightly. "Na, I've never love anyone the way I love ya." I smile and press my lips to his before I remember that he could really use some sleep. He makes a disappointed sound when I pull back and flip the light off.

"Sorry, but you need your rest." He grunts as he tries to get comfortable and I'm trying not to touch him, because I'm afraid I might hurt him in my sleep.

"Would ya get over here woman, can't sleep without ya." He practically growls at me, but I don't move.

"I don't want to hurt you." I said stubbornly, but he uses his hurt arm to pull me to him. "Daryl you're going to rip your stitches out if you don't stop that." He adjusts me to our usual sleeping position tangling our legs together which is a new development.

"Quit yer protestin and sleep." I try to kiss his chest, but I end up kissing a bandage instead so I pull my head back and pray that I don't head butt him during the night. "Don't worry it's so padded till I wont feel a thing." This gives me little relief, but I end up easily falling asleep to the small circles he rubs on my side with his thumb.

**A/N:** Okay the savage sons motorcycle club is off of the video game, I didn't come up with that and Daryl calling someone a monkey came off of the video game too. I noticed that when Daryl would execute a walker in the game it sounded like he was saying monkey, but I wasn't sure. Then he called his brother a monkey something or other and confirmed that he was calling the walkers monkeys. I found that hilarious so I just had to put that in here. The video game also said that the cuff bracelet that Merle wears is from their mother. I didn't get to that part in the game until I had already put it in my story that he made it himself. Anyways, please leave me a review if you like this story, they are what keep me writing. I get easily discouraged when no one reviews. So REVIEW! lol just playing around. I love you guys. Thanks for reading.


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